Zephyr: He pours a mean cocktail.
Abydos: Chronos College has become such a bore over the years. For an institution that claims to have no rules, they have so many budget restrictions.
Tunbridge: Ptolemy, you’ve been quiet. Did you know about this?
Ptolemy: No, I did not. I’m wondering how many cats around here do. I also want to know more about this Violet Sunflower that can erase memories, apparently?
Abydos: Ah. That’s…
Zephyr: That story’s a lot less fun.
Bellerophon: Are you sure you don’t remember our sister, Lakshmi?
Tunbridge: I —
Ptolemy: We want to know more. Right, Tunbridge?
Tunbridge: Mostly, I want to know where my friends are.
Zephyr: Last I heard, Nero was off to rescue them.
Ptolemy: And on a scale of one to fluffy evil genius, how trustworthy is Nero?
[awkward silence on the recording]
Forty-Six
Cellmates
Ruthven opened his eyes. The walls were a dusky rose colour. It wasn’t a time aisle. It didn’t feel like Event Space either, but there was something entirely unfamiliar about the air.
“What now?” he asked himself. He was lying on a low bench in a pale pink cell that had no door, no windows.
“You think you’ve got problems,” said a familiar voice behind him. “I just gained an uninvited roommate.”
Ruthven jerked in surprise, fell off the bench, and felt something crunch. He hoped it wasn’t him. It turned out to be his satchel, which had slightly broken his fall.
“Welcome to Chronos College,” said a calico cat, sitting on the top of a brick wall and swishing her tail in the sun. “I’d come up with something more original to say, but there’s no point in making an impression on you yet. Most students don’t make the cut, and the failures will all be booted back to the real world with no memory of this weekend.”
“What if I do make the cut?” Ruthven asked.
The calico cat smirked at him. At least, he thought it was a smirk. Possibly, she had something nasty caught in her teeth. “I’ll impress you later. I don’t imagine it will be hard.”
“Joke’s on you,” he said. “I’m impressed already. I didn’t know cats could talk.”
“Oh, honey,” said the calico cat. “This is only the beginning of things you don’t know.”
Raw pain stabbed through Ruthven’s temples. “Aaargh.”
“That will be the memories,” said Cressida.
Of course it was Cressida. Who else would be waiting for him in a cell after he had been kidnapped by glowing purple cats? “For some reason, the effects of the Violet Sunflower start to fail if your body experiences enough time disruption. Travelling to the far future is one hell of a time disruption. Welcome to the Kidnapped By Purple Cats Club. I’m the president. You can be secretary. Any questions?”
Lovelace could feel every scratch and scrape from her fight with Nero. When she opened her eyes, he was the first thing she saw.
At least he looked more battered than she was. She was taking the win.
“Well,” said another voice, grumpy and familiar. “Look what the cat dragged in.”
“Boswell.”
Lovelace trotted across the floor of a very small cell, and up on to the bench where her friend sat. She rubbed her nose against Boswell’s for a moment, and leaned into the warmth of his fur.
“Sweet,” said Nero. “No welcome for me?”
Lovelace narrowed her eyes at him. “Where’s my Monterey?”
“Always about the humans for you two, isn’t it?” said Nero. “So soft. As if time travel was all about them.”
The cell was a pale yellow colour, and smelled faintly of sunflowers. The three cats were the only inhabitants.
Boswell rumbled a sound that vibrated against Lovelace’s fur. “We need them. They need us.”
“No!” Nero arched his back, eyes brighter blue than ever. They glittered coldly. “That’s what the two of you will never understand. We don’t need them. They’re not going to stroll in and rescue us. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to meditate on how fucked we are.”
He swooshed his fur dramatically, turned his back on them and sulked.
