Phoebe finished cleaning the kitchen in solo misery. Why was everyone treating this as if she’d already made up her mind? She just really needed the distance her familye’s home would provide to think through all of her confusing emotions—that was all.
Her car was scheduled to pick her up at nine o’clock so as soon as the kitchen was cleaned Phoebe went to the dawdi haus to gather her things.
When she stepped outside she halted on the threshold, surprise gluing her feet to the porch. All of the Beilers were there to tell her goodbye, their long faces again tearing at her heart. Seth, however, stood apart from the others, his face set in a distant, unreadable expression.
Levi glanced at his older bruder, then back to Phoebe. Not wearing that cocky grin for once, he stepped forward to take her bag.
“Did Seth do something to make you want to leave us?” He’d pitched his voice so only she could hear it, but that didn’t mask the frustration in his voice.
Phoebe shook herself out of her paralysis and moved forward with him. She chose her words carefully. “Do you think your bruder could, or would, try to make me do something I didn’t want to do?”
He studied her suspiciously. “Still, this came on all of a sudden. You gave no indication last night that anything was wrong.”
“I have my reasons. And I never said anything was wrong, just that I wanted to give my time here some serious thought.” Then she briefly touched his arm. “Please, Levi, don’t press me on this.”
After a moment he nodded. But she saw the look he threw Seth’s way.
Seth watched the car drive away and then headed for his workshop. He had to keep busy, to do something to take his mind off of what had just happened. He’d thought she was happy here, that she might even be willing to extend her stay and help Edna even after her wrist was healed. How could he have been so blindsided?
Time to push thoughts of their fickle housekeeper aside. He’d planned to wait until after the new year to start working on chess sets again but now he felt driven to lose himself in his craft. He went to the stack of boards he used to build the gameboard and drawer, selected what he needed, then measured and cut them.
But no matter how hard he tried to focus, thoughts of Phoebe kept intruding. She’d said she hadn’t made up her mind yet but he could see in her eyes that she wasn’t planning to come back.
How long had she known she wouldn’t be returning after Christmas? Surely she hadn’t just suddenly woke up this morning and made that decision. He’d never thought of her as a coward before but the way she’d handled this seemed just that—cowardly. She was running away rather than talking to him about whatever it was that was bothering her.
Seth struck his thumb with his tack hammer. With a growl, he dropped the tool and put the injured digit in his mouth.
Levi picked that very moment to walk into his workshop.
Chapter 34
What do you want?” He glared at his bruder, willing him to go away.
But Levi sauntered right up to Seth’s worktable and leaned a hip against it. “For someone who’s so smart, you sometimes do such naddish things.”
Seth’s glare deepened. “What are you talking about?”
“You should have asked her to come back after Christmas.”
He gave an exasperated huff. “You heard her at breakfast—it sounds to me as if she’s already decided. I have no right to try to change her mind. And I’m certainly not going to beg.”
Levi continued to press. “But do you want her to come back?”
“It’s what we agreed to at the outset.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
Seth felt cornered. “Jah. Edna is in no shape to take on the role of housekeeper again.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “You’re so stubborn.” Then he met Seth’s gaze again. “Whatever the reason for her leaving, do you think she has any idea how much you’d really like her to return?”
“She should.” As soon as he uttered the words he wished them back—he’d all but admitted he wanted her back for more than just her housekeeping skills. And he could tell by the satisfied grin on Levi’s face his bruder realized what he’d said.
But then he thought about Levi’s question and realized he’d never really told her, he’d just assumed she knew. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway, why would it even matter to her?”
“You’ll never know if you don’t tell her.” Levi straightened and gave him a direct look. “I understand there’s a phone at her place and I’m sure Edna knows the number.”
And with that Levi finally sauntered out of the workroom, leaving Seth to ponder his words and their implications.
Seth went back to work but it was no use. After ruining two chess pieces he was trying to carve he gave up and decided to do some paperwork in his office.
He’d barely settled in when he looked up to see Jesse standing in the door to his office. He set his pen down and leaned back in his chair. “Can I help you with something?” He didn’t want to ever again make Jesse feel he was less than any other member of this household.
Jesse moved farther into the room. “When Phoebe left she said she hadn’t decided if she’d be back or not. Do you think she’s coming back?”
He wished he could say jah. But he owed his bruder an honest answer. So he chose his words carefully. “That’s her decision to make. I guess we’ll just have to wait until she makes up her mind.”
“Is she mad at us?”
Only at me. “How can you ask that? You know how much Phoebe cares about you—just look at how much she did to make your birthday special.” He leaned forward. “But her familye and friends are in Bergamot and she was going to leave us soon anyway. So we must be prepared for whatever decision she makes.”
Jesse didn’t seem happy with that answer. “I wish she could stay here forever.” But then he lifted his head and met Seth’s gaze. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
Seth waved him to a chair. “I’m listening.”
“It’s about Phoebe, about why she can’t read.”
