“No matter what happens, you can handle it. I believe in you.”
“Thanks.” Carly couldn’t hide the hopelessness she felt inside.
“If Liam rejects you, we’ll spend next weekend watching sappy movies and eating brownies.”
“That sounds perfect.”
A perfect way to be miserable.
Carly gave in and let the tears roll down her cheeks.
The morning workout session was as torturous as the day before, with Carly straining not to gawk at Liam. Watching a guy working out had never affected her like this before, making her more breathless than her strenuous exercise. Probably because most of the guys she’d seen preening and pumping iron in the university gym were showing off like ridiculous roosters. On the contrary, Liam’s amazing display of muscles also served a practical purpose, since he depended on them. And he was as much the opposite of conceited as a man could be.
After a shower, she hid out in her room, intending to work on her thesis. But her mind kept wandering, re-experiencing every moment with Liam. Especially the kiss that shouldn’t have happened.
Liam had said that kiss didn’t mean anything. Though hearing him say those words had been painful, she was sort of relieved he felt that way. If his feelings were casual, he wouldn’t be as hurt when she revealed the truth.
After lunch came the snowmobile adventure. Carly was more worried about being so close to Liam than she was about the intensity of the ride. And her fears were validated.
Even through layers of puffy winter coats, she could feel every muscle of his back flexing. And her gloved hands could easily discern the firmness of his chest and abdomen.
She attempted to lean with him into the turns, determined to be the ideal passenger.
Why did she care what he thought about her riding abilities? Didn’t she want him to stop liking her?
Yes, but not until later. She wanted to enjoy her fantasy as long as she could.
CHAPTER 16
LIAM
Considering it was the sixteenth anniversary of the accident, it hadn’t been a terrible day. Usually, Liam would have felt bogged down, reliving the horror, the anger, the guilt. But being with Carly made it easier to subdue the haunting memories.
Racing along the trails in the blanketed wonderland, he relished the speed and responsiveness of the snowmobile’s turbo engine. He deliberately throttled up as they topped the low rise. Yes, he enjoyed the way Carly’s arms tightened around him each time the snowmobile went over a bump or surged around a turn. It made him feel powerful again, a sensation he missed. And he could feel Carly’s trust in the laughter that followed each squeal of delight and in the way she relaxed against him on the straightaways.
She was beautiful, inside and out. And she didn’t treat him like he was different from every other man out there. Carly seemed to admire him rather than feeling sorry for him like most people did. With Carly, conversation was easy. She didn’t make him feel awkward.
Carly and he seemed compatible in so many areas, even in their career interests. Yet he knew she was holding something back. She still hadn’t revealed whatever enormous error she had supposedly committed, and he wondered if it was simply an excuse to keep her emotional distance.
Despite the passion she’d displayed in their kiss, something was blocking her from considering even a continuing friendship, much less a more serious relationship. She seemed as anxious as ever to get away and had rebuffed any suggestions he’d made about remaining in contact.
Why couldn’t he accept that she simply wasn’t interested?
Yet he’d caught her looking at him with a heated gaze. Had that been his imagination? Or the way she’d blushed afterward?
Liam stopped the snowmobile in a clearing near a frozen stream, the sun’s rays breaking through the scattered trees to warm them.
“This is beautiful.” Carly’s tone was almost reverent. “Thanks for bringing me out here.”
“I love riding,” he said. “Love the rush.”
“It’s pretty fun. I’m usually not much of a daredevil. It’s fun with you, though.”
“I probably wouldn’t have pushed myself to do all these outdoor sports if it weren’t for my sister.” Liam propped his helmet on the handlebars and stretched his tight back muscles, leaning from side to side. “Kiera told me if I gave up doing what I loved, I would lose myself.”
“Sounds like you were lucky to have a sister like that.” He didn’t miss the tremor in her voice.
“What about you and your brother? Are you close?” He turned to look over his shoulder.
The moment he asked, he wished he could take it back. Her eyes glistened as she stared at the helmet in her hands. “We were. A long time ago.”
“I’m sorry you aren’t close anymore. I certainly understand family problems.” Liam handed her a water bottle and quickly changed the subject. “You should drink. It’s easy to get dehydrated.”
“Thanks.” She took a swallow and replaced the cap. “I want you to know I think you’re amazing, Liam. And—”
“Ugh… you can stop right there.” Dread thickened his tongue. He could tell what was coming next. He’d heard that introductory phrase before. Carly was about to reject him, like every other woman had. Just when he thought he’d finally found someone who could see beyond his disability. Why had he gotten his hopes up? And why did it hurt so much worse than all the other times? “Don’t say another word.”
I have to accept the truth. I’m never going to meet a woman who sees me as a whole man. Never.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.” Bitterness seeped into his words. He faced forward, not wanting to see her expression. “When a woman tells me she admires me, it’s means she thinks I’m amazing despite my disability. It’s an insult. Would it be amazing that I took you on a snowmobile if my legs weren’t paralyzed?”
“Liam, that’s not what I meant.”
Her desperate tone didn’t faze him. He was angry with himself for opening up to her. If he’d kept his emotions in check, she wouldn’t have been able to hurt him. Instead, he’d let his guard down, and her few careless words had sliced deep into his soul.
“Really, Carly?” He should have protected his heart. Recognized his hopes for what they actually were—impossible dreams. In what world would a woman as amazing as Carly want to saddle herself with a man like him? “Then tell me what you meant.”
