“Zilla was quite complimentary about you.”
“She had many gut things to say about you as well.”
This stilted small talk was going nowhere. He finally decided to get down to business. “Since we both know why Zilla brought you here,” he said with a self-deprecating smile, “perhaps we should move past the small talk.”
Fannie returned his smile. “I do prefer to be direct.”
“Gut. Then perhaps you should tell me what you are looking for in a marriage.”
“Of course.” She raised her chin. “First and foremost, I’m not necessarily looking for a love match—I had that with my Thomas. More important to me is to find someone who will be a gut daed to my Beth. I know you’ve raised five brieder so I take that as a gut sign.” She cut him a sideways glance. “But little girls are different. How do you feel about raising a shteef-dochder?”
“While I’ll admit I don’t know anything about raising a dochder, I think a little girl would be a welcome addition to our household. If we were to marry, I would do all I could to make sure she would be happy there. As for her being a shteef-dochder, I was the shteef-suh to a man who set a wonderful gut example of what a shteef-daed should be.”
She smiled. “That does speak well for you. The only other thing I require is that any man I marry be someone I can respect, someone who will respect me, who will allow me to care for our household as I think best. And of course, someone who will provide a sense of security for me and Beth.”
“Those are all reasonable, straightforward requests and should be something any Gotte-fearing man would give his fraa without being asked.”
She relaxed slightly. “And what is it you require of a fraa?”
Seth waved a hand. “Like you, I want whomever I marry to be someone I can respect and be respected by. She would also need to treat my brieder as if they were members of her own familye. But I am mainly looking for a helpmeet who is willing to manage many of the responsibilities of our household so I can focus my attention on my other work.”
“Those are also reasonable requests.” Fannie followed as he changed direction. “Rest assured that I know my duty when it comes to running a household. It will actually be gut to be in charge of a home again. And I have no desire to interfere in your work.”
Something she’d just said caught his attention. “Do you mind if I ask what your living situation is now?”
“I live with my oldest bruder and his familye. They have a large home and Beth and I are happy there. But it isn’t the same as having one’s own home, ain’t so?” Then she dropped her gaze. “Forgive me for speaking plainly, but I believe we should be open and honest with each other if we are to make this work. I know I said I wasn’t looking for a love match but I would like to have a few more bopplin if Gotte is willing.”
Seth cleared his throat. “I, too, would like to have kinner someday.”
That won him a soft smile. Then she turned serious again. “What do you see as our next steps?”
Seth paused a moment before answering.
Fannie apparently interpreted his hesitation as rejection. “Don’t worry if you’ve decided an arrangement between us won’t work. Beth and I are comfortable and secure with the way things are now and will continue to be so if nothing changes.” Her tone and expression were still matter of fact, as if they were discussing the weather.
“I haven’t decided any such thing. In fact I haven’t decided anything at all. What I was thinking was that we’ve only had this one short interaction and I haven’t even met your dochder yet to see how she’ll respond to me.”
“I preferred to form my own opinion before I introduced you and Beth to each other.”
Her caution with her dochder’s well-being was admirable. “Of course. But I believe we should spend a little more time together while you’re here in Sweetbrier Creek before we decide whether we want to take this any further or not.”
“Oh.” Her brow furrowed. “To be honest from what Zilla told me I expected you to be more decisive.”
Her words caught him off guard. She thought him indecisive because he didn’t make a life-changing decision based on a fifteen-minute discussion?
“But if you need a little more time,” she continued, “then of course you shall have it. I’ll be in Sweetbrier Creek for a week.”
“Danke.” He heard the stiffness in his voice but it didn’t seem to disturb her.
She stopped and he paused alongside her. “Now that we’ve settled that perhaps I should return to the house. I want to check on Beth.”
“Of course.” He swept a hand toward the house and walked with her part of the way back.
Then they parted ways—she proceeded to the house while he turned toward the barn where a cluster of men were involved in what looked to be an animated discussion.
He had found Fannie to be everything Zilla had promised. She was confident and practical, and didn’t care much for small talk. She moved with a deliberate kind of grace that he admired and she was lovely in both face and form. She was plain-spoken and he hadn’t noticed much display of emotion in her tone or demeanor during their conversation. The widow seemed to know exactly what she wanted out of life.
Including additional kinner.
He had no doubt that his home would run smoothly and efficiently if placed in her hands. He could only assume that her disappointment in his reluctance to make a quick decision meant she’d already made up her own mind to at least pursue the idea of a match.
So why was he hesitating?
The thing was, when she’d asked him what he wanted out of a marriage he’d answered based on his marriage to Dinah. He hadn’t really thought it through any further than that. He’d just assumed that since things worked out so well the first time around, that was the kind of fraa he needed—and wanted—again. But was that true?
Lately he’d come to appreciate how spontaneity, playfulness and looking at things from a fresh perspective could add a little extra joy and interest to one’s daily life.
And somehow he didn’t think those were things that would come naturally to Fannie.
When Zilla’s friend had talked of not looking for a love match, she’d elaborated, saying it was because she’d already had that with her first mann. He, on the other hand, had never experienced that emotion.
He’d never considered that a loss—he’d seen that kind of love between his mamm and his shteef-daed, a warm, binding, joyous thing. And he’d also seen how it had broken his shteef-daed when the object of that love was taken from him. To his sixteen-year-old mind that dependency, that vulnerability, had seemed much too big a price to pay.
But now he looked at people like Fannie and Edna and his onkel Samuel. They’d each had loving marriages from all appearances, and they’d each lost their spouse. And while he was sure they mourned their loss they hadn’t let it cripple them the way it had his shteef-daed. Edna had said once that she’d never once regretted her time with Ivan, even knowing how it would end.
Was he cheating himself by not opening his heart up to the possibility of something more than friendship?
