“Benedict!” Livinia gasped in pleasure as hot sensations filled her body. The friction burning between her thighs was almost unbearable as she began to move beneath his touch.
Shifting his hand so that his thumb was tightly pressed against the path of moisture that had begun to show through her dress, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, asking her once again if she wanted him to stop.
“No …” was all she could utter again as she placed her hands on either side of his face and drew him in for a passionate kiss. Their tongues mingled with each other in the same rhythm that his thumb moved between her thighs. She wanted more of him; she wanted to feel his flesh against hers as the pleasure he was creating in her core grew with a burning urgency.
Snaking her fingers down his chest and abdomen, she hooked the bottom of his shirt and lifted it over his head. His chest came into view as he discarded his shirt to the side and bent over to kiss her neck, all the while keeping his thumb between her thighs.
Livinia felt as if her body were about to burst as he kissed a path down her neck, nibbling and licking the tender flesh. Without thinking, she placed her arms around his neck and rolled over as he allowed her to take the lead. Positioning herself on top of him, with her thighs on either side of his, she looked down at him with her lips parted, soft breaths of pleasure permeating the air.
A hunger between them burned the air with more than just the heat from the fire.
Reaching up, Benedict grasped her chest in both his hands, cupping the fullness of her breasts in his palms. The wonderful sensation of his hands moving her nipples with every squeeze had her moaning with pleasure as he leaned back and drank in the fulfillment of her wildest dreams.
The gentle movements of her hips had Benedict growling with pleasure as he whispered her name in a husky tone. “Livinia …”
Her name sounded so sweet on his lips that Livinia leaned forward and looked into his eyes, allowing her hand to trace a path over his chest.
The vulnerability mixed with lust that she found in his gaze made her want him even more. His response of moving his hands up her thighs beneath her dress let her know that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
Reaching up for the strings that tied her night dress over her chest, Benedict slowly undid them and pulled the fabric apart until her firm breasts came into view. The hunger in his eyes as he looked at her breasts urged her on as she reached out and touched his face.
Moving swiftly, Benedict flipped her onto her back and lowered her head to her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth before lowering his body onto hers.
The warm sensation of his tongue flicking over her nipple was almost more than she could bear. She lay her head back and moaned in ecstasy as he moved his mouth from one breast to the other.
Moving her dress up her thigh, he gently exposed her flesh as he lifted his weight off of her.
A rush of disappointment and confusion filled her body as Benedict suddenly came up straight, and climbing off the bed, he took a step back.
Livinia sat up straight and covered her breasts with the dress before giving him a questioning look. Her heart was beating out of fear now that the heat of the moment was beginning to wear off.
Had he been with Lady Eleanor the way he had just caressed her body? Was it the memory of her kisses that had made him stop? Her mind filled with anguished thoughts that tore through her chest like a sharpened knife.
“We can’t do this,” he whispered under his breath, his chest heaving with every laboured breath. A light sheen of sweat had broken out on his skin, glistening in the dim light of the dying fire.
“I don’t understand …” Livinia felt her eyes welling with tears of embarrassment and fear. She had wanted to give herself to him, mind, body, and soul.
“I can’t do this to you, not like this. Please leave before I …” His voice trailed off as he shut his eyes and turned his face away from her.
Heat flooded her cheeks as Livinia shifted off the edge of the bed. She had been so caught up in the heat of the moment that she hadn’t considered what they were both about to do.
I was about to give myself to him.
The unwelcome thought brought a rush of embarrassment to her cheeks as she gathered her gown from the floor and began to make her way towards the door.
Benedict stopped her with his hand on her wrist. “Livinia, it’s not that I don’t want to. I want you very much, we just …” The look on his face depicted the battle raging in his mind.
“Things between us just can’t be because of our stations in life.” She finished the sentence for him before heading towards the door with her gown pressed firmly against her chest.
Stepping into the hallway, Livinia leaned against the door after shutting it firmly behind her back. Was she really about to give herself to a man that she’d only known for less than a month? The last moment of clarity she could recall was reaching up to his face before both of them had been overcome by their feelings of desire.
Oh, Lord.
She reached up and held her throat as her thoughts came back to her with shocking clarity.
She wanted to respond and tell him that she didn’t care if they couldn’t be together as husband and wife. She would give herself to him if it meant she got to spend the rest of her life in his bed.
Tears of confusion began to fall down her cheeks as she made her way back to her chambers. Not only was she willing to compromise her position for him, but she was also willing to give up her virtue.
I think I might actually love him.
She hurried toward her chambers as hot tears of realization ran down her face. Reaching the door, she flung it closed behind her and fell on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. How had things come to this? The heat from his body had barely left her skin, and she was alone in her chambers, crying over a love that could never be.
Things seemed dreary enough now, but would she still have a position in the morning?
She turned her face to the full moon hanging in the sky just beyond her window.
What did he want to say before he changed his mind?
Hope sprung up in her chest as she recalled the anguish on his face when he’d turned her away. Had he wanted to say that he cared for her, but they just couldn’t be together because of their positions? Or had he wanted to tell her she wasn’t the one who lived in his heart?
The pain of not knowing the truth made her turn her face into her pillow and sob until the cruel reality of her situation turned into sweet dreams of Benedict kissing her body.
Chapter 21
Benedict stared into the fire, running his hand over his chin. All the hearths were now lit when rooms were in use since the weather had changed. He’d given in to the fact that Theodora and Livinia needed a warm room to carry out the lessons.
Yet another thing that has changed.
