“What the fuck?” I gestured at their silent discussion. “So it’s just me? I mean, I noticed when I was a kid but looking back I figured I had it wrong. But I didn’t: she wanted you two. She sure as hell didn’t want me.” I clenched my hands into fists, trying to keep steady.
“Are you serious?” Will asked.
“Yes I’m serious,” I shot back, incredulous.
“It’s not like that,” Price said.
“Oh no? Then how come when she was around she made it to whatever sport you two were playing each season, but when it was my stuff she was too tired, too drunk, or had something else to do, or who knows what. No apologies, nothing.” I shook my head. “So yes, it was like that. But of course you two didn’t notice. Why would you have.” My chest was tight and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.
Price ran his hand down his face, then met my eyes. “We’re not trying to excuse her behavior. And I…shit, man, I didn’t know you felt this way.”
My mouth opened. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Will spoke. “You’ve never said anything. You just get all sulky and quiet whenever the topic of her comes up.”
I opened my mouth to say he was wrong, but shut it. Is that what I did? “Maybe,” I conceded. Because unlike my mom, I knew how to acknowledge my mistakes. “But now you know.”
Price clapped me on the shoulder and beamed, happy no one was yelling anymore. “So you’ll come for dinner at Will’s when she visits?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s not coming.”
“She’s coming,” Will said forcefully, a determined glint in his eyes. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“Alright, man,” I said, feeling the tension start to drain out of my body. I hated arguing with my brothers. They were the only family I had. “I’m not sure I believe you.”
“You’ll come?” Price pressed.
I shrugged. “I’ll come.”
“Good,” Will said. He headed to the tent.
A splash and cheers rose up behind me. Mike had been dunked, by none other than his wife. I chuckled as she spun in a circle with her hands up in victory. From the tank, Mike smiled at her, his face full of open adoration.
I swallowed and looked away, suddenly feeling as though I’d seen something private. Their love seemed easy, effortless. I wanted that so badly. Always had, if I was honest with myself. But it wasn’t anything I’d ever let myself really think would happen.
But now? With Devon? It felt…possible. Improbable, maybe, and she wasn’t letting me all the way in yet, but it felt possible. And wasn’t that the damndest thing. Even with the specter of a possible dinner with my mother looming over me, just thinking about Devon put me at ease.
“Dude, what’s with the stupid grin on your face?” Price asked.
I slid my eyes over to him. “Nothing.”
“She’s not even around and you look like that. You got it bad, huh?” he asked knowingly.
I thought about lying, but Price would see right through me. He’d always known when I wasn’t being truthful. “Yeah,” I drew out.
“You happy?”
“I am. Still scared shitless she’ll leave, but…she’s worth the risk.” I was a fool, but I was a fool in love. Not that I was telling her I loved her anytime soon. I wasn’t that stupid.
He nodded. “I get that,” he said, a thoughtful look on his face.
My phone buzzed and I pulled it out from my jeans.
Devon
Is it bad that all I want to do is take you home and fuck you?
I coughed. Holy shit.
“You okay?” Price asked.
I mean, if getting hard at the county fair was considered ‘okay’ then, “Yeah, I’m good.” I looked back at the screen, careful that no one else was near to see it. Yep, that’s what it said.
“See you later,” I told Price. “I’ve got a blonde to catch.”
24
DEVON 3 MONTHS, 21 DAYS TO GO
I WAS EASILY ten people back in the line at Daily Dose, and it wasn’t even the morning rush. It was after lunch, a time in normal coffee shops when the lines got short or nonexistent, but not here, apparently. Jodi needed to hire additional help, but I knew she also needed to make those new payments she was staring down.
I cringed, thinking of my own dwindling savings and the steady decrease in funds that Gigi had earmarked for the house. Adulting was the worst. I’d gotten the electrician hired to start next week, and almost immediately, a leak had started in the ceiling of one of the guest bedrooms on the top floor. An investigation revealed that not only did that corner of the house need repairs done, but the whole house needed a new roof.
Finally I got to the front of the line. Jodi smiled, no trace of the stressed-out woman I’d talked to the other night for an hour on my front porch. “Hi, friend. Your usual?” I nodded and she rang me up. “How are things with Aaron?”
I smiled at her. “Good. Really good.”
“Yeah?”
