I felt his hands tighten around my waist as if he didn’t even realize that he was doing it. “I knew that I was bad for you,” he said with a trace of sadness and remorse. “I knew what you had been through and what I had done, and I knew that if I let myself get involved with you it would probably make things a million times worse for the both of us.”
“And that moment on the edge of the roof,” I said. “What happened in that moment?”
I felt his chest heave beneath me, and I felt his body tremble around me. “That was the moment that I lost control because I knew that I could never let you go. I wasn’t thinking, all I could do was react to the intense and suffocating longing that swelled within me. I grabbed you because I needed to have you, and then I held you over the edge because I was tormented by the thought of you. I felt like I was both coming alive and dying at the same time. I knew, in that single moment, that I had to have you; not just have sex with you but have you as mine for eternity. And that if I couldn’t, then I would rather die. You tormented me so much just by your very presence. Your very breath, your stare, the way that you moved; everything about you made me want to die if I couldn’t be with you. You have no idea what you did to me, Lisette. That night changed my entire life. You have owned me since that very moment.”
I turned around in his lap so that I was facing him and stared deeply into his eyes. I needed him to really understand what I was about to say to him.
“Michael, do you want to know how I felt during that moment?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said as he diverted his eyes from mine. “Do I?”
I reached up and held his jaw between my thumb and index finger to hold his face to mine. I needed him to look in my eyes when I told him this.
“When you grabbed me, I was scared.”
He tried to tilt his head away in shame, but I didn’t let him. I held him in place to look at me. I wasn’t going to let him run from this, not from me; not this time.
“I wasn’t scared because I was afraid of falling from the roof,” I said slowly. “I was scared because I was falling for you.”
“What?” he whispered in awe. “That’s impossible. You hated me.”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “I didn’t hate you. I hated the way that I felt about you.”
Michael looked as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His eyes widened as he stared at me, and his body trembled even more than it had been before.
So, I continued. “I hated the fact that I didn’t want you to let me go, not from the rooftop but from your hands. I hated that there was some instant and urgent feeling that I couldn’t choke down, a feeling that made me want to jump from the rooftop myself, rather than think that I wouldn’t be with you. You think that I was scared of you and that I hated you. You felt like you were out of control, that you were some kind of monster that was scaring an innocent girl with darkness. But don’t you understand? I was the darkness, and you didn’t scare me; you saved me.”
I paused to look at him and I saw a million thoughts and feelings flash across his eyes; disbelief, shock, joy…there were too many to name.
“There never was any choice to make, Michael. There never was a choice between you and Julian, or Adam, or Rob. That choice was taken from me the moment that you let me go that night. The moment that your hand released from around me, that was the moment that I knew that it had to be you. And even throughout all the strife we’ve been through and the times when you lashed out and acted like an ass because you were hurt, or jealous, or out of control; there was never a single moment in which you didn’t already rule my heart. Every time that I saw you, every time that you were close enough to touch; I wanted you to make love to me. Every. Single. Time. You say that I owned you, but you ruled me from the moment you touched my skin and looked into my eyes.”
I waited for him to say something, anything that let me know that he understood what I was saying because each word was the truth. I may have wrestled with accepting it at first, but the fact that I had loved Michael and that I felt we were fated to be together even when we were enemies; that was the truest thing that existed.
Michael looked at me with darkened eyes that answered me without words. He rose up to his knees and pulled me closer to him as he moved. His arms wrapped around my back to press me against his torso as he put his mouth on mine and pushed his tongue between my lips. Every part of our bodies wrapped around each other; our tongues danced delightfully together, and our knees pressed together atop the silky furs beneath us. Michael held my face to his and I felt the same way that I felt that night on the roof; I couldn’t get enough of him. I could never get enough of him, no matter how close we got to each other, it would never be enough.
“I love you, Lisette,” he said as his words slipped between my lips and fed my soul. “I love you more than you will ever know, and I will never be able to let you go.”
“Then don’t,” I whispered.
Michael lowered his hands from my face and held the bottom of my shirt between his fingers as he lifted it up over my head and tossed it to the side of the greenhouse. The cool air kissed my warm skin and sent a tingle across my skin that made me shiver. He pulled his own shirt off over his head and pressed his chest against mine to warm my skin with his body heat. The feeling of our skin rubbing together made my breath start to quicken. It wouldn’t matter how many times I made love to Michael; each time would be the closest that I would ever get to utopia. I reached down and undid the top of his pants and then ran my hand down the outside of his jeans to feel his desire for me pushing against the fabric. I tugged them down toward his hips and then impatiently shoved my mouth against his to taste his lips again and relay the sense of urgency that I felt.
He felt it too, and in response, he slid his pants off and kicked them away.
Then he pulled my own pants from my legs, and the yearning that I felt as I saw his swollen, hard cock made my body quiver with a painful anticipation. I reached to grab both sides of his torso and fell backward onto the furs, bringing him with me and immediately pulling him into me with my thighs around his waist. There wasn’t any wasted hesitation. There was only the carnal, desperate need that made me feel like I would die if Michael wasn’t inside of me right now.
And when he pushed into me, his desire was every bit as wild and unrelenting as mine.
I could feel his pulsing, throbbing engorgement that tremored as he pressed against the inside of my body. Our bodies moved against each other in perfect synchronicity, and in this moment, just like Michael said; he owned me in every way possible.
When our bodies were satiated, and our hearts were mended, we collapsed onto the furs and laid together in a gasping tangle on the floor as we tried to catch our breath. Michael pulled me onto his shoulder and swept the matted and sweat-infused strands of hair from my face, and I tilted my head toward his body and kissed his chest.
The salty taste of his skin lingered on my lips and I thought about spending the whole night inside this greenhouse and making love until we had used every moment of moonlight and not slept for a second of it.
“I’m sorry for all of the tension between all of us lately,” Michael said quietly. “I love you, and I need you, and I just couldn’t stand to see you with anyone else.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I said softly. “It’s my fault. I guess that it’s hard for me to let go of things because I’ve had so many things taken from me in the past. But no matter what happens between now and the time that it is just you and I alone together for the rest of the countless days in this world, you need to know that I am yours. Nothing will ever change that.”
“Not even if I act like a complete asshole?” he teased.
“Not even then,” I smiled.
I pressed my face against his chest and wrapped my arm over his torso as he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the top of my head.
Then, I heard someone click their tongue. “See, now this is exactly why you need me.”
Naomi’s voice cut through the quiet and startled me so greatly that it felt as if my heart bumped against the inside of my ribcage. Michael and I both sat up, bringing the furs with me in order to cover my naked body as Michael pulled me against his chest protectively.
“Naomi!” I shouted in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
I saw Michael glance around, and I knew what he was looking for even before he spoke.
“How did you get out of the house?” he asked. “Where are Adam and Rob?”
Oh god, I thought to myself. What has she done? Where are the guys?
I immediately tried to get on my feet as soon as I had the sinking feeling of confinement settling into my bones, but I wasn’t fast enough. Naomi swung the greenhouse door closed and turned the lock.
We were trapped.
