Her words were sharp. Like a knife to the chest. On her own? Like I wouldn’t be there? What was she even saying?
“But if you do want to be in our child’s life, then we will be co-parents. Nothing more.”
My heart sank. No. This was our second chance. It was so clearly fate. A little person, half me and half her, joining this world and changing our lives in the process.
Yet she was acting like this was no big deal.
“I welcome your involvement. I really do. I know this feels very exciting right now, but take some time to really consider this. Whether this is something you want for your life. Forever.”
“I will not miss a single minute,” I said cooly, angry that she would imply I wouldn’t want to know my child. “I’ve waited forty years to become a dad. You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m going to take even a second for granted.”
Her shoulders lowered a fraction, and the crease between her brow eased, as if she believed me.
Good. But despite the excitement, my feelings were deeply hurt. How could she make assumptions like this about me?
I reached across the table and took her hand, cradling it in mine. “This is destiny, Dragonfly. Written in the stars. We will make it work.”
She pulled her hand away. “Please stop with that crap. Stars and fate do not make birth control fail.”
“Then it must be my powerful lumberjack sperm,” I joked.
She rolled her eyes. “Of course your ego loves this.”
“I’m not hating it,” I said, sitting straighter. “But it’s not about ego. This is great news. And if you need me to prove that I’m all-in, then get ready.”
Clasping her hands in front of her, she gave me a succinct nod. It looked like that was the best I’d get at the moment.
I roughed a hand down my face. “So what do we do now?”
“I make an appointment with an ob-gyn. Confirm everything is good. And then I do what I always do, figure things out.”
“Together,” I said firmly. “In fact, I should probably move in, keep an eye on you. Be on call for midnight pickle runs and to rub your swollen feet.”
She threw her head back in what I can only describe as a full-body eye roll. “No fucking way.”
“Why not? Clem and I are great roommates. Aren’t we, girl?”
Clem gave me a bored look.
“I’m only six weeks. Slow down.” She splayed her hands flat on the table. “Please think about what I’ve said. Let the shock of this wear off, and we can talk more in a couple of days.”
With that, she stood and headed for the door, clearly eager to get me out of her house.
“I don’t need to think about it, Chloe. I’m all-in. Every minute of every day for the rest of my life.” But even as I said it, fear and doubt began to creep in. I hadn’t had the best example of a father, and I’d already lost Chloe once. Could I really be what they needed?
“I’m glad you feel that way,” she said, chin lifted. “But I need you to be sure. I will not allow you to abandon this child. You will not leave them behind or withdraw your affections.”
Bile rose in my throat. Abandon? Never. How could she say that? I wanted to rip open my shirt and show her my tattoo. Show her that when I loved, I loved for life.
Anger rolled through me, along with shame and disgust. I had caused this reaction. My own stupidity and hesitation so many years ago. This was the damage I’d done to her.
“Chloe—” I held out my hand.
She shook her head, looking at the door. “I believe that you’re happy. But I will never fully trust you again.”
Those words hit me like an arrow to the chest.
“This baby is the most precious thing in my life,” she said. “And I’ll be damned if I let you disappoint it in any way.”
I was chastened. She wanted me gone, and I wasn’t sure I blamed her. “I will do anything to earn your trust back,” I said softly, stung by a sense of defeat. “And there is nothing I will not do for this child.”
“Please stop.” She sniffled.
She was crying now. Great, I had made things worse.
With an audible swallow, she opened the front door. “I need to be alone.”
Like I told her, I’d do everything I could. And right now, she needed me to leave. So I left, with Clem following me. Once I was in my truck, I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. Shit. How had the best day of my life so quickly turned into one of the worst?
Chapter 20Gus
“Merry, we’re on a mission,” I explained, maneuvering the boat out of the marina. Sam had come through, letting me borrow his boat for the day. Now that his kids were grown, it didn’t get as much use, and I’d promised to help him rebuild his deck as a thanks.
My niece pushed her heart-shaped sunglasses down and squinted at me. “Really? Explain yourself.” She was eleven and far too jaded for her own good. Tween girls were terrifying.
“We’re going to see a girl. I mean a woman.” I cleared my throat. “A friend of mine.”
