And how about others in the community? How much longer would it be before this was just an echo of the community she’d left behind in Bergamot?
When she stepped inside the kitchen, Edna was sitting at the table waiting for her. “How did it go?”
Phoebe went to the counter to finish putting away the groceries. “The rhubarb was on the list because it’s an ingredient in Jesse’s favorite cake. Did you know his birthday is this Sunday?”
“Nee, I did not.”
“It is. So I need to figure out something to give him for a present.”
“Phoebe, sit.” There was both command and irritation in Edna’s voice. “Stop talking around the issue and tell me how your talk with Seth went. How did he take the news?”
Phoebe slowly crossed the room and then dropped heavily into a chair at the table. “He was very kind. He said there was no need to dwell on what had happened and that he would do what he could to help me.” She had to swallow past a thickness in her throat.
Edna’s gaze softened. “You don’t sound as if you think that was a gut outcome.”
She drew invisible circles on the table with a finger. “I’m afraid everything is going to change now.”
“Well then, I say it’s up to you to make sure it doesn’t change for the worse.”
Phoebe looked up at that. “What do you mean?”
“If you want to be treated as someone who can take care of herself just as well as anyone else, then you have to prove that it’s so. Your familye and friends in Bergamot treated you like a small child because you allowed them to. There’s a difference between obedience to your eldre and making sure they see you as a young woman who can take care of herself.” With that Edna stood and turned toward the living room.
As Phoebe went to work preparing the cookie dough for the boys’ afternoon treat, she thought over Edna’s words. She made it sound so simple. How did she actually go about shaping the way people saw her?
That evening at supper, Phoebe waited until everyone had served their plates and then cleared her throat and sat up straighter. “If I could have everyone’s attention, there’s something I’d like to tell you all.”
As had happened at supper the night before when Seth had asked for their attention, there was an immediate pause in the conversation and eating as everyone looked at her expectantly. Trying to be as matter of fact and direct as Seth had been, she placed her hands in her lap and sat up straighter. “There’s something about me you don’t know. It’s something Edna already knows and it’s something I told Seth about this afternoon. But I think the rest of you should know as well.”
She paused a moment and realized she now had everyone’s undivided attention.
Kish leaned forward. “Please don’t say you’re leaving us already.”
She allowed herself a smile at that. “Nee, it’s nothing like that. It’s just something that’s part of who I am.” She took a deep breath then blurted out, “The thing is, I can’t really read or write well—hardly at all in fact.”
She didn’t have long to wait for their reactions.
Jesse, of course, didn’t say anything, just looked at her as if trying to puzzle something out.
Kish had a wide-eyed, slack-jawed expression.
Seth gave her a small nod of approval.
Mark was the first to actually speak. “But how’s that possible? You aren’t slow-witted—you can do all kinds of clever things.”
Before Phoebe could respond, Seth spoke up. “There’s no need for that, Mark. Of course Phoebe can do lots of things—not everything requires the ability to read.”
She noticed he didn’t say she wasn’t slow. But she kept her focus on Mark. “I learn a lot of things from watching others and then imitating what they do. And when it becomes important to know what a list or document says, I will have someone read it to me and I’ll memorize it.”
“Well, I for one think learning that way is a remarkable skill.” Levi gave her an admiring smile. “I myself was never gut at memorizing.”
Levi’s words seemed to ease some of the tension around the table.
Jesse asked her how many words she could memorize. Kish asked if her unusual menus were because she couldn’t read recipes and Mark asked how she could do her lessons when she was in school. Before long the conversation moved on to other topics and Phoebe breathed a small sigh of relief to have it behind her. And realized it hadn’t been as bad as she’d imagined it would be.
She’d thought about asking them to not share the news with anyone outside the familye, but then decided against it. She wanted to provide a gut example for these boys and young men, and that included honesty.
When there was a lull in the conversation, she turned to the youngest Beiler. “Jesse, I understand you have a big day coming up.”
His gaze, when it met hers, was startled, wary. And the mood around the table seemed to have subtly shifted. Why?
“Seth tells me your birthday is Sunday,” she continued. “You’ll be thirteen, is that right?”
“Jah.”
Apparently the youngest Beiler wasn’t excited about his upcoming birthday. She definitely needed to ask Seth for an explanation.
“John thinks we’ll have at least a dusting of snow by morning,” Daniel said.
Levi forked up another serving of vegetables. “Then it’s a gut thing our crew has inside work tomorrow.”
Seth nodded. “Perhaps we should put some extra hay out for the livestock after supper, just in case.”
And just like that the subject had been changed.
Why had talk of Jesse’s birthday garnered such a strange reaction?
