I thought I saw her shiver, considered offering her my
jumper.
She looked worried, come onnnn,
a little desperate,
then her face turned cross – determined.
She strode across the room defiantly,
straddled me on the sofa
and began to kiss me
roughly.
A little cheer went up behind her in the room.
Perhaps this is how all these kinds of parties
start – I wouldn’t know.
The kiss felt much less certain than I’d expected,
considering the force with which she’d boarded me –
fumbling, frightened almost, she seemed keen for
my mouth, my tongue to take control and I was thrown
back to a memory from primary school – sitting in a
circle under a big pine tree down at the bottom of the
field, the ground compacted – brown and dusty, strewn
with needles – taking it in turns to kiss each other on the
mouth. Wet, familial, curious – a game like any other –
rounders, barefoot, long jump, daisies plucked,
beheaded with a thumbnail, stones bashed on other
stones to make a chalky powder, doctor, patient, storm
the castle, strip the red hot pokers of their petals, jump
from one slab to another, forty-forty I see, tadpole! there!
tadpole with legs! dizzy, spun around and fell and grass
stain on my knee, hot graze, dark grit stuck to it, and a
girl with messy hair and snotty nose her graceless mouth
hits mine, and sticks, or is it me, the girl, my mouth now
focused dutifully on – who?
I pulled away
boobs – the word was in my face.
Around us party guests were feeling one another up.
Shall we go upstairs and see who’s in the
bedroom? She whispered.
Right behind you, I said and left the flat.
But what a flat it was, Ava!
Most impressive of erections – panoramic views,
throbbing city, river coursing filthily below…
