“Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.” He handed me a tissue. “It’s my first day on the job, and I want to impress the boss.”
I sniffled. “By making me cry?”
“No!” He shook his big bullhead. “If I caught something they missed, it would make me look good.” He hitched a shoulder up nonchalantly, and I narrowed my eyes.
“So you have no authority to interview me in this manner?”
He appeared scared as his eyes widened, and he swallowed hard. “Miss. I was merely asking the questions that seemed relevant. I want to clarify that I wasn't accusing you of anything.”
“Then let me see Caz, and I won’t report you.” I had no idea if I could report him or not, but the emotional blackmail seemed to work because the next thing I knew, he was wheeling me to her room.
“Are you okay?” I questioned as soon as I saw her lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Dandy. How are you?” She shuddered as she took in my foot.
“It looks worse than it is. What did you find out?”
“Nothing I couldn’t have guessed. There was ketamine in my system. The cops found some embarrassing photos of me and them on their phones, but I was still in the clothes I had on, so they don’t think there was foul play.” Her voice was almost robotic. “Oh, they also took my underwear.”
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, Caz. How do you feel… emotionally?”
She shrugged. “I guess… stupid for believing Davia could ever change. And violated.”
That was what I had been afraid of. What if the kiss was a trauma response? Or drug-induced?
“You’re not stupid, and this isn’t your fault.” I moved my chair toward the bed, but I didn’t touch her.
She needed a friend right now, and I didn’t want her to think I was taking advantage.
She sighed and reached for me. I hesitated, but she didn’t give me the option as she pulled me closer.
“I know I’m not the one to blame, but I don’t want to be Davia’s victim again. She doesn’t deserve that power over me.” Her crystal eyes were watery, but there was a glimmer of joy inside them, which brought a smile to my lips.
“I don’t think anyone has power over you.” I let out a soft chuckle, but she just shook her head.
“That’s not true.” As she leaned in closer, the sweetness of her taste replayed in my mind. “When I’m around you, I have no control over myself.” She eliminated the space between us, crashing her lips against mine.
I had to know something before I could give in to this kiss. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked against her mouth.
She drew back and stared at me. “Are you having second thoughts?”
Now, I put doubts in her mind. “Not at all. I know a lot has happened, and I wanted to double-check to make sure it wasn’t a trigger response.”
“Hmm.” She appeared to deeply contemplate what I said, and my worst fear was coming true. “Will you stop overthinking for one fucking minute and just kiss me?”
I didn’t need to hear anything else. Caz was self-assured and knew what she wanted, which, for some reason, was me. I might not understand it, but I definitely wouldn’t fight it. Instead, I would thank the universe for putting Caz in my life and teaching me to accept the good things without question.
EpilogueCaz
The older I got, the quicker time seemed to pass, and the more life changed. But why couldn’t things stay the same? If something wasn’t broken, was there a need to go and DIY it for fun? But I guess if I hadn’t opened the door to new possibilities, I wouldn’t be where I was today—which was overwhelmed, but surprisingly happy.
Everything began changing for me last year when I got a surprise phone call from “Shorty.” Needless to say, when I found out that Matrix, Sonya, and Devon had been playing matchmaker by calling into the show to get me to help “Shorty” find love, I wasn’t pleased. They all thought Shiloh and I would be perfect together and took it upon themselves to interfere in our lives—nosy bastards.
However, how could I stay mad at them when Shiloh was by far the best thing that had ever happened to me? Besides, it wasn’t like I could easily cut them out of my life. I had to see them regularly because Matrix was my friend and Devon was his girlfriend, so they were in by default. And Sonya, well, I never would have believed it, but she became my producer once Matrix officially quit.
As flighty as she was, she was damn good at her job. She could record and edit things—dare I even think it—better than Matrix. Not to mention, she was on point with audience engagement and even joined me on air sometimes. It was working out better than I could have imagined and wasn’t what was causing me stress.
And after the incident with Davia, where she was charged with administering a controlled substance without consent, attempted blackmail, and theft, a judge sentenced her to a year in prison and awarded me a handsome sum of money as restitution. Sure, she would probably be getting out soon if she hadn’t already, but I wouldn’t worry about her as long as I got my monthly payment.
So, I was in that situation where I again felt like my life had it all. But did that mean it was time for the other shoe to drop? They always said that things would happen when you least expected them, but did that mean they had to occur at the same time? I never thought I would say this, but there could be too much of a good thing—if you couldn’t keep your head above water to enjoy any of it.
And even though most of the events in my life were positive, any kind of transformation was hard. It meant something had come to an end, which in turn meant something new had to begin. It was like a double whammy of anxiety.
Right now, I was closing on my condo with some unsuspecting twentysomething hipster who thought they were getting a steal of a deal for prime real estate, and I was washing my hands of the more-than-minor inconveniences that place caused me. Was I happy to be out of that overpriced box? Most definitely. Was I scared as hell to be moving in with Shiloh? You better fucking believe it.
Yes, Shiloh and I were still going strong, but we hadn’t lived together—we hadn’t had to face the problems of co-parenting, which would now be a thing since we adopted a three-year-old pit. She was the cutest blue nose I’d ever seen, but how would I be as a full-time dog mom? I didn’t know. It was one more thing that added to the uncertainty that hung over me like a dark cloud.
Oh, and did I mention I completely revamped my show? Instead of My Life Unscripted, Shiloh and I started Shorty and Caz’s Journey of Love. Shiloh still did her meal planning business in the comfort of my studio instead of being trapped with Yoni, who wanted to sabotage our relationship. With Shiloh’s notoriety on the show, she didn’t need to work with Yoni anymore, so she quit. Now, she and I were building an empire of sorts, and I adored every moment.
She and I went together like chocolate bacon. She was by far the sweet to my salty, but we balanced each other. Our exchange was simple yet profound—she coated my crispy edges with her soft gentleness. The two of us have had something that inspired others, and I wanted to share that hope.
The audience loved our story, and our witty banter kept them tuning in. We answered callers' questions, but we also focused on the problems we had faced and how we worked through them—issues that many people were too afraid to admit they had.
For example, the first fart. It wasn’t something people discussed, but I found out that if I stayed over, Shiloh would give herself horrible cramps by holding in her farts. If I was supposedly her person and loved her more than I could fathom, why did she think she needed to hide the fact that she had a gassy ass? Did she think I believed beautiful creatures like herself emitted delicate fragrances? It wasn’t a conversation she enjoyed having over the air, but I found it helped many people become more comfortable with the aspect of living with someone and how to broach those unsavory topics.
But we also turned the tables and discussed a subject everyone loved—sex. Even though my show no longer let the audience decide what ventures I would take, I polled their input on sex toys and positions to try. While there were some big flops, Shiloh and I were not the cause. Our chemistry was incredible, and as awkward as we could be in public, we were like synchronized swimmers in the bedroom. Any catastrophes we had were caused by misunderstanding the directions for the position or using a toy that a man engineered.
Regardless of the journey, the outcome for us was always the same: the best sex we ever had. I knew that sounded corny, but it was the truth. When you were with someone who you could laugh in the bedroom with but then turn around and fuck them speechless, how could you not enjoy every time you were with them? There was nothing off limits for us because we had trust and safety, and we only wanted the other person to feel good. If that wasn’t happening, we would throw in an audible and make it work—which was where we were today.
