After Kish sat down, a wide grin on his face, Jesse stood and moved forward a few steps. “I’ll be reciting some verses from the Bible.” He cleared his throat, then in a solemn but somewhat shaky voice began to recite from memory the Christmas story, as told in Luke 2:1–20. As he moved further into the passage his voice steadied, grew stronger. By the time he was finished his voice rang with a quiet confidence.
Phoebe clasped her hands together. “Oh, Jesse, that was beautiful.” Then she turned to include both boys in her gaze. “Gotte was truly honored by what the two of you boys have presented this evening and I’m sure the familyes who will attend the program at the schoolhouse will feel that as well.”
Then she stood. “I’m going back in the kitchen to bake a big batch of brownies for you to bring for the snack table at the program tomorrow evening.”
She also wanted to cook a simple casserole dish they could heat up for supper tomorrow since she wouldn’t be here. That meant she’d be up late tonight but she didn’t really mind. She wasn’t sure she’d get much sleep after all.
Seth followed Phoebe into the kitchen. They hadn’t had an opportunity to talk since their chess game had ended so disastrously and he had a feeling that she’d been deliberately avoiding him.
He’d been floored by her reaction earlier. After all, he’d only been attempting to be nice. He understood why she would be annoyed if she found him out but she’d blown it completely out of proportion. However, when he’d packed up the set to put it away, he’d caught Edna’s gaze on him. And the accusation and disappointment in her expression had brought the heat to his neck.
Even so, he still wasn’t sure what he’d done that was so wrong—in fact he’d been trying to do her a kindness. But regardless of his intentions, if he’d hurt her feelings, then he supposed he owed her an apology.
But he didn’t apologize immediately. “Do you need any help?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Danke, but I think I can manage.”
Her tone, while polite, lacked the easy warmth he was used to hearing there. “Phoebe, if the way I handled our chess match today upset you, then I am very sorry.”
She had her back to him, and he saw her shoulders stiffen rather than relax. He thought he heard her take a deep breath and then she turned and gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, eyes that seemed a little too moist. “Danke for that apology. And of course I forgive you. Please don’t worry any more about it.”
Then she turned and went back to work at the counter, effectively shutting him out.
Somehow, despite her words, he didn’t feel forgiven.
Phoebe could feel Seth standing behind her as she stirred the brownie batter. But she never looked up and after a while she heard him leave. She supposed she should give him credit for apologizing—he had a gut heart for sure and for certain. But it was obvious from the way he’d worded his apology that he had no idea what he’d done and why it had upset her so much.
Which meant he didn’t understand her at all.
Could she really continue to remain here knowing she had so misjudged his feelings?
She had a lot to think about before she returned to Bergamot tomorrow.
Since Tuesday was Christmas Eve there was no school or jobs to go to so breakfast was a bit more of a leisurely affair. Phoebe went all-out, cooking cinnamon pancakes with chunky berry syrup, eggs with bacon pepper jam folded in and diced potatoes with crumbled sausage and cheddar. And all the while her stomach was tied up in knots.
She hadn’t managed to get much sleep the night before, which must be the reason for the dull ache at her temples.
When she set the platters on the table the offering was greeted with enthusiastic approval. This genuine appreciation was something else she was going to miss when she returned to Bergamot.
The mood around the table was easy and festive and Phoebe did her best not to dampen it. The mere fact that they didn’t have any but the normal farm responsibilities for the day added to the general cheeriness. The two younger boys spoke excitedly about the Christmas program that was only hours away. Mark talked about the plans his rumspringa group had to go caroling at the local senior citizens’ home. Levi teased her about how boring their meals would be while she was gone. Seth and Daniel discussed whether they wanted to sell some of the fir trees on their land to the Englisch for Christmas trees next year.
And Phoebe soaked it all in. This familye had given her a gift—pulling her into their fold, allowing her to spread her wings as a homemaker, trusting her to cook and care for them.
She wasn’t the same person she’d been when she left home—she only hoped her eldre saw the change in her as one for the better.
She certainly did.
After everyone had finished with their meal for the most part, Phoebe called for their attention. “I wanted to thank all of you for welcoming me into your home these past three and a half weeks and making me feel a part of your familye. I have truly enjoyed getting to know each and every one of you. I wish that you all will have a very joyous Christmas.”
There was a chorus of return wishes. But Seth had leaned back in his chair and his gaze searched her face as if trying to decipher a puzzle. “You said all that as if you don’t plan to come back.”
She fiddled with her glass. “I haven’t made up my mind one way or the other yet. Edna’s sling will come off in a week or so and then you won’t have need of another housekeeper, ain’t so? And I’ve been away from home for those three and a half weeks. If I did return on Friday as we’d planned, it would only be for a week, ten days at the most.” She managed to meet his gaze directly. “So I’ll see how much I’m needed at home before I decide anything for sure.”
Seth’s expression tightened but if she’d expected him to ask her to stay or to say anything at all, she was disappointed. He remained tight-lipped and focused on his milk glass.
The other Beilers, however, were not nearly as reticent. She was immediately bombarded with protests, questions and pleas, some of which threatened to break her heart.
She attempted to respond to a few of them but was secretly relieved when Seth finally instructed his brieder to leave her alone. She stood to carry her dishes to the sink. “One way or the other, I will call you, let’s say at four on Thursday afternoon with my decision.”
Her gaze snagged on Edna’s. The disappointment she saw in her friend’s gaze drew the heat into her cheeks. But then she lifted her chin and met her gaze head-on. She had to do what was best for her own peace of mind, whether her friend agreed with her choice or not.
By the time the table was cleared and she was ready to tackle the dishes, everyone else had left the kitchen but Edna.
There was a strained silence between them for a few minutes. When Phoebe couldn’t stand it any longer, she spoke without turning around. “I truly haven’t made up my mind yet, you know. I could very well decide to come back on Friday after all.”
“And you could decide not to.”
Phoebe didn’t bother to argue that point. “I would be leaving shortly anyway.”
“My arm is not yet healed.”
Phoebe did turn around at that. “I’m sure one of your nieces would be happy to come help you with meals and housecleaning until your sling comes off.” She wondered why that hadn’t been Edna’s choice in the first place.
Edna stood and moved toward the dawdi haus. “Perhaps. But one way or the other it will no longer be your problem.” And without waiting for a response, she made her exit.
