more curious and want to take more risks: Brooke C. Feeney and Nancy L. Collins, “A New Look at Social Support: A Theoretical Perspective on Thriving through Relationships,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 19, no. 2 (2015): 113–47; Shelly L. Gable and Harry T. Reis, “Good News! Capitalizing on Positive Events in an Interpersonal Context,” in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, vol. 42, ed. Mark Zanna (Cambridge, UK: Academic Press, 2010), 195–257; Harry T. Reis, “The Interpersonal Process Model of Intimacy: Maintaining Intimacy Through Self-Disclosure and Responsiveness” in Foundations for Couples’ Therapy: Research for the Real World, ed. J. Fitzgerald (New York: Routledge, 2017), 216–25.
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If they feel uncomfortable: Excerpted from my prior writings on this topic: Todd B. Kashdan, “Six Ways for Parents to Cultivate Strong, Curious, Creative Children,” Huffington Post, September 3, 2009, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/six-ways-for-parents-to-c_b_249031.
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active engagement and an experience of joy: Deena Skolnick Weisberg, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, “Guided Play: Where Curricular Goals Meet a Playful Pedagogy,” Mind, Brain, and Education 7, no. 2 (2013): 104–12.
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youth explore and discover best when they are in control: Consider an example of what happens when learning is free of constraints such as adult directions and expectations: Aiyana K. Willard et al., “Explain This, Explore That: A Study of Parent–Child Interaction in a Children’s Museum,” Child Development 90, no. 5 (2019): e598—e617. Parents of four- to six-year-olds received minimal instructions on how to guide their child’s learning through a gear machine exhibit at a local museum. Fifteen gears of different sizes sat disassembled on a table. Participants had to attach the gears to a machine in different ways so that different functions would start up. Some parents received a single index card with instructions for controlling the learning experience, such as “Try asking them to explain how the gears work,” “Ask them to tell you about the gears or to describe what happens when they interact with the gears in different ways.” Other parents received a single index card with instructions for encouraging curious exploration, such as “Ask them to try new things with the gears. Urge them to interact with the gears in different ways. Suggest that they figure out how the gears work, or what will happen when a gear moves. Encourage them to experiment with how the gears work.” Researchers surreptitiously observed the kids and parents, documenting behavior and conversation. When exploration was encouraged, children spent more time asking questions, connecting gears to the machines, and troubleshooting when gears would not spin or drifted apart, and parents offered more encouragement and spent less time telling them what to do. When parent control was encouraged, in contrast, kids spent six times as much time talking about machines and parents spent four times as much time troubleshooting ways to get the machine to operate. Essentially, parents took over the discovery and problem-solving portion of the exhibit. Most important, overbearing parental behavior did not translate into discernible educational gains: kids in both conditions did equally well in remembering what they had learned and in generalizing their understanding of how gears work when re-creating a brand-new machine in another room. See Claire Cook, Noah D. Goodman, and Laura E. Schulz, “Where Science Starts: Spontaneous Experiments in Preschoolers’ Exploratory Play,” Cognition 120, no. 3 (2011): 341–49; Daniel L. Schwartz et al., “Practicing versus Inventing with Contrasting Cases: The Effects of Telling First on Learning and Transfer,” Journal of Educational Psychology 103, no. 4 (2011): 759–75; David Sobel and Jessica Sommerville, “The Importance of Discovery in Children’s Causal Learning from Interventions,” Frontiers in Psychology 1 (2010): 176. For a review, see Tamara Spiewak Toub et al., “Guided Play: A Solution to the Play versus Discovery Learning Dichotomy,” in Evolutionary Perspectives on Education and Child Development, ed. David C. Geary and Daniel B. Berch (New York: Springer, 2016), 117–41.
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explain it to a peer: David Duran, “Learning-by-Teaching: Evidence and Implications as a Pedagogical Mechanism,” Innovations in Education and Teaching International 54, no. 5 (2017): 476–84; Logan Fiorella and Richard E. Mayer, “Eight Ways to Promote Generative Learning,” Educational Psychology Review 28, no. 4 (2016): 717–41; Logan Fiorella and Richard E. Mayer, “The Relative Benefits of Learning by Teaching and Teaching Expectancy,” Contemporary Educational Psychology 38, no. 4 (2013): 281–88.
