This is what best friends are for.
Chapter 38
“We all have rooms down here, and meals are served in this dining room with the higher gods and some of their advisers,” says Mads, making a sweeping gesture around herself at the towering stone walls of the first floor. We’ve come back inside from the beach, and I’m already missing the open air outside, even if the island is a prison in and of itself. Now she’s giving me a bit of an informal tour of the areas of the castle that we have access to as glorified hostages, since I’m really only acquainted with my family’s quarters so far. A large portion of the palace is off-limits to me and Mads, especially the upper chambers, where Xur and his sisters live and meet. They’ve given us a surprising amount of freedom already, though, and it would be a boon not to wander off somewhere without Storm with me and get lost in the bowels of the castle.
The two of us pause at the entrance to the dining room in question, which has a high, vaulted ceiling complete with the golden gilding that accents all of the palace. The ceiling is painted with murals depicting the higher gods that remind me of the Renaissance frescoes in old Italian villas. One of them, on the far side near the back, seems to have been burned away; staring up at it more closely, I can make out a humanoid form, and realize with a start that it’s an image of Storm, before he had a falling out with his family. Well, I think dryly, they certainly don’t lack for self-glorification around here. From wall to wall stretches an enormous, elegant dining table that would probably be big enough to seat a whole ballroom full of people. The chairs near the end seem to have been segregated, probably for the prisoners, and I can feel my hands balling into fists at the sight. It’s like we’re sheep to them… and the worst part is, we sort of are.
“It’s always creepy to eat in there, but we don’t have a choice exactly,” Mads explains to me, peering around my shoulder with a sour expression on her face. “Thankfully, most of the guards have their meals in the barracks, and the advisors are always late to dinner. We’ve sort of learnt to eat early and run for it.”
“The higher gods don’t have a problem with that?” I ask, turning to her.
She shakes her head. “They’re actually not always around for dinner. I think they’re too busy scheming upstairs to be bothered to come to meals on time - or maybe they just don’t want to deign to eat with the rest of us. Either way, the higher gods have only eaten with us once since we got here.”
“Damn,” I mutter. “I can’t imagine that went well.”
Mads gives a contemptive snort. “No, it didn’t. The moment your dad tried to talk about you being freed, they got up and left. I was half expecting them to shoot lightning bolts at us just for asking.”
“I wouldn’t put it past them,” I tell her, crossing my arms. “But I’m glad to hear they haven’t hurt you.”
Mads shakes her head. “They haven’t laid a finger on us - probably because they know we make better leverage against you if they just threaten us with violence. Up until that dinner, our only interactions with them were when they came about to ask questions about your nature.”
“My nature?” I ask, frowning.
She nods. “They wanted to know if you were like them, I suspect. Not pleasant dinner conversation, at any rate.”
“I think I’ll skip the meal for today then,” I say as we turn around, leaving the dining room behind us and making our way back down the main hall. “I don’t want to eat with all of their creepy red eyes watching me.” Not that I’m actually hungry after seeing all the past memories my mum shared with me; if I had the choice, I would probably never eat again. My shock has worn off for the time being, but I know for a fact that those images will be seared into my memory for the rest of my life.
“I will bring food back for you if you want,” Mads offers with a grin, and I smile at her with a brisk nod of my head. I don’t want to worry her.
Gods, I missed having her around.
We continue through the winding corridors, passing libraries, ballrooms, conservatories, and what looks like a kind of strategy room on our way. Mads points each one out to me as we go, impressing me with her knowledge of the layout of the castle, in spite of having only been here a short time. Eventually we arrive back outside the living space where Mum and Dad are being held, and I feel a thick lump forming in my throat once more as I remember the memory charm, and the pain on Mum’s face as she showed me visions of the memories that have haunted her for so long. Part of me is afraid to speak to her again in the aftermath of these revelations, while another part is desperate to, desperate for any sort of familiarity. Right now, the feeling of one of her hugs seems like the only thing that will set my head straight.
“You okay?” Mads asks, putting a hand on my arm and narrowing her eyes in concern. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”
“More than one,” I reply, but when I see the worry on her face, I force myself to smile. “But it’s all right, Mads. Really. I’m just… still a little on edge, I guess. But that’s all.”
“Okay,” she says, giving my arm a squeeze before letting go. “Well, I’ll leave you here to your folks. There’s a little reading room over there, just around the corner,” she adds, pointing over her shoulder around the bend in the hallway. “I’ve been spending most of my time in there, reading the books they have in the library. There’s not much else to do around here other than go running, and even that gets old after a while. Come find me later, if you want - we have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Wait,” I say, grabbing hold of her wrist as she turns to go. I suddenly feel embarrassed to ask, but my nerves are getting the better of me. I want someone objective here with me right now, and Mads has always been my rock. “Could you… come with me?” I ask her tentatively. “I’ve never…” I clear my throat. “This is the first time I’ll be seeing them after finding out… You know, everything. Would you…?”
