I kept shoving. He kept on not moving, absorbing every blow I delivered. “I buried him, Aaron. I can’t bury you, too. Don’t you get that? I can’t do that again.”
He stayed quiet.
I shoved my hair back with a shaky hand. “What if it happens again? Can you tell me you’ll stay outside?”
He opened his mouth, then shut it again.
“Can you?” I pressed.
“Not if it’s one of my brothers.”
“I can’t do this.” I doubled over, cold as ice, and sobbed the next words. “I’m not. No.”
“Dev—”
I felt his hand on my back and wrenched away. “No.”
“Devon, wait!” He moved in front of me and held his arms up.
I stopped, my breaths ragged. “There is nothing you can say right now.”
“Please. Please don’t leave like this,” he begged. “Can you come upstairs? Or my truck? Something. Please.”
With tears in my eyes, I took him in. I couldn’t make him choose between his brothers and me. Not when I wasn’t even sure where the next few months would take me.
Looking at him, knowing how loyal and good and strong he was…I finally understood that I wasn’t strong enough. I was a fool for thinking I was. It was all too hard, and I was tired of hard. The thought of losing Aaron, the terror that’d gripped me…it was too much. I’d lost my parents. Then my husband. Then my grandmother. I wouldn’t lose another person. I had to stop this before it got too far.
“You should go check on your brother,” I said.
His shoulders dropped, and I left.
25
AARON
DEVON IGNORED MY calls and texts all day yesterday. I was still on shift, so I couldn’t go to her house and make her talk to me. Make her understand the knot of ice that’d wedged inside me when I heard that Will had fallen into the stairs. Hearing the chatter between Chief and the others, knowing that Price was too far away to do anything…I had to do it.
I’d do it again, too.
Was it bad that, for a moment, I’d actually been ecstatic about how mad Devon was at me? It’d finally felt like she loved me, even if she’d simultaneously reminded me that the love of her life was dead.
I texted her again.
Please talk to me, Devon. Come over tonight and let me make you dinner.
I stared at the phone, willing her to respond, but after five minutes, I gave up and headed to the weight room.
I found Will and Price already down there, Price acting as spotter while Will benched more weight than anyone needed to. Dude was bent on being massive.
Will sat up, then grunted when he saw me.
“You’re welcome, asshole.”
Price flicked the back of Will’s head. “Be grateful.” To me, he said, “Even though you were an idiot, and it’s a miracle you didn’t get hurt.”
I gaped at them. “Really? How about ‘thank you for saving my life’ and ‘thank you for saving our brother’s life’? Is that too much to ask for?” I threw my hands up. “You two are the only family I have, so excuse me for trying to keep you around!”
Will arched his eyebrow. “Mom doesn’t qualify as family?”
I scoffed. “Please.”
“Can we keep the drama to a minimum for one day?” Price said, doing his best to sound like a beleaguered parent.
Will shot a look at Price before turning back to me. “Aaron. You know I’m grateful.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Fine. Thank you,” he grumbled.
“That’s marginally better.”
“And don’t ever do something that stupid again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your thank-yous need a hell of a lot of work.”
Price waved a towel at me. “He’s right. You’re not a firefighter.”
I wasn’t going to get anywhere with either of them. “Whatever. Let’s just drop it.”
