When I peeked up at him, the damn moose was still staring at me.
That’s when I lost it. Kicking, screaming, and crying.
“What the fuck?” I yelled. I needed to go, dammit.
I rolled down the window. It was probably a terrible idea, but I wasn’t exactly in my right mind. “Why is everything such a goddamn mess?” I shouted into the night. “Why can’t I get anything right? All I do is vomit and worry and panic about everything.”
I punched my steering wheel once, then again. Fuck, why couldn’t I get it together? What was wrong with me?
My sister needed me, yet here I was, being held hostage by a fucking moose.
“Everything is shit,” I screamed at him.
He was unmoved by my breakdown. Asshole.
The tears fell unchecked as I slumped back against the seat. Control felt so far out of reach. I didn’t have time for a roadside nervous breakdown. Celine needed me. But this asshole moose was still in the goddamn way, judging me.
What the hell was I supposed to do now? Rage and disappointment and defeat swirling, I grabbed my phone and dialed Gus.
“Thank God. I’ve been so worried.” His tone was laced with panic.
Dammit. My heart sank. In my haste to get to Celine, I hadn’t thought about how scary it would be for him when he realized I’d disappeared.
Gus was so solid and trusting, yet I kept resisting the urge to lean on him. Why? We were having a child together, and despite our complicated past, I loved him.
And then the realization hit me.
I was the problem.
I was the asshole.
He’d given me no reason not to trust him. No reason to question his commitment to me or this child. Yet I still kept him at arm’s length and refused to lean on him. I was carrying all my old baggage into this fresh start. Only this time, I wasn’t just hurting myself, but potentially my child too.
Time to woman up.
“I need your help,” I said through my tears.
“Anything. Where are you?”
I blew out a breath, willing myself to calm down. “I’m on Route 16. Celine called. Donny went after Julian, and she intervened.”
“Fuck.”
“I’m on my way. He left, but he might come back.”
“You’re alone? What are you going to do?”
He was right. My showing up could only anger him more and make things worse.
“The police are there. And she needs me.”
“I’m on my way. Promise you won’t do anything dangerous.” He was so calm and clearheaded. The complete opposite of my blubbering mess.
“I’m scared,” I admitted. “About everything.”
“I know, Dragonfly. But together, there’s no problem we can’t solve. Just stay safe.”
“I love you.” The second the words were out of my mouth, I hung up. Great, now I’d just dropped the I love you bomb in the most weird, traumatic way.
And the cherry on top of the shit sundae? The moose was still in the middle of the road, blocking my way. My people needed me.
Fuck it.
I opened the door and stepped out of the car.
“Get out of the fucking way!” I screamed, one hand fisted in the air like a maniac. “My sister needs me, so you best move your giant moose ass before I run you off the road.”
He lifted his head, probably preparing to charge me. Dammit, I was going to die with the shame of being a born-and-bred Mainer who decided to yell at a moose on a dark road. Statues would be erected to warn children of my stupidity.
“You think you’re all big and tough,” I yelled, kicking one of my tires. “If you don’t get out of my way, I’m going to come back tomorrow with the biggest crossbow I can find and shoot an arrow straight up your ass!”
I was insane. It was official. But I was overrun with fear and anger, and there was no stopping it. Besides, I was too scared to properly assess the risk of my actions.
Just as I was sucking in a deep breath, ready to rage again, the damn thing turned and fucking moseyed his way toward the edge of the woods. Taking his sweet time, but still moving.
Good.
It was about time someone listened to me.
