‘You can stay. But it’s your choice to remain here alone. I won’t be coming back to save you,’ the ice demon says, toneless and uncaring. ‘If you are coming, don’t forget your food pills. I don’t know how long we will be gone.’ He walks out into the winter wilderness, his tall silhouette consumed by the white blizzard. The harshness of the world suits him, both share a similar ability to be not only intimidating but also cold and unforgiving. Conceding, I snatch the food pills off the counter and take a last look at the cottage. The front door seems to slam behind me as I exit.
My bare feet freeze through the crunching ice, my whole body shivering. It’s cold, but not as cold as real snow. If it was, my toes would have surely fallen off by now. We walk for what feels like forever and the likelihood of losing limbs comes back into the realm of possibility. Through the clearing, into the woods, and then further still. I’ve never been this far into the forest. Xander and I trail behind the ice demon in silence. For better or worse, this leaves me to my own thoughts. If I was going to bring up the strange dream I had last night to Xander, it’s clear that I can’t anymore. There’s a lot of things that I should be questioning, the orange glow, the strange memories, but somehow some part of me can never find the right time to bring them up or even what to say when I do. Every time I try to make eye contact, Xander looks away, rejecting any potential discussion.
We walk until my feet won’t let me walk any more. I lean against a tree trunk, exhausted, looking at the red soles of my pale feet.
‘Man, it’s cold.’ I breathe through the crisp air. ‘How much farther is it?’
Xander doesn’t respond. William looks back, noticing that I’ve stopped. He glares at Xander, sending a signal that I can’t interpret. He then continues forward. Xander huffs, turning his attention to me almost hesitantly.
‘It’s not that much farther. Can you keep walking just a little bit more?’
Looking at his uneasy expression, I nod silently. Xander gives a small pleasant smile. One I know isn’t real. At least now an opportunity for dialogue has opened up. I can take advantage of this. Maybe now is the right time to mention the dream. Although, how do I phrase it without sounding like an idiot? I mean, it was just a dream.
Still frowning, my forehead thumps into something ahead of me. I stumble a few steps back, the ice demon’s silhouette in front of me. Looking up, I expect to be met with an irritated glare, but the demon hasn’t noticed my existence, instead fixated on something over in the distance between some fallen logs and large rocks.
‘We should rest here for now,’ he states, ambling over towards something dark and bubbling. Curious, I follow. Xander also follows, unsettled.
Cautiously, I walk up beside William, interested to see what he is inspecting with such intensity. The smell hits me before anything else. A murky, pungent smell, most likened to a mixture of dead seaweed and rotting flesh. I can feel the blood drain from my face as I try not to vomit. A pond, annexed from the wasteland, a variety of rocks and trees shelter it from the freezing winds and snow. Green algae line the edges in a thick clump, foaming a disgusting frothy substance. The monstrously filthy pool teases the imagination with shifting shadows that slide underneath its surface. Imaginings of slimy creatures within its depths warn me from going closer.
‘Can both of you smell that?’ I cough, trying not to let the air back in through my mouth for fear I taste it. William looks over unconcerned. Xander’s face is paler than usual; I guess even he can’t stand the smell. ‘What are we doing here? Are we looking for something?’ I ask again, though equally met with silence. The wind whistles through the forest, resonating a ghostly sound. The shifting movements break the surface, slimy scales glistening in the light. My curious hand reaches out to touch them. But I don’t, because I’m not a child and I’ve already learnt my lesson.
Holding my nose, I crouch beside the pond, content with just watching the shapes below. The bubbles pop in its murky substance. A small noise fills my ears.
‘What is that?’ I say, looking over to William. He continues staring at the ominous pool, a distant look forming in his eyes. ‘Is that –?
‘Singing.’
I listen closer. He’s right. It’s disjointed singing. With every popping bubble, a small voice is let out. Xander moves closer, inspecting the singing himself. He eventually gathers the courage to crouch down beside me. ‘The souls of the drowned. This is a portal,’ the boy explains. William glares at him, unimpressed. Xander looks away. Something has happened between them.
I cringe. ‘Please don’t tell me we’re going through it.’
‘Let’s go, Xander,’ William mumbles, turning away. Xander’s hand rests softly on my shoulder for balance as he stands. The thick green mucus has returned to his grip. He takes a staggered shallow breath. From his touch, a startling ache ruminates across my body focusing on the base of my neck and collarbones. With a pain filled cry, I lurch forward. His demon strength pushes me forward, gravity pulling me down into the murky substance. I look back confused. My limbs flail as they reach for the light of the surface. I’m not getting any closer.
Through the distorted image, Xander’s hand plunges into the water, reaching for mine, as if it wasn’t the same hand that pushed me in. Regret and urgency flood his young face. William appears, grabbing him by his collar tightly, pulling back so that he cannot save me from beneath the waves. Xander struggles against him but it’s in vain and he knows it. William doesn’t budge.
This was deliberate. It was planned. There must be some mistake. Heret-Kau told them they can’t do this. Hurt and horror fills my stomach. I thought they had come to trust me, see me as at least some form of companion. The pond’s bottomless existence pulls me deeper down into the dark murky depths below. The only light in this dense darkness is the orange glow that’s appeared again. Stretching out of my body, it lights up the emptiness surrounding me, cocooning me from the surrounding depths. I can feel it trying to pull me back up to the surface. It’s trying to save me.
