Here’s the deal: God is waiting for us on the other side of our yes. However, sometimes our “But how?” will lock down our action. God is saying, “I want to unlock what’s inside you, even before you understand what I am doing.” If He told us what was going to happen, if He told us His full plan, we wouldn’t be able to handle it, because it’s too great. So let’s not have a questioning spirit. Of course, we can ask questions because God welcomes our humanity and takes our questions seriously. But let’s stop waiting on another and another word from the Lord before we move into action when we know He is inviting us to step fully into the life He has called us to.
Sometimes Earl will plan a date on our day off and won’t want to tell me what we’re doing, but I like to know the plan. Sometimes he’ll surprise me and say, “I’m going to take you on a date, and it’s going to be an adventure.” But I start asking so many questions that I can’t enjoy the journey. Of course, it’s natural at times to have questions. But our questions can hold us back. Our “But how?” can act as our brakes. God is saying, “Stop questioning. Stop trying to figure everything out. Stop trying to chart everything. Stop trying to make grids and graphs and checklists.” Just say yes, and He’ll give you grace for the future. Stop asking “How?” We keep waiting for the “How,” but He is waiting on our yes, then will show us the “How” in His time.
Mary moved from “How” to “Yes.” And we can too.
By the end of Mary’s conversation with the angel, she said, “Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve” (verse 38, MSG). God is calling us to have that posture too.
But as I’ve learned in my life, there are many ways to say yes.
The Fully Persuaded Yes
Romans 4:19–21 says this about Abraham after God promised him a son: “Without weakening in his faith, he acknowledged the decrepitness of his body (since he was about a hundred years old) and the lifelessness of Sarah’s womb. Yet he did not waver through disbelief in the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God was able to do what He had promised” (BSB). Abraham didn’t waver, which means that he didn’t go back and forth with thoughts such as, Well, maybe I’m called, and maybe I’m not. Well, maybe God has a plan for my family, and maybe He doesn’t. Well, maybe my future’s in His hands, and maybe it’s not. No—Abraham was fully persuaded on the good days and the bad days.
We need to go back to the Word and be fully persuaded that He will never leave us or forsake us,[2] that He has plans for our lives,[3] that He knows every single hair on our heads.[4] He wants us to be fully persuaded in our yes.
Abraham was fully persuaded. I want us running into what God has for us with the fierce posture of a lion, not the fear and timidity of a turtle. Be fully persuaded even if you don’t fully understand yet.
The Unselfish Yes
I also call this one “the big-girl yes.” This type of yes involves no benefit to you. It ensures another person’s blessing because of you. The unselfish yes is a more mature version of yes. This yes pays for someone else to go to dinner, and you watch them eat but don’t taste it yourself. Moses’s mother placed him in the Nile and didn’t get to enjoy him in her home, because he was adopted by the pharaoh’s daughter.[5] Her yes made a way for Moses to change a generation. It’s possible she didn’t get to watch him crawl on the floor of her little house, and she didn’t get to see him take his first steps. But her yes caused a ripple effect that we look to for inspiration today. She said a big-girl yes, and I believe that God is calling us to step into this type of yes. My middle child, Grayson, came into our lives because a young woman, probably nineteen or twenty years old, realized that she couldn’t give him the life he needed. She went through the very selfless process of putting together an adoption plan for him. Can you imagine? Maybe you’ve placed a child for adoption. You felt the baby kick, went to the doctor’s appointments, watched the ultrasounds, and dreamed about your child’s future. But then the realization hit you that you’re never going to get to watch him take his first step, never going to get to take him out to ice cream or put money under his pillow when he loses a tooth. I’ll never forget when we walked into this young lady’s hospital room. We met her when Grayson was just three days old. She began to tell us her story, and Earl just looked at her and said, “You are so brave.” Her yes has changed our family. Her yes brought this beautiful little boy, who we are madly in love with, into our home. As a result of her unselfish yes, Grayson is growing up in love with Jesus and planted in God’s house. God is calling you to an unselfish yes. Although you might not get to enjoy the fruit of your yes, you know and find peace that it’s making a way for someone else.
