“It didn’t go with my dress.”
His lips twitched, and he blinked, slowly enough that I thought he might fall asleep where he stood. Taking it as a sign of his weakening, I said, “Let’s go inside.”
I regretted the words as his expression hardened in cold marble. He let go of me, retreating a step. “You go.”
I planted my hands on my hips, fighting down my shiver. “Oh, come on. You’re being ridiculous. You can’t fly like this. You don’t really think I’m going to let you, do you? You’re drunk! What if you fell to your death?”
Idris avoided my glare, staring down at the dark grass. He seemed smaller, somehow. “Please… just leave, Aliza.”
Gone was all the music of his voice. It flatlined, dull and hollow, not the bored tones he usually reserved for me, but something worse, something that had my stomach clenching with oily dread.
The cold air twisted around me, stealing the last warmth from my body. “Idris? Are you okay?”
For a moment, I thought he would ignore me, but then he lifted his eyes. Bleak, desolate eyes, utterly devoid of the spark I’d seen earlier. I gulped. Pansy had looked at me like that at her mother’s funeral. I knew that darkness. Idris was not okay at all.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded, my voice rising in panic. I cast my mind around for anything that could have caused such apparent misery. Had his part in Hyacinth’s dying moments affected him? Had tonight been an attempt to drown his guilt in the bottom of a bottle of wine?
Idris shook his head, blinking and looking away as he did so. The muscles in his jaw feathered, and then he said, “You were right earlier.”
That was unsurprising, but what in particular had I said? Had I caused this?
He blew out a long breath, lifting his face to the sky, heedless of the rain pattering over his skin. “I have nothing left.”
A cold veil of panic settled over my already frigid skin. Had I said that? If I had, I didn’t remember, and I certainly hadn’t meant whatever this was.
Idris squeezed his eyes shut, swaying again. He leaned into Saeth, who braced his legs and supported the drunk prince without complaint. I waited for him to say more, but he maintained his silence.
Should I get Anwir?
I would, but I couldn’t leave Idris alone in such a state. He’d try to fly again the moment my back was turned, and there was only one way that would end.
Idris hiccoughed, winning my attention back. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then opened his eyes, his gaze settling on me again.
“I don’t hate you, you know,” he slurred.
Oh, wow, what a compliment. “I know. Nobody leaves chocolates for people they hate. Unless they’re poisoned chocolates.”
To my knee-buckling relief, he huffed a laugh through his nose. “Who says they weren’t?”
My queasiness after stuffing the treats into my face had little to do with poison, and everything to do with my lack of restraint. I spread my arms. “Still alive, aren’t I?”
His faint smile fell away, revealing that darkness again. Damn me, and my stupid mouth, straight to hell. Was this really about Hyacinth? I’d played a bigger role in her demise, but I had no inclination to take my car for a drunken spin, even if I’d been able to. There had to be something else at play.
I casually stepped to his side, though I didn’t lean on poor Saeth the way he did. Maybe if I wasn’t looking at him it’d feel less like an interrogation. Maybe he’d tell me something. “So… why did you want to hate me?”
There was no humour in his laugh. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Was it? Was I that bad? “Not to me.” My voice came out weaker than I’d have liked.
Idris was silent for so long that I almost gave up hope of an answer. Finally, he sighed and croaked, “You woke me up.”
A chill skated down my spine. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
What have you done?
He blew out a long breath. “Is it?”
Who says I want to be?
Maybe it was wrong of me to take advantage of his drunken state, but further prying was needed, starting with the sleep he hadn’t wanted to wake from. Sage and Anwir had talked about it briefly once we’d escaped the tunnels, but I hadn’t paid much attention. “Did you dream, while you were under the curse?”
“Yes.” His voice somehow cracked in that one syllable word.
“Good dreams?”
Silence. Great. This was getting worse by the second. Warning bells clanged in my head. This male was in real trouble. I peered through the dark, searching the grounds for another person, someone who could help me. Unsurprisingly, given the relentless weather, the prince and I were alone.
“Idris,” I whispered, unsure of what to say next, but unable to say nothing.
The silence stretched, broken only by the pattering rain and the occasional rustle of feathers. There’d been no further bolts of lightning, at least.
“You shouldn’t be out here,” Idris said into the quiet.
“Well, I’m here now, and I’m already wet, so I might as well stay a while.”
Maybe it was the cold and rain, or maybe it was the unexpected turn my evening had taken, but a dull ache started deep in my chest. I pressed my fingers to my sternum, massaging the pain. In my peripheral vision, I saw Idris bow his head before turning his face to me. Forgetting my no eye contact plan, I peered sideways.
The moment my eyes met his, pain barrelled into me, snatching the air from my lungs.