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What Adults Can Say and Do: Researchers found that the adult behaviors on this list are the most strongly associated with children and adolescents feeling autonomous during a learning activity. These behaviors also produced youth who are more curious, attentive, and persistent during a learning activity, and who devote more effort, enjoy themselves, and boost performance. See Johnmarshall Reeve and Hyungshim Jang, “What Teachers Say and Do to Support Students’ Autonomy during a Learning Activity,” Journal of Educational Psychology 98, no. 1 (2006): 209–18. Adults can be effectively trained to drop their control agenda and support independent thinkers and doers. See Johnmarshall Reeve, “Autonomy Support as an Interpersonal Motivating Style: Is It Teachable?,” Contemporary Educational Psychology 23, no. 3 (1998): 312–30.
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Six Questions That Encourage Kids: The questions are modified, developmentally appropriate variants of the nine “tools for skeptical thinking” in chapter 12 “The Fine Art of Baloney Detection” of Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark (New York: Random House, 1995).
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Be wary when people start with the conclusion they want: Steven J. Frenda et al., “False Memories of Fabricated Political Events,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 49, no. 2 (2013): 280–86.
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the process of scientific discovery: Yannis Hadzigeorgiou and Vassilios Garganourakis, “Using Nikola Tesla’s Story and His Experiments as Presented in the Film ‘The Prestige’ to Promote Scientific Inquiry: A Report of an Action Research Project,” Interchange 41 no. 4 (2010): 363–78; Yannis Hadzigeorgiou, Stephen Klassen, and Cathrine Froese Klassen, “Encouraging a ‘Romantic Understanding’ of Science: The Effect of the Nikola Tesla Story,” Science & Education 21 no. 8 (2012): 1111–38.
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Both girls and boys showed a greater appreciation: Hadzigeorgiou, Klassen, and Klassen, “Encouraging a ‘Romantic Understanding’ of Science.”
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promoted psychological strengths: Katherine Perrotta, “Pedagogical Conditions That Promote Historical Empathy with ‘the Elizabeth Jennings Project,’ ” Social Studies Research and Practice 13, no. 2 (2018): 129–46.
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it isn’t just physical bravery: Shane J. Lopez et al., “Folk Conceptualizations of Courage,” in Psychology of Courage: Modern Research on an Ancient Virtue, ed. Cynthia L. S. Pury and Shane J. Lopez (Washington, DC: APA Press, 2010), 23–45; Christopher R. Rate, “Implicit Theories of Courage,” Journal of Positive Psychology 2, no. 2 (2007): 80–98.
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they displaypersonal courage: Cynthia L. S. Pury, Robin M. Kowalski, and Jana Spearman, “Distinctions between General and Personal Courage,” Journal of Positive Psychology 2, no. 2 (2007): 99–114.
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The defining quality of courage: Stanley J. Rachman, “Fear and Courage,” Behavior Therapy 15, no. 1 (1984): 109–20; Cooper R. Woodard and Cynthia L. S. Pury, “The Construct of Courage: Categorization and Measurement,” Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research 59, no. 2 (2007): 135–47.
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there are two ways of being courageous: The formula listed along with other insights can be found in this underappreciated gem: Robert Biswas-Diener, The Courage Quotient: How Science Can Make You Braver (New York: John Wiley, 2012). As for the denominator, fear is only one mental obstacle that inhibits us from speaking out or standing up for a worthwhile reason. Other mental obstacles include depleted mental or physical energy, a sense of doubt, a lack of awareness, self-centeredness, and insufficient concern about others. This incomplete list of mental obstacles influences our perception of risk and danger. Addressing them can empower us to take deliberate action despite high perceived risk and fearful feelings.
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a fear of retaliation: James A. Dungan, Liane Young, and Adam Waytz, “The Power of Moral Concerns in Predicting Whistleblowing Decisions,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 85 (2019): 103848.
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why youth do not report bullying: Wanda Cassidy, Margaret Jackson, and Karen N. Brown, “Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones, but How Can Pixels Hurt Me? Students’ Experiences with Cyber-Bullying,” School Psychology International 30, no. 4 (2009): 383–402.
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series of small choices: Harris, ACT Made Simple.
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think of themselves as heroes in waiting: Elisabeth K. Heiner, “Fostering Heroism in Fourth- and Fifth-Grade Students,” Journal of Humanistic Psychology 59, no. 4 (2019): 596–616.
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five factors that increase the odds of taking action: Peter Fischer et al., “The Bystander-Effect: A Meta-Analytic Review on Bystander Intervention in Dangerous and Non-Dangerous Emergencies,” Psychological Bulletin 137, no. 4 (2011): 517–37.
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