“Karma...” She gently says my name, and I can tell from one look that I won’t be able to brush her off so easily. But I don’t know what to say to her. How do I even begin to explain what’s happened to me since I fled the twins? How do I get into Storm, and Jade, and Neritous, and my heritage, and the fact that until she showed up, my situation felt (and might very well still be) utterly hopeless? It feels like we haven’t seen each other in years. “What’s going on?” Mads asks gently, touching my arm delicately as if she doesn’t want to upset me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this sad. You know you can talk to me.”
I let out a long sigh, knowing she’s right. There might not be time to get into all of it right now, but talking to someone - someone normal, someone with no connections to the gods or their grand conspiracies - might help ease the burden a little. Especially if that someone is Mads.
Clearing my throat, I slowly sit back down on the stones, despite how much they dig into my arse. Mads takes a seat next to me, grimacing a little at the feeling of the rocks but not complaining. There’s a long moment of silence, and she slowly leans over and places her head on my shoulder. It reminds me uncannily of the way Maria and my mum sat in their treehouse, in that memory.
“My mum isn’t my real mother,” I begin slowly, choosing each word carefully, “and my dad isn’t my father, either.”
To her credit, Mads doesn’t have a huge reaction to that, instead keeping her gaze fixed on the rocks in the distance. “How did you find out?” she asks at last, not looking at me.
“Mum told me,” I explain. “Well… I guess she’s not technically my mum, but she’s the one who raised me. She… she showed me images of my real mother. Of the way she died. It was all too much, so I came out here, and that’s when you found me.”
“Ah.” Mads doesn’t say anything, instead waiting for me to speak.
I feel like I’m parsing through the emotions even as I continue. “Everything is so confusing right now,” I say, “and the worst part is that we are stuck here with two halves of my biological family.” I’m aware that this probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but the immensity of the situation is almost overwhelming - it’s all I can do to give her little pieces at a time and hope she understands. “There’s my family - my real family, the ones who raised me,” I say, “and then there are these higher gods, these monsters who have turned our lives upside down. And there’s no getting away from any of it.”
Mads is quiet for a long time, both of us just listening to the waves lap against the shore. I’m sure she is thinking about what to say, and probably coming up short. I don’t blame her, I don’t have a clue of what to say, either.
“The higher gods are your family?” Mads asks finally. Her voice is calm enough, but under the words I can sense her terror at the thought. She hasn’t been acquainted with this world very long, but Peyton told her what he could, and she’s seen what the higher gods are capable of. Hell, she’s experienced it first hand.
“Yes,” I reply, and the admission is surprisingly painful to make. It’s like admitting that you’re related to a serial killer or something. “You remember the god I killed in that club?” I ask her, and I see Mads nod out of the corner of my eye. Her expression darkens at the thought, no doubt going back to the night her whole life was snatched away from her, all because of my stupidity. Hey, I admonish myself. Don’t go there. Don’t think like that. Pulling my attention back into the present, I continue. “He was my father.”
Mads’ eyes go wide at that. “You killed your own father?”
“Yeah,” I say, and for the first time, the reality of that seems to sink in. It all makes sense now: his name on my hand, the feeling of being drawn to that club, the lightning charm… It was like the universe was lining up to make sure that I took him out of the world once and for all. He came for my family, and so I came for him… whether I knew it at the time or not. “But trust me, Mads,” I say, turning to look at her, “he had his bad karma coming.”
“What did he do?” Mads asks me, pulling away to look at me cautiously. I see a hint of apprehension in her eyes, and I realise that the truth is probably hitting her equally as hard. She was only just getting used to the idea of me being a supernatural being, and now I’m telling her that I’m the offspring of some of the most powerful gods in the entire world. Will this change our relationship? I feel a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I wonder if this is going to make her afraid of me… but it vanishes the moment I meet her eyes again. The concern there isn’t for herself; it’s for me. That’s enough to melt my heart.
I clear my throat, realising she’s still waiting for a response. “He killed my mother,” I reply, the words sounding surreal coming out of my mouth. “Her name was Maria. He killed my aunts and grandparents, too. All of them died because he thought she was still pregnant with me, and he wanted to get rid of me. If I hadn’t been born four weeks premature, he would have killed me, too.” I take a shaky breath, the sadness that was overwhelming me when Mads found me threatening to hit me once again. “It was all because of me,” I whisper.
