Mourning would be safe and sound at home, complaining that she warn’t never
gonna learn how to bake. She wouldn’t have to go shoot two people dead.
She finally calmed herself and wiped the tears away. She knew it was
ridiculous to blame poor Jeremy, but she didn’t care. Stupid Jeremy. She repeated it over and over as she picked up the reins and drove. Stupid, stupid Jeremy. A few miles up the road she turned onto a trail that she was fairly certain was the one that would take her into the woods near the Stubblefield cabin.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The trail began to narrow and Olivia whoa-ed the team to a halt at a place where the wagon could still turn around. Anxious to find her way to the
Stubblefield cabin and back before dark, she quickly saw to the oxen and
changed into trousers, a loose-fitting shirt, and her work shoes. She took her mother’s gold watch from the money belt and slipped it into her pocket, together
with Mourning’s compass. She made careful note of the time, needing to know
exactly how long it took to walk there. Then she slung the shotgun, a skin of water, and the possibles bag over her shoulder and tucked the pistol into her waistband.
“You two behave yourselves,” she called over her shoulder to the oxen. When
she realized she was going to have to sell Dougan and Dixby in Detroit the thought made her sad. She shook her head and said aloud, “Well don’t that say
something about me. My only friends in the world are a couple of cows.”
The woods enveloped her and she felt even more alone. She was too tense to
appreciate her favorite kind of weather – cool, crisp air and lacy wisps of clouds
in the sky. She walked at a steady pace, head down, grimly set on her goal.
When she stopped to rest and quench her thirst doubts began to pick at her brain. She tried considering the possibility that Iola was right. Maybe she was being stupid and the only logical thing was to stay here until the baby was born.
Then next year she could go back to Five Rocks and claim the land that Filmore
would have been working for free. No. No. No. How could she even think of
such a thing? Nothing – not being a social outcast, not prison, not being dead –
nothing could be worse than staying here with the Stubblefields looking after her. And how could she even think of letting them get their filthy hands on an innocent little baby? She would, however, have loved to see the look on their faces if “their” baby turned out to be black.
What you have to do, she told herself, is concentrate on getting throughtomorrow morning. That’s all there is right now. Everything else has to wait on
that. Once it’s over and done with, you’ll get yourself to Detroit and onto a boat.
Then you’ll have plenty of time to lie around blubbering and worrying about the
rest of your life. For now, you have to be strong. If you’re going to walk up on
them holding a loaded shotgun, you sure and well better be prepared to pull the
trigger.
After she began moving again, a horrible thought struck her. What if they
brought someone home with them, for Sunday dinner? Olivia imagined herself
blasting at the door as it swung open and then saying “Oops!” when Emery
Meyers fell dead at her feet. What else could go wrong? What if she’d just shot
them and then some fool dropped by for a visit? She gave her head a short violent shake. There was no point in fretting. She was going to do what she was
going to do and just had to pray that nothing like that happened. Anyway, Iola hadn’t been afraid to hold Olivia prisoner in the barn without gagging her. That
must mean that they got about one visitor a decade.
Concentrate on relevant details, she told herself. Should I bury the bodies?
No, that would take too long – and I would have to touch them. If I don’t bury the
bodies, the wolves will have at them. Or bears. People will think it was a bear
that killed them. Yes, sure, she shook her head, disgusted with her muddled thinking. They’re definitely going to think it was a bear that emptied two barrels
into them. Could the Law tell they’d been shot, if only bones were left? Olivia
had no idea.