My mother-in-law, Diane, was a single mom raising a little boy in the inner city. She worked two jobs and faced so much adversity, but she kept showing up and serving in church, kept exposing Earl to church, kept saying yes when it was tough, kept saying yes when she didn’t know how the bills were going to be paid, kept saying yes without a husband, and kept saying yes to her son’s dreams. Because she said yes, I’m now married to my very best friend and I get to spend my life with him. I want to honor her yes.
The Pioneering Yes
This is the type of yes where you say yes before anybody else. It’s easy to say, “Oh yeah, me too,” when everybody else has already said yes. Sometimes that’s okay. But maybe God is calling you to say a pioneering yes to something that’s never been done before. He might be calling you to step out and say yes before something is popular or before others do. This type of yes makes me think of my pastors, Rob and Laura Koke. Laura, who I mentioned earlier, is my mentor and dear friend. She is a pioneering-yes kind of woman. She and Rob have said yes to more than thirty-five years of ministry at their church, Shoreline Austin. She has said yes to late nights, phone calls, text messages, being believed in, being stabbed in the back, and building a church that ten thousand people are now attending. She has said yes to pouring into and mentoring me. It’s one thing to feel like you’ve done well when you’ve said yes for two years. If you’ve invested only a short amount of time, you might think, Check me out! Look at my followers. Look at my feed. But try saying yes for more than three decades, no matter the struggle or heartache involved. I love my pastors so much and am so grateful for their yes.
Laura and Rob walked through a tragedy several years ago when their son Caleb passed away. Laura could have opted out of her yes. She could have said, “I get a pass in life because I’m walking through one of the most tragic events that a parent could ever have to face.” But she didn’t say no even though no one would have judged her for it. Her yes actually got louder in the face of her adversity. I dare you to keep your yes strong like hers even in the face of trouble. Now her yes is being felt all over the world.
Laura’s yes made a way for my yes. Your yes isn’t just about you. It’s about the next generation. Your legacy doesn’t end when your life does. Others are supposed to carry out what you start. Your yes can have a domino effect, leading to yes after yes after yes. I need you to wake up. I need you to step into what God has called you to, because He’s saying right now, “Daughter, rise up; step into My plans and purposes. Don’t hold back. Stop thinking about yourself, and think about who’s going to be affected by your yes.”
Your yes is going to make a way for somebody else’s yes.The Enduring Yes
We might be called to say yes to things that we won’t even see come to fruition in our lifetime. But we want to be women who leave a legacy through the yeses that we say.
Years ago, many women prayed for a revolution like this. They never got to see a generation of women saying yes to God’s calling on their lives and saying yes to sisterhood. They prayed for a time when they could look to their right and left and see Black women, Hispanic women, white women, Asian women, and Indigenous women all worshipping Jesus Christ, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Those women paid the price so that we could experience a value revolution with our yes. Those women probably walked into their prayer closets and prayed, “Father God, I believe that one day there will be revival among women of a future generation. I believe that one day women of all backgrounds will worship Your name together.” We stand on the foundation of the many prayers of the women who came before us. The prayers of those women made this book possible, and they didn’t even get to see the fruition of their prayers. Will we be that type of woman for others that are coming behind us? I want to honor the women over fifty for saying yes all these years. Thank you for saying yes to doing hard things; thank you for saying yes to following God and creating roads and bridges we can now walk on.
What has God called you to say yes to? He has something that He is calling you to do. He has a mission and a plan for your life, and it’s bigger than your right now. The future is in God’s hands, but we can partner with Him by saying yes.
Yes to being present with our kids even after a sleepless night.
Yes to getting marriage counseling.
Yes to getting help for our body-image issues.
Yes to forgiving a girlfriend even though she stabbed us in the back.
Yes to supporting other women in our world.
Yes to encouraging the next generation.
You may feel like you’re being attacked with the spirit of death. You may feel like a death threat hangs over your life and your mind. But the Bible encourages us to remember our eternal life with Christ: “I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord” (Psalm 118:17, NASB). For you, saying yes might mean staying in the fight and remembering that God has already said yes to you and that your future is in His powerful, loving hands.
Every negative word that has ever been spoken over you is broken in the name of Jesus. You can step into your future with confidence.
You may need to say yes to endurance, to not quitting. Or yes to getting the help you need to finish what you began. Or yes to getting started—starting that non-profit, that song, that business idea.