But even with its help, it’s impossible. I can’t hold my breath any longer and I foolishly gasp for air. The murky substance pours down my throat, gushing into my lungs. My chest leaps and strains in agony as my throat tears itself apart from the inside. Though barely visible, a figure moves in the darkness. The shadow reaches out grabbing my neck in its large hands. Sharp pains slice through my flesh, long fingernails tearing through skin. Painful but strangely better. Oxygen floods my brain, a mix of exhilaration, relief and pain. As the shadow disappears back into the darkness, my breathing regulates until the pain eventually fades away, and so too does my sight.
10
I sway, floating and weightless. Suspended in space, my limbs suddenly without purpose. For a while I let the current take me wherever it wants to go, wherever I’m meant to go. My heart aches. Let me be unconscious just a few moments longer. Once I wake, I’ll have to process my surroundings and come to terms with their betrayal, so I float in the ignorance of blinded darkness. I can still picture their demonic faces looking down at me as the water swallowed me whole. I take solace in picturing the different punishments that ice demon will face from Heret-Kau once she finds out what they have done. Perhaps one is also drowning.
When the fear resides, I compel myself to take a small peek. My eyes sting, the saltwater fighting them. Squinting, I try to process the sudden change of location and light. It’s ominous but not strange, enchanting but not beautiful. The blue ocean stretches out in every direction. My first instinct is to reach for the surface but with a quick glance it’s impossible to tell which direction is above. My body floats, suspended in the blue. I’m going to drown. I’m going to die here, captured in this endless space. The pond was a portal, just as Xander said. I rub my hands against my face. Don’t freak out. If you freak out, it’s over. The faster my heart races, the quicker I’ll need to breathe. Suddenly aware of the aching pressure in my lungs singing for me to take a big breath in, I calculate my escape. I choose the obvious direction. Up.
I reach my arms out and kick as fast and as hard as I can. Over and over and over. After swimming for what feels like minutes, my arms sprawl out in front of me uncoordinated, whatever form and technique I was displaying previously has now disintegrated to chaotic flailing. I never was much of a swimmer, so it’s nice to see that this world is unchanged in that regard. The light doesn’t get any brighter from above, just as it doesn’t get any darker. Eventually feeling defeated, I succumb to the terrifying emptiness.
‘You,’ a voice calls. It’s a clear sound, like a bell ringing brightly through the water. My whole body flinches in response. It rings again. ‘Charlotte, what are you doing here?’
Amazed, I turn to face it. A young girl with caramel swirls of hair swims up from what I can only assume are the depths below. Her extremely large and curious eyes glow a dazzling amber.
‘Oh, I was mistaken. You’re not her,’ she says, an echo of disappointment lingering in her voice.
The girl stares blankly at my legs for a moment before sporting a wide grin. My mouth gapes at her lack of limbs, or more specifically, what replaces them. A long eel-like tail weaves seamlessly through the water.
‘Y-you have a tail,’ I breathe. It bubbles out and escapes into the ocean but nonetheless, my voice is relatively clear. Unnaturally clear. The bubbles don’t float up; instead, they disperse evenly, dissipating to nothing. Strange.
Her face contorts, an expression resembling something close to amusement. ‘Oh?’ she says, bringing her tail up beside her to inspect it sarcastically. ‘I hadn’t noticed.’ Letting her tail fall back down below her, her dark eyes slide back to me, accompanied by a sinister sneer. With a quick and strong motion, she slides through the water, propelling herself forward and stopping close to me. Too close. ‘And you have legs… so you’re not from around here. You’re not a demon.’ She circles me closely like prey, her teeth glinting between her lips. ‘Who are you? What are you?’
I hold still as her arm stretches out. Gently, she moves away my drifting hair from the nape of my neck to touch the skin at my collarbone. A dull pain rises causing me to sharply turn away from her prodding. I shoot over a defensive glare as my hand brushes what I had initially thought were wounds. Instead, I feel movement beneath their touch; filtering, breathing. How had I not noticed?
‘These are…’
‘Gills,’ she confirms. Frantically, I look down at my legs to confirm. Still no tail, thank God. Not that it would have changed in the half a second I saw them last.
‘What are you?’ she repeats, clearly as confused as I am. ‘Are you dead?’
I shake my head ever so slightly, eyebrows narrowed. The girl ponders me curiously, tilting her head as she peers a little too close for comfort. Unnerving to say the least. She reaches out her petite hands, webbed and gifted with pointed green claws. They feed their way through my reddish-brown hair that unravels out around me. I freeze. She brings my hair up to her nose, immediately causing my body to tense, guard raised. If I was anywhere else, with anyone else, I would find this creepy more so than terrifying. Her movements glide effortlessly through the water like glass, sharp and smooth.
‘You have a smell about you…’ she says, flatly, her voice trailing off.
My cheeks flush. I admit it was hard to bathe at the cottage but I’d like to think I did my best, given the circumstances. ‘You smell almost human,’ she reiterates, a particular cunning coating her words as she allows my hair to slip from her grip. She studies my face, waiting for a reaction. I don’t allow myself to give her one. I maintain a cold mask, removed of any emotion.
My eyes meet hers, holding her gaze.
‘Because you are human,’ she says. The girl lets a few moments of silence sit between us, as if wanting the word to linger in the space. Human. When I don’t respond, she continues. ‘So how did a human end up on this side of the spiritual fence?’
Again, I don’t answer and when she smiles, irritated, I figure I probably shouldn’t push my luck any further. ‘It’s a long story.’
