“Delia, can I ask you something?” Joseph asked.
“Of course.”
“What’s really bothering you?” he asked. “And don’t say it’s nothing because I watched you grow up. And I know what you look like when you’re truly upset, and that’s what you look like right now.”
“Do I?” she asked feebly.
“Yah. You do.”
Joseph leaned his elbows on the table and met her gaze expectantly. She considered putting him off, but she doubted he’d accept it. And somehow, knowing she couldn’t go to anyone else for advice made her stepfather suddenly seem like a better candidate.
“Can I trust your discretion, Joseph?” she asked.
“You have always been able to trust my discretion,” he said. “I have never once told tales about the goings-on in our home. Never once.”
“Well...”
And the story came out of her. How she and Elias had hoped to help their kinner through their issues surrounding their parents dating again and moving on, and how they’d leaned into each other and advised each other and supported each other and how the pretend relationship had suddenly gotten very real.
“But the kinner aren’t ready for this, Joseph,” she said. “That’s why we started this facade to begin with! We wanted to help them start thinking about it.”
“And what are the boys doing, exactly?” Joseph asked.
“Chasing off any man who shows interest! They’re so afraid that I’ll get hurt that they’re trying to head off any man who might think I’d make a good wife. And the reality of the situation is, there aren’t that many widowers to be had or single men my age. I do want to marry again, but I have to be careful...”
“Hmm.” Joseph sucked in a deep breath. “And what is to say they won’t settle into things once you choose someone?”
Did he remember a different home life?
“Joseph,” she said gently, “when Mamm married you, it wasn’t easy on us kinner. I know you were a kind and good man, but it was hard for us. What I needed was more time with my mamm to adjust to my daet’s death. I didn’t get that.”
“You understand why, though, don’t you?” Joseph asked. “The money was tight. She was tired and lonesome. She needed support, and...and I loved her dearly.”
“Yah, I know. I understand even better now that I’ve lost Zeke,” she said. “But Joseph, a new stepparent is a very difficult thing to navigate. Even for me, and I was Aaron’s age when you and Mamm married. I had a lot of trouble adjusting to you. I’m sorry—that might be hard to hear.”
“I know,” he said, but his lined eyes looked sad all the same.
“It was very hard, Joseph. I know Mamm married you for herself. She loved you. You loved her. You were good for each other, but Mamm wasn’t thinking about us kinner. At least I don’t think she was. I don’t want to put my kinner through that.”
Joseph pursed his lips, then angled his head to the side in acceptance of her description.
“I didn’t know how to be a daet,” he said. “I thought I could learn. I really did! But I didn’t know how to reach you. I didn’t know how to show you that I was on your side. And you were already a teenager, and your mamm had you well in hand. I just let her continue, and I didn’t get in the way.”
“I really thought you didn’t—” Delia felt tears in her eyes and she wiped an errant streak off her cheek. “I thought you didn’t love us, Joseph.”
“But I did!” Joseph leaned forward. “Does a man marry a woman with six kinner, work every day to bring home enough money to feed and clothe them all, and do it just for the wife? No! I loved you kinner, too. I just... I didn’t know how to show it. I didn’t know how to be a daet like the one you’d lost. I didn’t think you needed me!”
“I didn’t think I did, either,” Delia said with a small smile. “But since when do kinner know about what they really need? I needed to be loved by my stepdaet.”
“And you were, Delia.” Joseph’s chin quivered. “You were. I just didn’t know how to be your new daet. And I don’t think you knew how to love a new daet, either.”
“Maybe not,” she agreed. “I’m sorry, Joseph.”
“Don’t apologize for having been a confused young person,” he said with a tender smile. “You did your best. Now, I’ve had many years to reflect on what I did right and what I did wrong, and I think I have some advice for you.”
“Oh?” she said. “If you’re going to tell me I should have protected my heart better, I know it already.”
“No, not that,” Joseph said with a frown. “But sometimes what a child needs is to learn how to love the new person in the family. You cannot bring Zeke back, Delia. Your loyalty to him is wasted. He’s already gone. And you do need love and support in your home. You need a husband by your side. Perhaps what the boys need is not so much a home with only you and no father, but to learn how to love a good stepdaet who would be good to both you and them. Sometimes new daets and the kinner need to learn a few things together, and avoiding it doesn’t help. I tried that path, and I regret it.”
“Do you think so?” she asked slowly.
“I do,” he said. “For what it’s worth, of course. That’s just my two cents’ worth.” He reached across the table and patted her hand. “And you are much like your mother. She always had to get her reassurance from Gott. So that’s my take, but pray on it, Delia. See if maybe there’s wisdom in there somewhere. If not, throw it out.”
“Oh, Joseph,” she said with a teary smile. “Thank you. I will give it some thought and prayer.”
How much had she missed out on through the years by avoiding a relationship with her stepfather? How much advice had he held back? How much support could she have gotten from a loving stepfather? He wasn’t her real daet—that was true. But he’d been there, and she’d missed out.
How much would her own boys miss out on if they stayed on this path of overprotecting her and pushing away a stepfather who might love them dearly?
She did need to pray on this...because it sounded to her like Joseph was talking sense. And maybe there was hope for a future with Elias, after all. Maybe!
“You just seem to be in a bad mood, Elias,” his mother said frankly.
Elias sat in the big, airy kitchen of the main house, where his sister Dina and their mother puttered about setting an arrangement of date squares and shoofly pie onto the table. His parents’ little dawdie hus that was on this property was now full of boxes and bags, and it would be a few days, or even weeks, before it was arranged properly so that Mamm could take over the cooking again in their own little house. Until then, they’d be eating their meals and spending their evenings with Dina and her family.
“I’m not in a bad mood. I’m worried about my daughter’s lateness,” Elias replied. “She should have been home half an hour ago.”
“And you never stayed out a minute past your curfew?” Dina teased. “I remember how you used to be the last teen to leave! The hosts would be blinking and yawning, and you’d still be chatting away!”
