“Wow! Shy, you are a little hot shawty.” She laughed, but this time, it wasn’t directed at me.
I stared in the mirror. It had been so long since I had seen myself in anything other than a solid color that it took a second for my eyes to adjust, but I didn’t hate it. It seemed like something Caz could pull off, and maybe it would help me channel her energy.
“Should I put on makeup or something?” I sometimes wore eyeliner and lip gloss, but that was about it.
“No. You have gorgeous skin and don’t need to cover it with anything. Now, it’s getting close to two. Do you know what you’re going to say? You mentioned she asked you out. Where are you going?”
I stared blankly. “She didn’t say. It was more like, I get off at two—call me.”
“Then you better plan something. If you don’t, she might think it’s a hookup. Unless you want it to be that, then just text her.” She nudged me, but I brushed her off without a second thought.
“So, should I ask her to meet me somewhere? Ask to pick her up? Or give her options to choose what we do?” I realized this was the first time I had ever been in charge.
I hadn’t dated a lot, and most recently, it was Yoni, whose idea of going out meant coming to my place. She probably did that so she wouldn’t run into her other “partners.” But that didn’t matter anymore. This was a different situation, and I had to figure out what to do, but I was spiraling.
“Calm down.” Sonya’s voice cut through my mini-panic attack. “Be chill for like five seconds and let me think.”
I shouldn’t compare, but none of this would be an issue if Caz were here. She would probably have the date set up for me already. Maybe I should text her again.
“Okay. I got it.”
I set my phone down to listen, but she stopped talking. “What do you have?” I prompted.
“Shit, sorry. It drifted away before I could grab hold of it. Let me try again.”
I was so screwed right now, so I decided to text Caz.
Me: Hey, remember how we went over those date ideas? Which one do you think would be the best option?
I saw the thought dots for the first time this afternoon, and relief coursed through me. She would give me something I could use while Sonya stood over there grasping at the air, trying to “catch” an idea.
Caz: I’m back with Davia. Delete my number.
Davia? Was that the girl who had broken her heart? Why would she give her another chance? Why did I need to delete her number? Was our friendship over? The nausea returned, and I could feel the uncomfortable churning in my stomach. Why was this happening now?
“Hey, maybe I shouldn’t go on the date. I’m not feeling well.” I looked at Sonya, and she stopped waving her hands around.
“That’s the nerves talking. Take her to Illumi-Links. It’s vibin’.”
I rolled my eyes. It was something, but I wouldn't take a date there unless I was intentionally avoiding conversation. That place assaulted my senses with an overwhelming mix of sights, sounds, and smells. The atmosphere was anything but conducive to romance.
“I’ll figure something out.” I didn’t know what, but this wasn’t it.
“Why don’t you call her on speaker, and I can help?”
She and I had a different definition of that word.
“I should probably do it alone. If you’re there, I might get flustered.”
“Suit yourself. I’m gonna grab a snack. You want anything?”
“Thanks, but I’m good.” Once she had left the room, I reached into my pocket and unfolded the napkin Ember had given me.
I couldn't resist running my finger over the hand-drawn heart at the bottom. I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, inhaling the flowery scent that filled Sonya’s room. As I released a long exhale, I dialed Ember’s number and waited. It rang and rang before finally going to a generic voicemail.
Had she given me a fake number? Was this all a joke? I checked the clock, and it was five till two, so maybe that was why she didn’t answer. I watched the time on the phone tick by and thought about calling again as soon as it struck two. But would that make me pathetic? My number was already in her call log. Maybe the ball was in her court now?
“Psst,” Sonya whispered from outside the door.
“It’s fine. She didn’t answer.” As I flopped onto the bed, a heaviness washed over me, weighing me down.
I wished Caz was here. Her presence had a way of soothing my soul and making everything seem lighter. Her text replayed in my head, each word echoing with the weight of uncertainty. The thought of her potentially being out of my life forever left me raw and powerless.
“What do you mean she didn’t answer?” She walked in carrying a pan of brownies.
“That’s what I mean. It went to voicemail.”
The moment the velvety chocolate touched her tongue, she couldn't help but moan. “Did you leave a message?”
“No. I don’t think I’ll call back, either. She has my number now.” I reached over and took a chunk. The gooey sweetness coated my tastebuds, but there was a hint of spice in it. They were different, but not bad. When I reached for another piece, Sonya’s eyes went wide, and I sighed.
“Sorry.” I pulled back. “I was stressed, but I won’t eat your food again.” Despite my gesture of surrender, she remained motionless, her mouth hanging open like a puppet.
I waved my hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention. “Are you okay?”
She was slow to react but finally spoke. “Yeah. Just so we are clear, I had asked if you wanted something before I left.”
“I know. And I didn’t, but that looked good. It was literally one piece.”