The world needs what God has placed inside you. And saying yes to God will let it shine.
Let’s Pray
Father God, I thank You that You have said yes to me, to my life, to my salvation, to being my present help no matter what challenges I’m facing. I thank You for the conviction that today I can say yes to You. I thank You that the Spirit of the living God is in me and that You’re going to use me and the sisterhood of Your daughters to change this world for Your glory. Help me step into this season with boldness. Help me step into this season with faith. Guide me in doing what You’ve called me to do. Whatever it is You ask of me, help me say yes.
15 Night Vision
Recently, Earl and I were returning from a quick trip, and we saw Stevie Wonder at the airport. Earl’s a practical joker, so when he pointed Stevie Wonder out to me, I said, “Yeah, right. Whatever. That man is not Stevie Wonder; he’s just a guy with braids.” Earl kept insisting that the man was Stevie Wonder, but again, he teases all the time. I’ve been married to him for all these years, and I still can’t tell when he’s being serious. So I decided to be bold and take a picture of the man. And sure enough, it really was him. When I texted my mom-in-law, who loves Stevie Wonder, she said, “That is not Stevie Wonder. He would not just be at the airport by himself.” But he had a bodyguard and an assistant with him. I then started thinking about what it would be like to be blind. Stevie Wonder and others who are blind often rely on a guide to help them navigate a sight-dominant world.
If you’ve found yourself out walking late at night, you’ve experienced how your other senses—hearing, smell, and touch—become keener when you can’t see as well. When we go through dark seasons in our lives, we might discover we hear God’s voice in a different way.
Maybe right now you feel lost because you don’t know what’s next for your life, and that is driving you crazy. I get that! Or maybe you feel alone in just kind of a blah season. I get that too. God wants to speak to you during this time. He wants to give you clarity, and He wants to give you vision for your future to carry you through to the other side of this season.
Sometimes when our lives are dark, we run for cover until the storm is over. We just hide out. But what if we ran into the hard times and toward Jesus? What if we ran, saying, “God, I can’t see. I don’t know where I’m going, but I hear Your still, small voice. I know that You’re going to lead me and guide me. During this time when I don’t know if I should step forward, step right, or step left, I’m believing that I’m going to be able to hear from You like never before.” This perspective will give us a different way of approaching times of darkness. These times could actually be when God wants to birth something in us.
We know that “the Lord gives sight to the blind” (Psalm 146:8, NIV). What if that means that He gives us insight and vision when we feel blind? God can give you vision for your future in times when you can’t see in the darkness. Instead of approaching these times with despair, wait them out, saying, “God, what are You saying in this moment? How are You leading me? What are You bringing to life in me? What are You trying to show me? I can’t see anything, so I’m just going to wait to hear what You have to say.” We can draw great grace and strength from this humble and curious posture.
When I was going through a really tough time with some family drama, I told God, “I need a word. I need You to just drop something in my heart and in my spirit to carry me through this time. I need a word to stand on during this dark, troubling situation.” He led me right to Isaiah 45:3: “I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” God is saying here, “I am going to give you treasures and beautiful things in times of darkness.” Treasures are hidden below surface level, so you don’t see them initially. You have to dig for treasure. God is saying, “When things get dark around you, when you feel like you can’t see, and when you don’t know which way to go, I’m going to give you treasures hidden in your season of darkness.” Don’t despise this dark time when you don’t know what next step to take. Embrace it. You’re not going to stay here forever. Just as the sun rises and sets every single day, this season will pass. We’re guaranteed the grace to get through it.
We’re always in a hurry to get out of the valley of shadows. We say, “Get me out of the valley, Lord, so I can get to the mountain. Get me out of the valley. Get me out of the valley.” But God wants to do something in you while you’re in the valley so that when you get to the mountain, you can stand strong and give Him the glory. While you’re in the valley of the shadow of death and you can’t see, He’s birthing your calling. He’s creating something for your future. He’s giving you fresh vision and purpose. He will give you treasure. He knows your name, He knows your story, He knows your struggles, He knows what you’re facing, and He cares. He loves you, He’s going to see you through, and He wants to speak to you when you feel confused and discouraged or when you don’t know where you’re headed.
