“Sure.” I stood up and walked to the front door. I turned to him. “Don’t ever let something like that happen again though. Enjoy the jam.”
He didn’t say anything, but I felt him watching me as I walked to the driveway and got into my car. I backed out of the driveway and glanced back.
He was still watching.
FORTY-ONE2017
The Commune
Dream
We sat under a grove of orange and lemon trees just beyond the Zen Yoga Deck where we did our morning stretches. Only three of us lounged under the green, leafy canopy of lush fruit; the rest of the group went back to the house.
Sun filtered through the leaves making dancing shadows we laughed at as we smoked the sacred herb, inhaling its anxiety-reducing properties. I, for one, needed the calming element and indulged in its haze wholeheartedly. A slight chill lingered in the air, typical of a winter morning, even in California, although our bodies were still warmed by our intense yoga workout. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, although that might have been for other reasons.
“How long have you taught yoga?” Sunny asked Venus, her long legs stretched out next to me. Venus sat across from us, in a short white gown, the same as Sunny wore. I had on my comfortable cotton shorts and a tank top. We practiced yoga nude, but some clothes were needed afterward in the early morning crispness.
“Two years,” said Venus, her voice throaty. Long dark hair spilled down her slim shoulders. “I learned when I was seventeen.”
“And you’re nineteen now, right?” Sunny said. “That’s how old I was when I met Dream and joined Listening Lark. I’m twenty-one now.”
Venus nodded, looking at me through her long eyelashes. I could have her if I wanted. I knew I could. And I really wanted to; it was all I’d thought about lately. This desire for her was killing me. She consumed my thoughts. Her lips, her breasts, how she would feel. She intoxicated me.
“Cool, yeah, I needed something different in my life, something to belong to. My mom died recently, and I’ve been dealing with that,” she said. “Listening Lark feels right to me.”
“We’re so glad you’re here,” I said. “Sorry about your mom.”
She nodded. “What is great about this place is that we live in the here and now, right? Right now, I’m under some beautiful trees with some beautiful people and I feel so happy.”
We all smiled and looked at each other. Belonging to a group like Listening Lark gave us a close bond. Individuals functioning as one unit. I’d always loved that theory. I looked at Sunny, relaxed and leaning against me, enjoying Venus’s company as much as me. A thought crossed my mind. A thought I’d been having all week. Could it be possible? Maybe we could be a throuple? Maybe Sunny would be into it. She always said it was only me and her, that she didn’t share. But maybe she’d make an exception for Venus? I mean, look at her! My mind raced now. How could I make this happen for us?
“Venus!” a voice called. We looked to see Willow standing in the yard. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” Venus got up and walked over to Willow. They disappeared from our sight.
“She’s great,” I remarked, watching her walk away.
“Venus, yeah she is,” Sunny said.
She stood up to pick an orange off the tree. She peeled it.
I stood too and leaned down to kiss her. “Not as great as you.”
“Of course not.” She laughed. She fed me a segment of orange and ate one herself.
“I love you,” I whispered to her. And I did.
“I love you too.”
“Our love is strong, isn’t it?” I asked.
She nodded and kissed me, deeper this time. I pulled her close to me, my hands running down her back, and we continued to kiss. She dropped the orange.
I heard a twig snap and looked up. Venus walked toward us. Our gazes met and we stared at one another for a moment. She took off the short gown she was wearing and tossed it to the ground. She was completely naked and walking directly to us. Was this really happening, or an unbelievable dream?
I continued to kiss Sunny, my eyes on Venus, and motioned to her to come closer. My gaze drank in her body. I’d seen it before, but now, it was obvious she was presenting it just for me, for us.
Venus stood close behind Sunny, and I lifted my hand from Sunny to touch Venus’s breast, while still kissing Sunny. My eyes locked with Venus. I was going to try this. My heart pounded and other regions did too.
Venus moved closer, and I lifted my lips from Sunny, my other hand still on her. I kissed Venus.
Sunny’s eyes flew open.
She jerked away.
“What the hell? What are you doing?” she demanded.
“Please, Sunny,” I pleaded. “Let’s try this. You, me and Venus. We would be so good together.”
She pointed a finger at me. “I told you that I don’t share. I’ll never share you!”
“I know, but I really want this,” I said, staring at her. “It will be good for our relationship.”
“You are fucking insane!” she yelled and ran away across the yard.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Venus. I ran after Sunny.
I reached the guesthouse and turned the knob. It was locked. We never locked it; I didn’t even know it had a lock.
“Sunny, let me in,” I called. I pulled harder on the knob.
“Go away!” she screamed.
“Please… I’m sorry.”
No response. I tried to get her to open the door, but only silence met me on the other side. Adrenaline coursed through me. She couldn’t lock me out! I pounded on the door, but she didn’t answer.
“Sunny, open the damn door!” I yelled, punching the door. Over and over again.
“I said go away!”
I stood still for a moment doing some deep breathing. My hand ached and bled from its impact to the door. “Calmness and balance.” I whispered to myself. “Calmness and balance.”
I went away.
FORTY-TWO2024
Aimee
