Jasmine's dark eyes flamed, and she lifted her head slightly. “You should be proud of who you are. How can you walk on this earth as a representative for God if you're ashamed of his work?”
“What do you mean, ‘his work’?”
“Well, he created you, didn't he?”
Mattie knew Jasmine spoke the truth, but she couldn't grasp a sense of who she was. Most of her life she'd only known self-loathing. “It's not so easy to just change my mind.”
“Of course, it isn't, but God will help you to see, if you let him.”
“I can't be like you. I wish I could but—”
“God's not asking you to be like me,” she snapped, sounding almost angry. “You must embrace who you are.” She looked down at herself. “Do you think all the wishing in the world could make me something other than a Negro?”
“No.”
“So, what am I going to do about it? I've got to accept it. There's no other way. And then I live my life the best I can, not being ashamed and not hiding. You've got to think about what it is God wants you to do while you're here on this earth, and your heritage is part of that.” She gripped the bars. “Mattie, you've learned a lot here in Seattle, but what have you taught Seattle about you? About your people?”
Mattie was taken aback. It had never occurred to her to help anyone understand her heritage. She'd spent most of her energy trying to conceal her background. The click of shoes on the tile floors carried through the cellblock.
A police officer stepped up and unlocked the door, then swung it open. “You're free to go, Miss Lawson.”
“I am?” Mattie asked, stepping out. “So you know I'm not Japanese?”
“I don't know nothin'. Just that I'm supposed to release you.” He didn't smile. “Go through that door and turn right. They have your possessions at the desk.”
Stunned, Mattie sputtered, “But what can I do to make sure this doesn't happen again?”
The officer shrugged.
“What if I had some kind of special identification?”
He walked away, acting as if she'd said nothing.
Mattie had no way of knowing that someone else wouldn't turn her in. She would have to live with the worry. Now, eager to be free, she hurried out. After collecting her belongings, she pushed through the station doors and stepped into the fresh air. The sun was shining and felt warm. It was wonderful to be free. It was hard to believe she'd spent less than twenty-four hours locked up. It had seemed much longer.
Linking arms, Jasmine escorted her down the steps. Mattie glanced at her friend and wished she could be like her. Maybe in time, but she doubted she'd ever have that kind of strength. She did feel stronger though. Trying to think confidently, Mattie took long strides as she headed for the bus stop.
Jasmine waited with her. “Remember what I said.”
“I won't forget,” Mattie said, determined to at least give it some thought.
“I'll be thinking about you. Please come and visit me and my sister.”
“I will,” Mattie promised just as her bus rumbled to a stop. With a quick hug, she said, “You take care of yourself. Thank you for being such a good friend.” She stepped onto the bus, found a seat, and waved at Jasmine as the bus pulled away. Lord, help me to be more like her, she prayed, but felt little hope of ever reaching a place where she could happily accept who she was. The scars left by those without eyes to see the truth were deep and her self-loathing and bitterness deeper.
Chapter 18
HIS STOMACH RUMBLING WITH HUNGER, LUKE WALKED INTO THE MESS HALL and headed for the chow line. He'd nearly missed lunch. Only a handful of sailors were still dishing up. Luke grabbed a plate, dropped a spoonful of mashed potatoes on it, and drizzled lumpy gravy over them. He added two slices of ham and a spoon of cooked corn. After grabbing a glass of milk, he headed for a table.
“Hey, Luke, over here,” Barry called.
Luke headed toward his buddy. Setting his tray on the table, he sat across from him. Barry's plate was empty. “It's about time I got some chow,” Luke said. “Feels like I've got a hole in my gut.” He took a bite of potatoes. Talking around the food in his mouth, he asked, “So, why are you still here? I thought you came up more than an hour ago.”
“I did, but I got commandeered along the way. One of the guys was working on a hatch that wouldn't seal and needed some help.” He drained the last of a glass of water. “He just needed someone who knew what to do. Works good now.”
Luke nodded and kept eating.
Barry glanced at his watch. “It's 1440. Why you so late?”
“With so many Nips prowling around, the brass is nervous. I had orders to check all the hoses...again. And I had to do it before I went off duty.”
Barry rested his arms on the table and leaned forward. “To tell you the truth, I'm feeling kind of jumpy myself. We're like sitting ducks out here.”
“I doubt we got anything to worry about. We have good cover. Eleven planes just came in, and they're set to launch another batch.”
Barry eyed the dessert rack. “I'm so edgy I'm not even hungry.” He settled a serious look on Luke. “I think somethin's up. We're in for it. I can feel it. Wouldn't be surprised if we faced off with the Japs, maybe even have a full-scale battle. You know, like at Midway.”
“It's about time. The Japs have been pushin' and pushin'. I'd like to put 'em in their place. If we're gonna win this war, we've got to be more aggressive.”
“We've hit 'em pretty good.”
“Maybe.” Luke took a big drink of milk. “But they've been hitting right back. Them slant eyes have taken the East Indies, Sumatra, Burma, Borneo, Java, and a bunch of places I can't pronounce. And now they're working their way through the Solomon Islands.”
“Why do you think we're here?” Barry leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head. “We'll stop 'em.” He eyed the desserts again. “Maybe I am hungry.” He stood and headed for the stand. After choosing a large piece of chocolate cake, he strolled back to the table and sat. “I'm not about to let anyone take away my little pleasures.” He cut into it with his fork and pushed a bite into his mouth.
Luke grinned. “Didn't think a little thing like a war could keep you from your chocolate.”
Barry chewed with satisfaction. “You got that right.”
