He stiffened. “That’s not true.”
“We shouldn’t have gotten married. I was grieving the loss of my mom and clinging to you. You could never have lived up to the ideal in my mind. But I was hurting so badly and worried that I’d never be happy again.”
He shifted and pulled me close. “For what it’s worth, I was thrilled to marry you. And I think the only way we can raise this baby is if we forgive each other and ourselves for the past.”
Tears stung my eyes. Goddamn pregnancy hormones. He was right. So fucking right. Yet I couldn’t speak.
“You need to go to bed.” He stood and offered me his hand. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Clem and I will stay until the power comes back on. Just drink a little more water and get some rest.”
He walked me to bed and set my water glass on the nightstand. Crouching beside the bed, he kissed my forehead. “I am so sorry for everything I’ve done. This baby is a precious gift, and there is nothing I won’t do to make you both happy.”
Chapter 28Chloe
Ifelt like I had been run over by a bus.
I hadn’t been sleeping, and I could barely keep food down. JJ and Karl were tiptoeing around me. The pit of despair was so warm and cozy, making it hard to want to leave. But I had so much to do.
“Get your ass out of bed,” Celine barked, yanking the blankets off me. It was August, but I’d made myself a nice little cocoon.
I threw an arm over my face. “I’m tired.”
I’d spent the past two days in bed, blaming morning sickness. In reality, I was having a nervous breakdown. What was true? What was a lie? For almost my whole adult life, my decisions, my actions, and my plans had been built on a foundation of lies. I’d come back to Lovewell to buy Gus’s company and make his life miserable. To get the kind of satisfaction that would heal these old wounds.
But my life had been flipped upside down. My own father had lied to me, and I’d torn myself up thinking Gus hadn’t loved me. Now, I was developing real, annoying feelings for him.
“Get your ass up. You have shit to do. And you’re scaring the children.”
I groaned. “JJ and Karl are not children.”
“Don’t you have an arson investigation to deal with?”
I picked my head up. “Yes,” I huffed. “And a company to run, and I have horrible split ends. Oh, and I need to confront my father and determine whether he conspired to keep me away from the love of my life twenty years ago. You know, nothing major.”
“Great. See? You have quite the to-do list to tackle. I can help with the split ends. I’ll call the salon and get you an appointment.”
Stomach lurching, I touched my hair. It was my pride and joy, and I didn’t trust just anyone with it.
“Becca is fantastic,” she said, already typing away on her phone, as if reading my mind. “Now get in the shower.”
Becca. Why was that name familiar? As I got showered and dressed, I mulled it over but came up blank.
Celine forced me into my car and sent me on the way. Only a few minutes later, I pulled up in front of a very cute looking salon. The Chop Shop was on Main Street, close to the diner and the post office, and was, from the outside, far trendier than I had expected for Northern Maine.
Inside, I was greeted by a tall woman with blue-streaked hair, a sleeve of tattoos, and the kind of cool punk-rock vibe that screamed don’t fuck with me.
She was pleasant and professional, asking thoughtful questions about my vision for my hair. Then she snapped a cape around my neck and started to work.
“I’m impressed you came in here,” she said. “I’ve been dying to meet you. The famous Chloe who stole Gus’s heart.”
I locked eyes with her in the mirror, my heart suddenly thundering. Oh, yes. Becca had been Gus’s casual hookup friend. Karl had heard a rumor at the gym, and while I had brushed it off at the time, the way she was looking at me confirmed it all.
What a sight I was: puffy eyes, no makeup, and gaping at her like a damn fish.
While she was cool and edgy, I was an uptight girlie girl. Was this the kind of woman Gus was normally attracted to?
And why was I spiraling? I had way more pressing concerns, and jealousy was not rational.
“You’re not going to fuck up my hair, are you?” I asked after an excruciatingly awkward silence.
Becca froze and blinked at my reflection, then burst into laughter. “I should just for that comment. Please.” She waved a hand. “I’m a pro.”
“I’m sorry,” I stumbled, my brain and mouth not coordinating. How could I say something like that out loud?
“Okay.” She took a step back and put down the scissors. Then she spun my chair so we were facing one another. “Gus and I hung out casually. I’m a single mom trying to make my way in a new town. And I’m still desperately in love with my late husband.”
“Oh shit.” My stomach sank. God, I was such an asshole. “I’m so sorry.”
She nodded once, her expression neutral. “Gus has been a friend, a support, and yes, a hookup. But that’s it.”
My ears were hearing that she wasn’t a threat, but even so, my heart was still pounding in my chest.
Hookup? The word stuck in my head, and suddenly, my nausea returned. The thought of him being with anyone but me made me want to retch. I needed to get a hold of myself.
“Can I cut your hair now?” she asked. “I do have other appointments today.”
With a deep, cleansing breath, I nodded and smiled, calculating the massive tip I’d have to leave her to atone for my unhinged behavior.
