“I might have, but this is different.”
“Not so much,” Dina replied. “Be calm. She’ll be back. I’ve said it before, but having only one child means that you focus on her too much. Would you be panicking if you had three younger ones using up your attention? Not likely.”
His sister meant well, and she was probably right, but it wasn’t helping right now.
“Dina, she’s late. And she’s a girl, not a teenage boy like I was.”
“She’d only be late if she had left right away, and the hymn singing didn’t go long. She’s probably making friends,” his father said. “I remember how late you could be, too. And you were never in trouble. You were enjoying yourself with good people. That was all. She’s with good people, Elias.”
Elias didn’t answer, because they were all probably right. She was in good company, and she’d show up pretty soon, no doubt, but something in his gut wouldn’t give him peace.
Elias’s oldest niece, ten-year-old Fannie, appeared at the top of the stairs in her white nightgown, bare toes poking out from underneath and her hair pulled back in a blond braid. She looked a lot like Violet had not too long ago. The years had passed by awfully quickly.
“Fannie, you should be in bed,” Dina said.
“But you have treats,” Fannie begged.
“These are for grown-ups, and you can have some in the morning,” Dina said. “Off to bed with you.”
Dina’s husband, Bart, got up to go tuck his daughter back into bed, and Elias couldn’t help but smile as Bart swiped a date square off the plate on his way by. Fannie would have a little treat, after all. Daets had soft places in their hearts for their little girls.
“All right, then,” Elias’s father said, meeting Elias’s gaze. “I can see that you’re worried. If you want to drive out to the farm, I could show you the way.”
That was a good idea. Something about this didn’t sit right with him.
“The Swarey farm is closer,” his mother interjected. “They are what...a fifteen-minute drive away? And they’re on the way to the Beiler farm, anyway. Why not nip over there and see if her boys are back? Then you know if you need to worry. Those are good kinner, Elias. Very good. If she’s with the four of them, she’s safe, I promise you that.”
A better idea, actually. But after telling Delia how he felt, it was going to be awkward to go over there unannounced. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see him... All the same, his daughter’s safety trumped all of that.
“I’ll head over to Delia’s place,” Elias said. “And if her boys are home, one of them can guide me back to the Beiler farm.”
His father helped him to hitch up the buggy, and Elias pointedly ignored his sister and mother in the window as he turned on the battery-operated headlights, flicked the reins, and the horse pulled the buggy up the drive. They thought he was being overprotective—they didn’t hide that fact.
But was he overreacting? He certainly hoped not. If Violet arrived back at the farm while he was off looking for her, it would be a whole lot of worry for nothing on his part. But somehow he felt better doing something other than sitting around waiting.
Besides, all day he’d been around people—his parents, his sister, the kinner...and he hadn’t had any time alone to just let his thoughts and feelings settle. Somehow, Delia was still front and center in his mind, and he couldn’t push thoughts of her away. The truth was he missed her. Desperately.
What was wrong with him that he couldn’t simply set thoughts of her aside? Wasn’t this part of what they wanted to show the young people—how to date someone chastely, without any regrets, and to be able to respect boundaries and move on? What kind of example was he turning out to be? Not a good one! He hadn’t dated or courted in twenty years, and apparently, he was no better at this than an inexperienced young man! And he should be.
So yes, he was wound-up and worried about his daughter, but he’d been wound-up all day. Was he reacting like this to Violet’s lateness because of his own heartbreak? He hoped not. He couldn’t be the kind of father who took out his own emotional issues on his daughter. That was an excellent way to push her away!
As the horse trotted down the road, hooves clopping merrily, Elias attempted to sort out his feelings. He’d fallen in love with Delia, and that was his problem—no one else’s.
Gott, please help me to let go of her, he prayed earnestly. Loving her is only hurting myself. I know that. I can see it. Help me to let her go.
When he arrived at Delia’s farm, the lights in the house were glowing warmly from the downstairs windows. Upstairs was dark, but the kitchen and sitting room were both alight, and he felt a rush of warmth.
Delia took a house and made it a home. Her boys didn’t know how blessed they were with a mother like her. As if on cue, Delia appeared in the window, and his heart stuttered in his chest. She had that effect on him, it seemed. Would it be easier once he and Violet went home again, and he wouldn’t have any more reason to see her again? Maybe that was the secret—physically leaving—although the thought was a sad one.
Elias scanned the area in the swath of light from his headlamps, but he didn’t see Ezekiel’s buggy. He tied off his reins and hopped down to the ground. Delia opened the side door and shaded her eyes. She was outlined by a golden glow from the kerosene lights inside.
“Elias?” She sounded a little breathless.
“Hi,” he said. “Is it okay that I came by?”
“Yah, yah, of course.” A smile spread over her face, and he could tell that she’d missed him as much as he’d missed her. Her brown eyes shone with warmth, and he couldn’t help remembering that the last time he’d looked into them, he’d been holding her in his arms. He was only making this harder on them, wasn’t he?
“I’m sorry to just stop in like this,” he said. “But my daughter isn’t back yet, and I wanted to see if your boys had made it home.”
“No, not yet,” she replied.
“Oh...” So maybe he was overreacting a bit. “My family thought I was overreacting. I might be. Is this later than usual?”
Her smile softened.
“It is, I’ll admit,” she said. “It’s okay to worry, you know.”
“Tell my sister that. She’s been teasing me something fierce.” He smiled ruefully.
“Why don’t you come inside?” Delia asked. “I’m sure the boys will be back any minute, and when they are, you’ll know that they dropped Violet off safe and sound.”
“Do you mind?” he asked.
“Of course not,” she said. “It’s actually very nice to see you. I’d wondered if you’d come by again.” Her voice caught.
“I wanted to, but I thought—” He headed up the steps, and he paused when he reached her. She was soft, and smelled faintly of soil. She must have been out working with the plants until late, and he found that little detail endearing. “I thought you’d want me to stay away.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said softly.
