I watched him in silence for a second then I went upstairs where girls the were. I was trembling, my knees were knocking together, and my hands were shaking. I prayed we would all get out of this safe and I promised God I would never do anything like this again.
I couldn’t believe I could ever find myself afraid of Kev. I never thought he would hurt me, but for the first time ever, I felt like he could and definitely would! I had the girls go in the bedroom and I was headed back down the steps for my cell that I had left in my jacket pocket. I heard Kev on the phone with someone, but when I heard him say Jason’s name, I stopped at the top of the steps and listened. Kev had turned the music down so he could hear Jason.
“Jay, man, what’s up?” I heard Kev say. “Yeah, she here. They upstairs. I’ll call you when they leave,” Kev said as he continued to smoke. Jason must have said something else because Kev asked, “Huh?” Next I heard him say, “Ah, man, it was too hot at the other spot, so I made a decision to do this one alone.”
Kev sat there and listened. He leaned forward and put the ashes in the cup on the table. “Naw, I never did find out who was stealing.” He knows something. I know he does. I nervously walked back in the room with the girls. I was in a daze and thinking twice about keeping the money I had just stolen. However, it was too late. In spite of what Kev knew there wasn’t any proof. Just as long as I didn’t open my mouth I would be okay.
When I returned downstairs I threw the duffle bag of dope on Kev’s lap. Kev got up. “Look, man, I’ll call you in a minute, I got to go.” He hung up the phone.
I just stood there waiting for Kev to say something. He stood up, walked right past me, and went over to the females. Kev reached in his pocket and pulled out a stack of money.
“Here, ladies.” He looked down and started counting the money; he gave both the girls $200 extra a piece. “This is for gas. I’ll get that title to you in a couple of days. I’m sure somebody in the crew will be up that way before the week is out.” He cut his eyes at me. “I’ll make sure they bring it to y’all.”
I was angry that Kev gave my car away but, I sucked it up, took the loss, and thought, better a car than my life.
Kev walked the ladies to the door, said good-bye, and shut the door. I sat down on the couch all smiles, but I trembled on the inside.
“Reese, I followed you! First to the airport, then to the hotel! What was you thinkin’?” Kev hollered, walking toward me in complete rage.
I was caught and I couldn’t lie my way out of it. “I don’t know,” I said, trying to keep my eyes from filling with tears. I was busted. It was official. I covered my face and tried to escape what I knew was bound to happen: my own death.
Kev walked toward me and reached behind him as if he was going to pull the gun out. “I should . . . Reese! Why you do this? Huh? Do you know what happens to people who steal from us? Huh? You think Jason a joke?”
He was standing over me, breathing hard, and huffin’ and puffin’. I just sat on the couch lifeless, like he was talking to the wall.
He bent down real close to me and yelled, “You hear me talking to you, woman?” He grabbed me by my T-shirt and pulled me off the couch. He looked into my brown, oval eyes and watched the tears form in the corners and said real soft, “You think I’m a joke?”
I stared back at him, then turned my head away from him and answered very low. “No.” I couldn’t even look him in the face.
Kev released my shirt from his grip and walked away from me. I guessed he was furious and needed a moment to cool down. He put his hands on his head and rubbed his head. He walked over to the dining room and sat in a chair, looking at me. I just stood there in the living room crying my eyes out, not because I was busted, but because I had hurt Kev. In the beginning I never once thought about Kev in my revenge, and I never wanted to hurt him.
“Reese, if you tell me what I did to you to deserve this, I promise, I’ll let you go.”
I stood there. I had no answer for him. I didn’t know what to say.
“Reese, you hear me?” he snapped. “I know you hear me. Tell me why you did this?” He pointed toward the bag of dope. Kev got out of his chair and walked back toward me again.
I could feel the heat from his body and so I knew he could feel the vibrations from my trembling. As angry as he was, I could tell he was distracted by my beauty. He hesitated, then said with a firm voice, “Reese, you need to tell me somethin’. Come on now, tell me somethin’. You bad enough to steal and now you wanna stand here and act scared?” He walked away from me and grabbed at the gun in his back. It was as if he was ready to pull it out and shoot, but he didn’t for the second time.
He turned toward me. “Say somethin’.” He stood there in the front room and waited for me to reply. I finally found my voice. I owed Kev that much.
“Kev, I didn’t mean to steal from you.” I sniffled and used my hands to explain. “I didn’t even think about you when I did it. All I thought about was what Jason was doing to me and what he did to . . .” I caught myself from letting what I knew about Shy’s death slip out.
He stared at me a few more seconds, then sucked his teeth. He shook his head and walked back into the other room and sat down. “Reese, tell me this; you put me in a real spot here.” He came back in the front room where I was and stood in my face. “What you want me to tell Jay? Huh?” He was so mad he was talking through his teeth, and so close that spit was hitting my face as he talked.
I covered my eyes and screamed, “I don’t know!” I fell to my knees and covered myself up with my arms. I feared he was going to hit me.
Kev walked away from me, then walked up to me and pulled the gun out, cocked it, and aimed it at my head. His hand was trembling and his eyes were welling up with tears.
He watched me cry and hold on to myself like I was a little girl. I was terrified. I knew he was going to shoot.
He stood over me aiming the gun and thinking about what he was getting ready to do. Maybe he was thinking about my sons. Maybe he was thinking about how much he cared. He sighed aloud and put the gun away. He couldn’t do it. I knew I was supposed to be dead.
I was so thankful it was Kev who figured it out instead of Jason. Jason would have killed me but Kev didn’t do it.
“Get up! Get up, Reese!” he demanded.
I didn’t move. I stayed on the floor in a fetal position, crying and trembling with fear.
His voice became softer as if he was beginning to feel sorry for me. “Reese, come on, girl, get up. You know I ain’t gonna hurt you. We gonna figure somethin’ out, okay?” He gently touched my face. “Hey, you okay.”
Kev reached for me, then balled his fist up and turned away. I could tell he had so many emotions going through him. He finally bent down beside me and put his arm around me. “Everything gonna be all right. Okay, Reese? I promise you.”
He closed his eyes and held me right on the floor, for hours it seemed, only being interrupted by our cells ringing constantly. Neither one of us answered our missed calls.
I knew at that very moment I loved him . . . and he loved me.
Chapter 17
The Bathroom Floor
“Jesus, how did I end up here?” I asked, thinking about my upbringing in the church and my relationship with Christ. But now, years later, here I was on the floor of my own bathroom with blood streaming down my face from Jason hitting me in the mouth with the handle of his gun.
I shook myself, pulled myself out of what used to be in my life, realizing that I was now in a whole different place. “I can’t call on Jesus.” I felt I had let Him down. I covered my mouth with the horrible thought and cried a little longer, then felt the corner of my mouth with my tongue. It was still burning and I wondered if it was going to swell.
For a moment I thought I was dreaming. Is this indeed a nightmare? I asked myself. Or did my life really turn out to be this bad?
Watching my hand move toward my face, involuntarily shaking dramatically as I reached for my lip, I closed my eyes tight. I feared I was going to die in my own house by the hands of the man I had shared the last few years of my life with. I was confused; I was perplexed as to how I’d gotten here. With my failed marriage and two babies later, I didn’t get it.
