HUNTING MEANING 
(STEP 3) “What am I doing to reduce, avoid, or control unwanted mental content?”
(STEP 4) “What am I doing or could be doing to chase my values?”
The essence of the Dashboard is a recognition of two basic directions toward which you can move when dealing with an emotionally challenging event. When moving in the direction of Hunting Meaning, you remind yourself of your purpose in dissenting, deviating, or defying the status quo. Maybe you’re seeking social change. Maybe you want to feel a sense of autonomy or individuality. Maybe you’re seeking to innovate. Whatever it is, you’re pursuing goals that you find personally meaningful and important enough to merit a short-term sacrifice. When moving in the other direction to Escape Pain, you acknowledge the demanding strain put on you, and the sense of urgency to exert control over whatever negative thoughts and feelings appear. Each direction corresponds with two questions to ask yourself and, in turn, exercises to help improve your ability to self-regulate effectively. By sharpening your ability to think through these questions, you will become more flexible in the face of hardship. Psychological flexibility provides the seeds that produce resilience. Let’s run through the four steps one by one.
Step 1: “What and who is important to me?” (Remind Yourself of the Reason for Dissenting)
Clarity about your mission and its moral basis keeps you grounded, allowing you to absorb a higher level of pain than otherwise. If you know what you’re trying to accomplish, harsh criticism by others won’t matter so much, and you’re more liable to confidently go your own way (as one fascinating study found, people with a greater sense of purpose reacted less to the number of “likes” received after posting selfies on social media). It’s easier to defend a cause if you’re clear on your mission, even when your body is disrupted by panic attack symptoms (rapid pounding heart rate, trembling or shaking, tightness in your throat, and so on) or when your mind tells you to fear being taunted or when there are reasonable worries about losing a job. Conversely, if you’re rudderless or unanchored in your actions, ignorant of your core beliefs, you might find it harder to leverage your strengths, skills, and allies to meet the demands of a difficult situation.
To help yourself through hardship and inspire moral courage, ask yourself why you rebelled in the first place. Remind yourself of the beliefs that set your moral compass. Beliefs that prompted you to step up and dissent. “I got into fighting sexual abuse because I was sick of seeing women, especially children, go through all of that pain, with oftentimes no conviction of the culprit,” Goddard clarified. She reflected on her desire for justice, her belief that survivors needed a voice, her desire to live in a country where women and men receive equal protection under the law. It was personal. “I knew I had to reveal that I had been sexually assaulted myself. I was sick of it being some big secret, and still am to this day. It was very painful to re-live my past, but it was so beneficial for so many rape victims.” Making your own pain a springboard to help others can be personally healing and meaningful. She sought to make society better for other women. Armed with the underlying motivations behind her purpose, Goddard could steel herself in difficult moments by reflecting on what she was trying to accomplish in taking on the status quo.
Take out a blank sheet of paper and make lists of the following: (1) the people and things that are most important to you; (2) details about your current purpose in life (for Goddard, it was helping rape survivors receive dignified treatment and justice); and (3) the core values that underlie your purpose. Spend some time and really think about these lists. Write down as much as you can. Keep your answers nearby as a talisman to remind you of what you uncovered. A statement or manifesto in your wallet or on the wallpaper of your smartphone might work, something that evokes why principled insubordination is worth the pain. The following exercises will spur your thinking and help you populate the three lists. Clarifying What and Who Is Important
1. Who are the people you would most like to thank? Think hard about how they helped you, how they served as a role model, and what parts of your identity they reinforced.
2. Who is the wisest person you know? Think hard about what is it that you admire and seek to emulate.
3. What do you think is your main purpose in life?
4. What makes you strong? Think about the stack of capacities that together allow you to obtain excellent results on a regular basis, whether when working, socializing, playing, or living. Everyone has a profile of strengths. Know yours. Own it.
5. If with a wave of a magic wand all of your insecurities disappeared, what would you be doing differently?
6. If you had unlimited money, what would you be doing differently?
7. Imagine you could achieve anything—what would it be and why?
8. At the end of your life, what do you want to be remembered for? Value Trade-Offs to Know Yourself
1. Which of these would be most difficult for you to accept?
_____ the death of a parent?
_____ the death of a sibling?
_____ the death of a spouse?
2. Which would you prefer to give up if you had to?
_____ economic freedom
_____ religious freedom
_____ political freedom
3. Which would you least like to be?
_____ a rifleman firing point-blank at the charging enemy
_____ a bomber on a plane dropping napalm on an enemy village
_____ publicly branded a coward by your own community
4. Which would you least like to be?
_____ poor
_____ sick
_____ disfigured
5. Which would you prefer?
_____ a short, impactful life with a peaceful death
_____ a long, non-impactful life with a peaceful death
_____ a long, impactful life with a slow and painful death
6. Which would be the most painful way to spend the rest of your days?
_____ being unable to remember anything
_____ being unable to forget anything
_____ reliving only a single memory over and over again
