“My family is fractured and dysfunctional. And you and me? Yeah, things are great now, but we don’t have the best track record. Not to mention the circumstances that led to this baby were fucked up. We had hate sex after twenty years of mutual resentment. God, it’s the stuff Hallmark movies are made of.
“I own a distressed lumber company under the daily scrutiny of the FBI. I’ve got creepy men following me around, arsons targeting my business, burglars, and incomplete financials. Oh, and then there’s my corporate job, which is in Seattle, working with partners who want me to get my ass back to making them money instead of babysitting this shitshow.”
I took a breath, hiccupping but determined to keep going.
Gus grabbed my arm. “Creepy men? What are you talking about?”
“It might be nothing,” I hedged, waving him off.
He wasn’t having it. His grip tightened, and he asked again. “What the hell do you mean by creepy men?”
With a resigned sigh, I filled him in on the interaction in Heartsborough last week and the weird comments at the lumberjack competition back in August.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “How could you not tell me?”
“I have a lot on my plate,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Chloe, if scary criminals are stalking and threatening you, don’t you think I have a right to know?”
Of course he’d overreact. “There have been no explicit threats,” I clarified, lifting my chin.
He threw his hands up. “Jesus, do you hear yourself? This is what I’m talking about. Letting me in, telling me things. You’re carrying our child.”
My stomach twisted. “So it’s about the baby.”
“It’s about everyone. I’m sorry for being so desperate to keep the people I love safe.” He gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. “I fucking love you. And I love our child.”
There it was again. A declaration of love. I could say it back right now and defuse this argument, but it would be wrong to use it like a shield.
“I’m handling it,” I said, annoyed with myself for pulling my walls up like this. “Why are you blowing this out of proportion?”
He faced me full-on. Even in the moonlight, the hurt and anger in his eyes were obvious. “We’re just talking about this. God, Chloe. Can’t you see that it’s killing me to be kept at arm’s length like this? I’m sorry for not trying harder back then to show you how much I loved you. But I’m in therapy now, improving myself so that it never happens again. Can you just please let me be your partner?”
I opened my mouth, but rather than words, all that came out was a sob. He was right. Of course he was. I was broken and jaded and fucking all of this up. I couldn’t make up my mind about anything, and my indecisiveness was hurting Gus and the relationship we were trying to build.
So I cried. Because I had nothing to say for myself.
Gus pulled me close, kissing the top of my head. “Let’s go pack a bag,” he murmured. “Come to my house. Clem and I will spoil you, and we can talk more in the morning.”
“I should be alone,” I hiccupped, trying to pull back. “I need to think.”
“No,” he said, holding me tighter. “Not after what you just told me. I want to move in. Or you can move in with me. I’m okay either way. But I need you safe.”
I didn’t have the energy to fight. I also had no solution for him. No grand plan that would fix all our problems, erase the past, and make the future clear and manageable. So I just nodded, went inside, and got my toothbrush.
Chapter 33Gus
“Ican’t believe he pulled it off.” I threw my arm around Chloe’s shoulders as we wandered through the festival with Jude, Adele, and Finn, who was wearing baby Thor in a fancy baby wrap, his long hair down around his shoulders. Merry trailed behind us, totally embarrassed by all the women swooning over her dad.
I’d slipped her twenty dollars for junk food to help ease the pain her parents inflicted on her.
The three-day weekend festival was in full swing, and as the sun began to set, the air grew chilly. We’d just left the outdoor concert, and tomorrow, the town would show up again, ready for carnival games and the charity dunk tank.
We’d all signed up for shifts. I was not looking forward to being dunked, especially as it was mid-September and the temperatures were rapidly dropping. But Cole had asked, and we’d all agreed. I’d be sure to soak every one of my brothers. That would certainly make it all worth it.
Chloe was very excited about this development and had invited the entire Hebert Timber team and offered a cash prize to anyone who successfully dunked me.
The crowds were even bigger than we’d hoped for. The people who’d traveled from other states to visit the festival were a testament to how hard Cole had worked. Every day, he was more like his old self. He hadn’t regained his hockey swagger, but the slump in his shoulders he’d been walking around with since his injury was slowly disappearing.
I was proud of him.
Every local business was being advertised, and Finn’s booth, where he’d been showing footage of his aerial tours, was a big hit. The entire town was energized and putting its best foot forward. The air felt different. Like change was coming, and after decades of loss, life here was finally on the verge of improving.
Eventually, Merry went home with her mom and stepdad, and Chloe and I made our way to the beer garden. Cascade, a brewery out of Portland, had sponsored it, which was a huge win for Cole. People were going nuts trying the Lovewell lager they had specially brewed for the occasion. There were rumors flying that they were interested in opening a taproom up here. It warmed my chest just thinking about so many people being enthusiastic about my hometown.
The brewery had set up a tent with bars and an outdoor area with lights, picnic tables, and cornhole.
As we sat, enjoying the live music, I put my arm around Chloe, who was drinking iced tea, and toasted Owen, who had come up to support Cole. He’d come a long way since the spring, when he vowed never to return to town. After a few months here, helping get Hebert Timber sold, he’d returned to Boston, but he and Lila were now talking about buying a place up here for weekend trips.
“Who’s that?” JJ asked, eyeing Lila and a few of her friends. Her normal bored affect was gone, and she seemed, dare I say, excited. I’d been working closely with her for months, and this was the most interest she’d shown in anything aside from sapling regeneration.
“That’s my fiancée, Lila,” Owen said.
Without looking at him, she said, “Not her. The tall one.”
Chloe elbowed me in the ribs, her eyes bulging. “Come on, boys. Introduce us.”
