“It’s okay,” I said. “I know this is hard. I feel it too.”
Michael chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You,” he said. “Not funny exactly, just astounding. Here you are all broken on the side of a mountain after essentially falling off a cliff, and you’re trying to comfort me.”
“Yeah,” I said, still trying not to laugh because it hurt. “I guess that is kind of funny.”
3
When we got back onto the mountain, after a fairly harrowing climb off the narrow ledge, I kept a tight hold on the flashlight to guide our path as Michael continued to carry me. The night seemed like it was continuing to get colder and darker, and I curled my body up against Michael’s chest as tightly as I could.
“We’re not going to make it very far,” he said as he stopped walking and looked around in the narrow beam of the flashlight, which was starting to dim. “Since you can’t walk on your leg yet, we won’t make much ground with me carrying you. Our best bet is to stay here somewhere until your leg feels well enough to walk on. Those flashlight batteries are about to die out and we certainly don’t want to chance falling off any more drops tonight.”
“But we don’t have a tent,” I said.
“True, but look.” Michael nodded his head in the direction of what looked to be a small cave carved out into the side of a hill up ahead.
He walked over toward it just in time for us to have enough life left in the flashlight to check it out. It looked like an empty crevice that was just deep and wide enough to be about the same size as a tent.
“We can stay in here for tonight,” he said.
“What if it’s a bear den or something?” I asked.
“It’s not, it’s just a little hollow in the hill. We’ll be safe here.”
Michael set me down inside the small cavern, and although the ground was still frigid, at least it kept the wind at bay. It hadn’t snowed for a while, but it definitely felt cold enough for it to start back up again at any time. He came inside the cave with me and pulled me close to him.
“I know you’re in pain,” he said. “There’s not much I can do about your leg without there being light enough for me to see what I’m doing. Do you think you’ll be okay to make it through the night in here?”
“Yes,” I answered. “I’m okay now that you’re here.”
I heard him take in a deep breath and felt the sigh in his chest. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I was dying to tell him that I loved him more than anything that tried to get between us. He laid back against the back of the crevice and pulled me gently on him so that I could lean against him while I tried to sleep. But sleep seemed kind of impossible at the moment. Even with Michael’s arms wrapped around me and our bodies pressed up against each other, I was so cold. The cold mixed with the pain congealed into a raging cocktail of a headache that swam around inside my head.
“We don’t have any food or supplies,” I said quietly just as the last light of the flashlight flickered out.
“No, we don’t,” he said. “But in the morning, I’ll take a look at your leg and then we’ll head back toward the cabin.”
“The cabin?” I said. “Why wouldn’t we just go back to the campsite?”
“Because there wasn’t enough food and supplies at the campsite to last another day either. Most likely Adam will be headed back to the cabin at first light. Maybe even Rob has been able to make it back there already. The cabin is the best chance of meeting up with anyone now. Plus, you need a first aid kit, and probably medical attention, and definitely food and a way to get warm. We’ll huddle it out here tonight, and then go to the cabin.”
“Do you even know how to find the way back to the cabin?” I asked. “Aren’t we at least two days away from it still?”
“I know how to get back,” he said. “And I think I may have even figured out a shorter way to take which would cut the trek down by nearly a day.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I’m pretty good at survivalism and navigation,” he said. “Guess you missed the class on those things at Goldshire, huh?”
“They had classes on survivalism and navigation at Lineage?” I asked in amazement.
I heard Michael chuckle and then realized that he was teasing me.
“Well, if you’re right about it then I’m at least glad that you know how to get us home,” I said as I cuddled into him more.
I felt like I was pushing up against him so hard that I wished our bodies would just interconnect. I felt Michael’s hands around me and even though it wasn’t the most ideal of situations, I was so happy to be in his arms again that it almost made the whole ordeal worth it.
“Why did you follow me?” I whispered to him in the dark after we sat in silence for a few minutes.
“I will always protect you, Lisette. You have to know that by now.”
“Yeah, but you were mad enough to leave, and you still think that our relationship might have changed. You still entertain the possibility that we might be—”
“Lisette, I told you that I would never leave you and I meant it. Just because I walked away for a while didn’t mean that I still wouldn’t be here when you needed me. I am always nearby you; always. And as far as our relationship…”
He stopped talking for a moment and I wondered if he was even going to finish what he had been saying.
“I should have come and talked to you about this more instead of trying to avoid it altogether. I just didn’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know what to do,” he said.
Even in the dark without being able to see him, I could still feel the contorted look of pain on his face. That kind of pain was worse than a broken leg, and I’d been feeling it too. But it hit Michael even deeper I think, because he was at war with himself again, trying to keep himself from feeling and acting on what he wanted in exchange for doing what he thought was the right thing to do. I thought about whether or not I should ask him to finish what he was saying, but I didn’t have to because he picked it back up on his own.
“I don’t know how to handle this, Lisette. I can’t stand not being with you, not having you. Every fiber of my being is longing for you and part of me just wants to say fuck it and take you in my arms, and kiss you, and make love to you as if none of the rest of it matters. Seeing Adam try to come on to you as if there was a chance now that you and I wouldn’t be together, made me lose my mind.”
I reached down and wrapped my fingers with his as his hand rested against my chest.
