I meet Benjamin’s eyes with a long sigh. “I appreciate you listening to me and giving your honest opinion. I hope I didn’t strain the boundaries of our relationship.”
“I don’t feel strained at all.” He looks pleasantly surprised. “Honestly, it’s usually the other way around.”
We finish the meeting and I feel more energized than I have in days. While I don’t exactly feel better about the Nathan situation, I do feel more solid. Admitting to myself that he has a genuine reason to be angry doesn’t feel great, but it gives me something to work with. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel taken advantage of. While that’s not what I was doing, I understand why he feels that way.
Now I just need to figure out how to help him see.
FORTY-ONE
Mina
I leave the office, intending to head home, but make an unscheduled stop when a Help Wanted sign in the front window of a bar catches my attention. With the advance I got from Nathan, my finances are fine. Tight. But fine. But given where we are? Using that money seems wrong. When he was The Prince of Darkness and I was the Hot Mess Express and everything between us was a show we put on for others, it only seemed right to be paid for my efforts. But now that he’s Nathan and I’m Mina and we were falling in love, spending that money feels dirty. Considering he called me a whore for clicks, it feels downright filthy.
So.
I should give it back.
Except I can’t pay Mom’s bills without it.
Unless I get that second job I’ve been thinking about—hence my interest in the Help Wanted sign.
Working two jobs will be hard, especially given the extra clients I’ve added to my roster. And I’ll be tired. But I’ll be able to take care of Mom and maybe help Nathan realize I didn’t think of him as an opportunity like his friend Dom swears I did.
With a resigned sigh, I pull into the bar’s parking lot and walk inside to ask for an application.
Twenty minutes later, I walk back to my car with a job and an idea. Benjamin and Tad helped me realize how bad Fallon has made Nathan look. I don’t know where he and I stand and that sucks. I wish he’d talk to me so I can apologize and try to make things right. Until then, the very least I can do is some damage control on his reputation.
Instead of driving home, I go to Fallon’s house. It’s small, but impeccably maintained, with flowerpots lining the steps leading to the porch she sweeps every day. I used to think she had great taste and wasn’t afraid of hard work, but I’m starting to believe image means more to her than it should. That the impeccable clothing and hair and landscaping speak more to her need to feel better than other people than an innate sense of style or self-worth.
I’m not in the mood for the conversation she wants, but I’ll negate my irritation long enough to see if she’ll help me do right by Nathan. A man like him deserves a little discomfort on my part if it will help show the world who he really is.
With a bracing sigh, I knock on my friend’s freshly painted red door. Seconds later, it cracks open.
Fallon peeks out, then throws the door wide with a grin. “I knew you’d forgive me!”
I step out of hug range, hands up, warding her off. “We have a long way to go before we’re there.”
Fallon huffs and draws up short. Her gold-shadowed eyes flicker with annoyance. “Then why are you here?”
“I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything. You name it. I’ll do it.” She steps forward again, hands out, eager to put our friendship back together. If she’s the person I thought she was before all this, then I am too. But if she’s the person I think I’m starting to see, then I’m not sure I want anything to do with her.
“I want you to publish an apology article on your blog for Nathan.”
“An apology?” Fallon physically retreats, shaking her head like she smells something nasty. “That’ll ruin my credibility.”
And there it is. Her first thought is her damn blog. Not her impact on Nathan’s life or her supposed best friend. She’s seen firsthand how her choices affected me. That should mean something.
“Seems fair,” I say, inwardly begging her to think about someone other than herself for a second. “You ruined his reputation. And our relationship.”
“He ruined his reputation.” Fallon steps outside and closes the door, then crosses her arms over her chest. “How is that my fault?”
How can she even ask that question?
“You grossly misrepresented his every move.”
She scoffs. “For his own good.”
The fact that she didn’t deny the misrepresentation suggests she knew exactly what she was doing the whole time. My heart sinks to my stomach.
“Just like you told everyone we were fake for my own good?” I place a hand to my chest as Fallon triumphantly lifts her chin.
“Exactly.”
She thinks I’m finally understanding her, and in a way, she’s right. I think I’m seeing the real Fallon Mae for the first time, without the assumption of kindness and goodwill I naturally apply to everyone. It’s not a good look.
I reach out to take her hand. “If you value our friendship at all, I need you to do this for me. For Nathan. I’ll even write the article. You just need to hit publish.”
A storm cloud darkens her eyes. “That blog pays my bills.” Her voice rolls like thunder, warning me of impending danger.
I’m stunned by her resistance, despite what I’m coming to understand.
I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, but it’s clear now. Helping Nathan realize how much he changed was never the point of Fallon’s articles. Maybe, maybe she wrote the first one with that intention, but those that followed? She was harnessing the energy of his name for personal gain.
God, I hope I’m wrong.
“You told me Nathan sees me as an opportunity, but you need to take a long hard look at yourself.” I brace myself as I channel Benjamin’s bluntness. “I think you’ve been writing these articles about him to grow your subscriber count. This was never about him. It’s about likes and clicks and money.”
“Wow, Mina. Tell me what you really think.” Fallon tosses her hair and breaks eye contact, staring blankly at the sky. “Come on, though. You know this. You know me. I was showing Nathan how much he’d changed so he’d pick himself up and put himself back together. The growth in subscribers was an unexpected bonus.”
“Maybe that’s how you started, but that’s not how it ended. Nathan isn’t the man you made him out to be and if you didn’t know that before I got together with him, you certainly did after. Even then, you obliterated best friend code, publishing things I told you in confidence, and still managed to misrepresent his every move. You made him sound like a villain when he is so not. Imagine how infuriating it is to have someone lie about you and know people believe the lies? Put yourself in his shoes. Just for a minute. And then, when you’re done, put yourself in mine. I’m furious, Fallon! Furious!”
She smooths her hair and shakes her head, still not able to look me in the eyes. “I’m so small, Nathan probably doesn’t even know I exist.”
That’s all she has to say? After I initiate the conversation I wasn’t ready to have in the first place, she has the balls to brush off my feelings with an excuse she knows isn’t true? Fallon’s been saying it this whole time. I only need to see a glimmer of goodness in someone to forgive a whole lot of bad. She just had the target wrong. She’s the one I needed to look out for. Not Nathan.
“You saw how he reacted to you in my bedroom, which, by the way, shows he definitely knows you exist.” I grimace as the truth of the woman in front of me crystallizes. “I told you how frustrated he was because of your articles. You just doubled down and said that meant your plan was working. Even when I asked you to stop, you kept going. How are you not the one seeing him as an opportunity? Explain to me how you didn’t take advantage of me, of our friendship, for personal gain. I’m desperate for a reason to forgive you, here. You gotta give me something.”
There’s a long moment with the two of us just standing there, silently staring. An older couple walks by on the sidewalk in front of the house, both lifting hands in greeting when we glance their way. A week ago, I could have seen that as a possible future for me and Nathan. Now, I’m waiting to discover if I’ve been friends with the real villain all along. Life sure does love its surprises.
“You make me sound like such an asshole,” Fallon says, but her face is so closed, I can’t tell if she’s coming around to my point of view or victimizing herself.
I raise my brows. “You have one thousand percent been an asshole. Profiting off someone’s misery? You’re better than that.”
Or at least I hope you are, I think, then wait several uncomfortable seconds for Fallon to respond.