Mads nods, giving me a reassuring smile. “Of course, Karma. I’ll be right behind you.”
I give her a quick hug as a thank you before turning around. Her presence behind me is enough to steady me, and I turn the handle of the door to my mum and dad’s room and pushing it open. Mads lingers a reasonable distance behind me as I move forward, and I’m left to pray that this encounter won’t be too painful as I square my shoulders and walk into the foyer.
The second the door is open, I can hear the sound of Storm laughing loudly, followed by the sound of my brothers laughing along with him. I pause where I’m standing, taken aback; I wasn’t expecting my family to take to him this quickly, but then again, this is Storm we’re talking about; maybe I shouldn’t be surprised to see he’s made friends already. At least I won’t have to worry about my family not approving of my… boyfriend? Crush? Love interest? None of the above? The truth is, I don’t really know what Storm and I even are, but it’s a relief to see that he seems to be getting along with my relatives.
I walk into the common area to see Storm standing near the kitchenette alongside my brothers. He’s gesturing as if he’s in the middle of telling a story, and Peyton is holding his sides and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. I’m glad to see that they have a little levity while they’re here, although Mum and Dad are a different story. They are standing on the other side of the room by the window, and Dad is rubbing her back in slow circles. She looks like she’s calmed down a bit, but I can see she must have been crying. Even dad, who I’ve never seen completely break down, looks like he’s struggling to hold himself together as he pulls her close.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, the whole room goes quiet, and everyone turns to look at me. My brothers’ expressions immediately go serious once more, and Storm takes a hesitant step toward me before stopping himself; he must realize that this is between me and the people who raised me.
Mum’s eyes meet mine as I freeze on the threshold, and she suddenly looks tentative… afraid. I realise with a start that she’s as nervous as I am for this moment - is she wondering if I’ll accept her now that I know the truth? And suddenly, in an unbidden rush, a sense of catharsis washes over me as I look at her.
“Mum,” I whisper, because that word means so much more now. I open my arms, and she runs to me, nearly knocking me over in a hug. I embrace her back, trying not to cry because way too many tears have already fallen today. The pain of seeing Maria is still burning in my gut like a fire, but the overwhelming love that I feel for the woman I call my mother is nearly enough to put it out. This is where I belong, I think, squeezing her so tightly that I wonder if I’ll ever let go.
She buries her face in my tangled red hair, and I feel my scalp dampen with her tears, but when she speaks, her voice is heavy with joy. “I was so worried,” she says. “I thought you would never forgive me. Karma…” She pulls back for a moment to look into my eyes, her hands on my shoulders. “No matter what else changes, you will never stop being my daughter,” she says, and pulls me back against her tightly.
“No, Mum,” I agree, inhaling the smell of her and feeling the weight of the truth lifting off my shoulders bit by bit, “I never will.”
Dad walks over and wraps his arms around us both as mum cries onto my shoulder, planting a kiss on the top of my head. For a long moment we just stand there, the three of us, an emotional wreck, but together for the first time since the shite all hit the fan. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to be around them, and one thing is certain in my mind in this moment: I’m never going to be ungrateful for them ever again.
I eventually pull back and look at them both, feeling tears welling up in my eyes again - except this time, they’re tears of relief and happiness. “Maria was my biological mother,” I tell them slowly, “and I wish I could have had more time with her. I want to know everything about her, as well as Holly, Daniella, and my grandparents.” I take a breath, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again. “But you guys are my parents. Blood doesn’t change that. You’re my mum, and you’re my dad.”
“I’ve never been as proud of you as in this moment. I love you, Karma,” dad tells me, and I turn to hug him tightly. Mum kisses the side of my head, and before I realise what’s happening, I’m tackled by a head of red hair. It’s Damien, and the look on his face is almost enough to make me laugh; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy to see me in my entire life.
“Sis,” Damien mutters as I reach up and ruffle his hair, and that little word speaks volumes. I stop to take in his appearance, moving backward a step and cocking my head to the side with a grin. Damien has gotten a heck of a lot taller since I’ve been in the prison, and his hair is cut shorter - did he do this before they arrived here, I wonder, or after?
“What have you been eating? You are so friggin’ tall,” I point out.
“The higher gods might be crazy, but they have damn good food,” Damien states.
“Language, Damien,” Dad says, and that makes us all laugh. It’s strange how, in the midst of all this, we can suddenly feel like a normal family again. But it has never been logical, I suppose.
“I also cook good food, Damien,” mum points out, placing her hands on her hips, and Damien gives her a sheepish look.
“Of course you do, mum,” Damien replies, turning and exchanging a pacified look with me. His wide eyes are so big that it’s almost comical, and I can’t help but chuckle. Some things never change.
