CHAPTER 10: RAISING INSUBORDINATE KIDS
high school sophomore Hannah Watters: Madeline Holcombe, “Georgia Student Who Posted Photo of a Crowded School Hallway and Called It ‘Good and Necessary Trouble’ Is No Longer Suspended, Her Mom Says,” CNN, August 7, 2020, https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/07/us/georgia-teen-photo-crowded-school-hallway-trnd/index.html.
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The school had “ignorantly opened back up”: Lauren Strapagiel, “Two Students Say They Were Suspended from Their Georgia High School for Posting Photos of Crowded Hallways,” Buzzfeed News, August 6, 2020, https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/laurenstrapagiel/north-paulding-high-school-suspensions-for-hallway-photos.
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“I was concerned for the safety of everyone”: Holcombe, “Georgia Student.”
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the superintendent acknowledged: Holcombe, “Georgia Student.”
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train youth to disagree, defy, and deviate: On the parenting wish list, we want kids to be happy, intelligent, physically healthy, and functionally independent, with a wide range of virtues. I want to add the oft-forgotten member of the list: staying strong and committed when in a minority position. We want kids to be motivated to make their lives—and the lives of those around them—better. Conformity has its place when groups and society are working well. There is a time and place, however, for the spirit of dissent.
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Setting high standards and regularly affirming students’ potential: For a review, see Geoffrey L. Cohen and David K. Sherman, “The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention,” Annual Review of Psychology 65 (2014): 333–71. For a conceptual model, see Gregory M. Walton and Timothy D. Wilson, “Wise Interventions: Psychological Remedies for Social and Personal Problems,” Psychological Review 125, no. 5 (2018): 617–55. For an example of an effective performance-enhancing intervention, see David Scott Yeager et al., “Breaking the Cycle of Mistrust: Wise Interventions to Provide Critical Feedback across the Racial Divide,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 2 (2014): 804–24.
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“belonging uncertainty”: Gregory M. Walton and Geoffrey L. Cohen, “A Question of Belonging: Race, Social Fit, and Achievement,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 92, no. 1 (2007): 82–96.
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Constantly gauging whether you fit in: Mark R. Leary and Katrina P. Jongman-Sereno, “Social Anxiety as an Early Warning System: A Refinement and Extension of the Self-Presentation Theory of Social Anxiety,” in From Social Anxiety to Social Phobia: Multiple Perspectives, ed. Stefan G. Hofmann and Patricia Marten DiBartolo (Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2001), 579–97; Mark R. Leary, “Sociometer Theory,” in Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology, ed. Paul A. Van Lange, Arie M. Kruglanski, and E. Tory Higgins (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2012), 141–59.
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let them hear from kids: Gregory M. Walton and Shane T. Brady, “The Social-Belonging Intervention,” in Handbook of Wise Interventions: How Social Psychology Can Help People Change, ed. Gregory M. Walton and Alia J. Crum (New York: Guilford Press, 2020).
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Lowering standards: Roy F. Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?,” Psychological Science in the Public Interest 4, no. 1 (2003): 1–44.
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“I am not in control”: From the author’s multiple interviews with Mark Murphy in 2019–2020 while working with him as a research coordinator for GripTape.
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an invitation to start a learning journey: Because some youth are stumped trying to articulate their thoughts in writing, there is an option to submit videos as an alternative. Interviews with prior youth in the program (not adults) allow applicants another opportunity to express themselves in the most optimal manner.
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GripTape is agnostic toward content: Judith M. Harackiewicz, Jessi L. Smith, and Stacy J. Priniski, “Interest Matters: The Importance of Promoting Interest in Education,” Policy Insights from the Behavioral and Brain Sciences 3, no. 2 (2016): 220–27; Chris S. Hulleman et al., “Task Values, Achievement Goals, and Interest: An Integrative Analysis,” Journal of Educational Psychology 100, no. 2 (2008): 398–416; Jennifer Teramoto Pedrotti, Lisa M. Edwards, and Shane J. Lopez, “Promoting Hope: Suggestions for School Counselors,” Professional School Counseling 12, no. 2 (2008): 100–107.
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GripTape’s methodology is extremely effective: Maria Avetria et al., “In the Driver’s Seat: Learning Report,” GripTape, Youth Driving Learning, December 2018, New York, NY, https://griptape.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/2018-Learning-Report.pdf. The report is based on surveys and interviews with 450 youth (and their parents) from thirty states:
91 percent of youth said, “the experience changed the way they will approach learning in the future.”
89 percent of youth strongly agreed that, “participating in the GripTape Challenge helped me discover a sense of purpose or direction in my life.”
Youth with low grades (Cs and Ds) and from socially disadvantaged environments were just as likely to complete the ten-week Learning Challenge as youth with high grades (As and Bs).
98 percent of youth strongly said they “know more about their own areas of strength and where they need to keep learning or improving.”
97 percent of youth “were more confident they could get better at challenging things if they work hard.”
81 percent recruited friends and peers to apply to the Learning Challenge.
A single intervention offers teenagers greater awareness of their strengths, a mindset of curiosity and intellectual humility, and a lifelong learning mentality, while also helping them to discover a sense of purpose in life. Based on interviews six months to two years after the Learning Challenge ended, 91 percent always or frequently assessed the quality of their work and made improvements if needed, and 89 percent always or frequently adjusted their plans or goals based on their learnings or experiences. The teenagers gained agency and showed evidence of responding to feedback and setbacks with open-mindedness. The changes are not short term.
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when others let us feel safe to be ourselves: Andrew J. Elliot and Harry T. Reis, “Attachment and Exploration in Adulthood,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 85, no. 2 (2003): 317–31; Jeffrey D. Green and W. Keith Campbell, “Attachment and Exploration in Adults: Chronic and Contextual Accessibility,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 26, no. 4 (2000): 452–61; Mario Mikulincer, “Adult Attachment Style and Information Processing: Individual Differences in Curiosity and Cognitive Closure,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 72, no. 5 (1997): 1217–30.
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what we share becomes more interesting and meaningful: Evan M. Kleiman et al., “Perceived Responsiveness during an Initial Social Interaction with a Stranger Predicts a Positive Memory Bias One Week Later,” Cognition and Emotion 29, no. 2 (2015): 332–41; Samuel S. Monfort et al., “Capitalizing on the Success of Romantic Partners: A Laboratory Investigation on Subjective, Facial, and Physiological Emotional Processing,” Personality and Individual Differences 68 (2014): 149–53.
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