“No, not because of you,” Mads says, her eyes flashing as she straightens up and fixes her gaze on mine. “Karma, don’t you dare blame yourself.” Seeing that I don’t believe her, she takes hold of my hands and forces me to face her. “You did not make the decision that your father did,” she says, emphasizing each word.
“I know,” I say, sighing. “But I can’t stop thinking about what if. What if he hadn’t been able to? What if Maria had raised me like she planned? What if none of this had happened? What if-”
“Stop,” Mads says firmly, and I close my mouth. “Now isn’t the time to get hung up on what ifs,” she tells me. “Your mum is your mum and your dad is your dad. They are your family, no matter who gave you life.”
“I know that,” I softly admit, and I know she’s right: finding out the truth doesn’t impact my relationship with the parents who brought me up. I’m just sad that Maria, my mother, never got the chance. It’s a hard feeling, a complicated feeling, and I still don’t know what to do with it.
“And know this,” Mads continues, sounding more sincere than she ever has. “I see you as my sister, Karma. I have for a very long time, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to save you. That’s why I’m here, in a world I’m not meant to be in, and surrounded by gods that are powerful enough to scare me shiteless. We aren’t related by any blood, but we are meant to be friends. I love you; it’s that simple, and you are the only family I care about.” Her words hang heavily in the air, and even as they make me emotional, I can also feel them powering me up, igniting a fire that has been stoking inside me for a long time.
“I need to get revenge for my family,” I whisper.
“And you will, Karma,” Mads says grimly. “I will help you, you know, however I can. I know my human ass isn’t much good in this world,” she adds with a dry chuckle, “but I’ll move heaven and earth if it means we can get these bastards off your back.”
That makes me smile, and I bump her shoulder with my own. “I dunno, you do have a cute ass,” I say, and we both laugh.
“Now, tell me everything that happened in the prison,” she says.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I admit as I lean back. “The gods of justice—”
“Didn’t you go on a date with one of them?” she asks me, and I’m reminded again of just how much has changed since the last time I saw her. “I set you up with him. Peyton explained to me who he was after you killed your - er, that guy at the club.” She shakes her head and hurries on. “I just remember he was a boss at one of my old jobs in the business centre. Though now I’m not sure why a god of justice was working an office job, now that I think about it.”
“Right,” I say, nodding. “His name is Seth. Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me to know he has a part-time office job in his spare time, instead of having fun like normal people.” Mads snorts at that, and I can’t help but laugh, too, as well as say a silent prayer that Seth and Killian are okay, wherever they are. “But anyways, he didn’t forget our date. Not in a good feckin’ way either. Seth and Killian got trapped in the prison with me, then there was a test, and I met someone called Storm and Jade. Storm and the twins are here; they escaped to help me,” I say, trying to recap it all.
“And Jade?” Mads gently asks me, clearly picking up how hard it was to say her name.
“She died protecting the justice twins for me. She knew how I felt for them, and she was my friend. I can never thank her enough for it,” I admit, and a flash of her face fills my mind for a second.
“I’m so sorry, Karma,” Mads honestly says. “I’m sure she knows how thankful you are, wherever she is. I truly believe that the dead never leave us.”
“I hope that’s true,” I admit and smile at her. “Now, tell me how you are here right now?”
“Peyton told me everything after you left, and then I went to stay at yours for the night. In the morning, they explained they were coming here to make a plea for you to be released as it was an accident. I came with them, but the higher gods or anyone else never once listened to us. The guards told us we are not allowed to leave,” she explains to me. I grit my teeth, knowing Xur and my twin aunts must have been planning this all. I’m sure they have planned the games out already, and I fell straight into their trap.
“I’m sure they kept you all here to blackmail me,” I mutter, knowing Mads is waiting for an answer.
“I’m sorry, I would have made your family stay away if I knew,” she tells me.
“It wouldn’t have made a difference, Mads. They are higher gods, and nothing and no one is out of their reach,” I explain to her. “They rule this world. And now everything I do, they are interested in.”
“Except they can’t control you. If they feel they need your family and friend to blackmail you, Karma, they must be scared,” Mads says.
“They aren’t scared of me. I have half the power they do. It’s Storm they are frightened of,” I explain to her.
“And who is this Storm?” she asks, wagging her eyebrows.
“That’s another long story,” I say, and Mads smiles, resting her head back on my shoulder.
“Good thing we have time then.” I start explaining who Storm is and everything else I can think of to tell Mads.
