“About what?”
“If you think I can’t love you anymore.”
“Nox, you can’t just will away a curse placed by the Old Magic, any more than the fae can will away the lying curse.”
“I know that. But I don’t think the Old Magic cursed me never to love you again.”
I let out a wry laugh. “Then what is it you think he did?”
“I think he took away the feeling of being in love.”
My heart feels damp. Tired. “Maybe you’re right, technically it’s not the same, but practically—”
“Practically, it’s not the same at all.”
“Is it not?”
“I thought that too. Until I went back home and visited my parents.”
“You got to see them?” I can’t help the way a smile tugs at my lips, just knowing Nox got something he’s desired for so long. “How are they doing?”
His expression turns melancholy, but there’s hope there. “They’re…I think they’ll be fine, eventually. But the reason I bring them up is that my father taught me something while I was there.”
“Amazing how parents are supposed to be good at that,” I say, a faint aching in my heart as I wonder what kind of advice my father would have given me about Nox, had he lived to meet him.
Nox smiles, and when he does, it melts every muscle in my body.
“Blaise, I’m sorry I haven’t been clear about my intentions.”
I nudge him in the shoulder, which is a mistake, because each time we touch, I feel my resolve breaking down. “You’ve already said that.”
He turns and fixes his eyes on me. “And I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.”
“Until I believe what?”
“That I love you, Blaise.”
My heart jolts, but it’s short-lived, because it’s not true. “That’s impossible—the Old Magic’s curse—”
“Took my feelings away. But that’s all it did. But love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a choice. And I choose you.”
I swallow, pain bulging in my throat. It’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I want to hear that Nox is consumed by me. I want to hear that he feels the same way about me I feel about him.
Nox must see the disappointment in my eyes, because he sighs. “I’m still messing this up, aren’t I?”
I bite my lip, nodding as tears sting at my eyes.
“Let me try again?”
“Okay.”
“Blaise, I love you. I ripped through the actual Fabric separating realms to get back to you. I killed a man to get this paldihv to save you. Granted, he deserved it, so that’s probably not the best example of a sacrifice. But then I sprinted for a day and night straight to get to you, across a desert, even. By the way, can we both agree sand is the worst substance to ever exist?”
I chuckle nervously. “It keeps falling out of my ears.”
Nox grins, flicking my ear playfully, and, true to my words, a tuft of sand falls out. But then his smile falters, his expression turning serious. “And if that’s not enough to convince you I love you, I’ll find something to top it, I promise. The point is, you and I…we’re volatile, Blaise, and even if the Old Magic hadn’t cursed me, even if we’d been reunited in the way we’d wanted, then years down the road, I think there would have been times when the feelings dulled—dry spells. Because as much as we want to think we’re unique, somehow immune to what everyone else seems to experience, I don’t think we are. And I don’t know that we’ll never have difficult times, or we’ll never have moments where we drive each other crazy. Or occasions where things are hard and the feelings fade for a little while.
“But Blaise. I want it to be you. I want your dry spells. I want your winters. I want your shadow seasons when the sun only shines a few hours at a time. No matter what happens, I want it to be you I’m clawing my way back to.
“It’s you, Blaise. You in the shadows or you in the light. And if the Old Magic steals the way I feel about you again, it’s you I want to keep crawling back to, falling in love with all over again. Today and tomorrow and the rest of our immortally nocturnal existences.”
I let out a giggle, but it sounds more like a sob. “Are you trying to be romantic by talking about the times in life you’ll fall out of love with me?”
“As long as it’s you.”
Nox bites the inside of his cheek and pulls out whatever it is that he’s been twiddling with inside his pocket.
Then Nox kneels to the floor and slips something cold and metallic onto my finger.
I can hardly stand to look at it, not when Nox’s eyes are filling with tears, and mine are too, blurring the moment.
“I think we’re technically already married, Nox,” I whisper, though it’s somewhat choked. “At least, by vampire standards.”
He lets out a chuckle, and a smile overtakes his beautiful face. “I know. I just want to be bound to you in all the ways.”
“In all the ways?” I ask, playing with the band on my finger, though I still refuse to look at it, since that would mean looking away from Nox’s face.
He shrugs. “One way in particular is coming to the forefront of my mind. But yes, all the ways.”
