“Tais-toi,” Grant smiled.
“Okay…I’ll bite,” Hailey shrugged. “What does it mean?”
Grant shrugged. “I made it up.”
“I hate when you do that,” Hailey whined. “We don’t all speak German you know!”
“We don’t all speak French either apparently,” Grant replied snidely.
“Oh,” Hailey giggled. “Well…yeah…no Français…or whatever it is!”
“It means that I’m really glad you came out here, but I may change my mind if you ever call me Buster again,” Grant lied with a little laugh that showed a small dimple in his cheek that Hailey had never seen before. There was a long silence that dangled somewhere between awkwardness and an unspoken understanding.
“So, he’s not coming, huh?” Hailey sighed, putting her arm around Grant’s shoulders.
“How perceptive of you,” Grant mumbled.
“I know you’re mad, Grant, but be mad at him and not me,” Hailey huffed.
“I don’t care if he comes or not,” Grant rolled his eyes.
“You’re gonna have to be more convincing than that if you expect me to believe you,” Hailey replied.
“Go back inside,” Grant grumbled.
“Grant, you’re throwing yourself a pity party,” Hailey sighed.
“And I don’t recall sending you an invitation,” Grant snapped.
“Well, I’m crashing the party,” Hailey said, crossing her arms.
“Hailey, I really just want to be alone,” Grant insisted.
“No you don’t,” Hailey replied quickly. “It’s just what you’re used to…it’s what you do…when things get difficult, you pull away from everyone who cares about you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Phil, there for a minute I mistook you for my girlfriend,” Grant said sarcastically.
Hailey smiled. “You just called me your girlfriend!” she exclaimed. “You’ve never said that before!”
“How about going inside before I start referring to you as my ex-girlfriend,” Grant nodded.
“I usually would have responded to that with something equally venomous,” Hailey admitted, “but I’ve caught on to your game, so why don’t you drop all the bull and tell me what you’re thinking about as you sit out here pouting on this frigid night?”
“Do you really want to know what I’m thinking?” Grant asked. Then, without giving Hailey time to answer, said, “I’m thinking that my dad is right…that I’m selling myself short…and that I should quit basketball and focus my time and attention on something a little more substantial.”
Grant’s straightforward answer surprised Hailey. “You’re thinking of quitting basketball?” she gulped.
“I don’t know,” Grant shrugged. “Sometimes I’m certain he’s wrong…then other times I sort of feel like I could be a modern day Icarus, you know?”
Hailey thought for a moment. “I guess I don’t,” she shook her head.
Grant glanced at her. “As the story goes, Icarus and his father,” he explained, “were trapped on an island, and they fashioned themselves wings, so they could escape. Icarus’ father warned his son not to fly too close to the sun because the heat would melt his wings, but Icarus didn’t listen. He kept flying higher and higher…intrigued by distractions that would keep him from his goal, and, well, you can figure out the rest.”
“No,” Hailey grumbled, “I can’t.”
Grant shoved his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, irritated. “Well, his wings melted…the sun melted his wings…the sun is hot…Hailey…geez…”
Hailey held up her hand to stop him. “Thank you,” she interrupted.
“I’m doing the same thing, Hails,” Grant declared. “The general says turn left, so I take a sharp right. He says do one thing, and I go out of my way to do the opposite. What if I’m just young, rebellious, curious…but incredibly naïve…what if he’s been right all along? What if I continue down the path I’m on, and I screw up my entire life because I was too stubborn to see that my father is right about me? What if I’m setting myself up for certain failure?”
“I don’t think you do that,” Hailey shook her head. “I don’t think you intentionally do the opposite of what he wants you to do; I think the two of you just disagree on what direction you should go.”
“I tell myself that,” Grant replied. “I have obviously convinced you of that, and, to some degree, that is very true. However, something clicked with me tonight, and I realized that I’m not sure what I’m doing at all. I think about him and where he’ll be tomorrow and what sort of things he’ll be doing; then I think about myself and the choices I’ve made. I don’t know, Hailey, but I really think that staying here is just my way of taking the easy way out. I convinced myself that it was okay because staying has always been harder for me than going, but that’s just an excuse now. This isn’t me…this town…this slow paced life…this wasting time that I could be using to learn new things and educate myself on important issues…build up the resume. There are so many opportunities out there that would better prepare me for my future than just sitting around here wasting time.”
“Wow,” Hailey sighed, not hiding her disappointment. “I didn’t know you felt like you were just wasting time here.”
“Don’t make this about you,” Grant begged.
“Because you’re certainly not, right?” Hailey shot back.
“This is not about us,” Grant insisted. “This is not about me being bored with you or wanting to leave you. This is not your pity party; this is mine.”
Hailey rolled her eyes. “Alright…”
“Babe, I’m not doing either of us any favors if I try to be anyone other than myself,” Grant sighed. “I’m trying to be honest with you, and I am rapidly remembering why I don’t take that approach with many people very often.”
“I like that you’re being honest,” Hailey said sincerely. “It’s just that I’m happy here, and I wish you were too.”
