Ibid., vol. 29, 2-15-1787. To Mary Washington. “I informed my brother John sometime ago, whose death I sincerely lament on many accounts, and on this painful event condole with you most sincerely.”
Ibid., vol. 29, 3-25-1787. “My Dear Marquis: I have lately lost a Brother (Colo. John Augt. Washington which I mention to account for the black Seal of this letter) the rest of my friends, and every individual in the Family are tolerably well and join most cordially in every vow that can contribute to the health and happiness of Madam La Fayette yourself and family. Esqr Tub will soon be able to offer you his own homage as he begins to write very prettily. I have no expression that can convey to you the warmth of my friendship and affectionate attachment. Adieu.”
Ibid., vol. 33, 10-27-1793. To William Pearce. “The season has been remarkably sickly, generally, but my family, except a few slight touches of the intermittant fever, chiefly among the blacks, have shared less of it, than I find from report, has been felt in most other places.”
Ibid., vol. 34, 5-10-1795. To William Pearce. “I am sorry to find by your last reports that there has been two deaths in the family since I left Mount Vernon; and one of them a young fellow. I hope every necessary care and attention was afforded him. I expect little of this from McKoy, or indeed from most of his class; for they seem to consider a Negro much in the same light as they do the brute beasts, on the farms; and often times treat them as inhumanly.”
Ibid., vol. 37, 9-22-1799. To Samuel Washington. “Dear Sir: Your letter, announcing the death of my Brother, came to hand last night. One from Colo. Ball, informing me of that event, arrived the evening before. I very sincerely condole with your mother and the family on this occasion. But as death, in this case, regular in its approaches; and evident, long before it happened; she, and all of you, must have been prepared for the stroke. Of course, though painful, it must have fallen much lighter on that account.”
31 Ibid., vol. 3, 8-28, 1774. To Mrs. Sarah Bomford. “...it would be a wrong to suffer the small pittance she reservd to herself the time of her unhappy Marriage to fall into the hands of a v — n [villain]who has not only endeavourd to wrong of it but would I suppose deprive her of the very means of Existance if he could do it.”
Ibid., vol. 29, 11-15-1786. To Mrs. Anne Ennis. Ibid., vol. 33, 9-6-1794. To Peter Trenor. Ibid., vol. 29, 4-28-1788. To Comte de Rochambeau. “My dear Count: I have just received the letter which you did me the honor to write to me on the 18th of January; and am sorry to learn that the Count de Grasse, our gallant coadjutor in the capture of Cornwallis, is no more. Yet his death is not, perhaps, so much to be deplored as his latter days were to be pitied. It seemed as if an unfortunate and unrelenting destiny pursued him, to destroy the enjoyment of all earthly comfort. For the disastrous battle of the 12th of April, the loss of the favor of his king, and the subsequent connection in marriage with an unworthy woman, were sufficient to have made him weary of the burden of life.”
32 Ibid., vol. 33, 9-14, 1794. To Elizabeth Parke Custis. “My dear Betcy: Shall I, in answer to your letter of the 7th. instant say, when you are as near the Pinnacle of happiness as your sister Patcy conceives herself to be; or when your candour shines more conspicuously than it does in that letter, that I will then, comply with the request you have made, for my Picture?
No: I will grant it without either: for if the latter was to be a preliminary, it would be sometime I apprehend before that Picture would be found pendant at your breast; it not being within the bounds of probability that the contemplation of an inanimate thing, whatever might be the reflections arising from the possession of it, can be the only wish of your heart.
Respect may place it among the desirable objects of it, but there are emotions of a softer kind, to wch. the heart of a girl turned of eighteen, is susceptible, that must have generated much warmer ideas, although the fruition of them may, apparently, be more distant than those of your Sister’s.
Having (by way of a hint) delivered a sentiment to Patty, [Martha Parke Custis, who became Mrs. Thomas Peter] which may be useful to her (if it be remembered after the change that is contemplated, is consummated) I will suggest another, more applicable to yourself.
Do not then in your contemplation of the marriage state, look for perfect felicity before you consent to wed. Nor conceive, from the fine tales the Poets and lovers of old have told us, of the transports of mutual love, that heaven has taken its abode on earth: Nor do not deceive yourself in supposing, that the only mean by which these are to be obtained, is to drink deep of the cup, and revel in an ocean of love. Love is a mighty pretty thing; but like all other delicious things, it is cloying; and when the first transports of the passion begins to subside, which it assuredly will do, and yield, oftentimes too late, to more sober reflections, it serves to evince, that love is too dainty a food to live upon alone, and ought not to be considered farther than as a necessary ingredient for that matrimonial happiness which results from a combination of causes; none of which are of greater importance, than that the object on whom it is placed, should possess good sense, good dispositions, and the means of supporting you in the way you have been brought up. Such qualifications cannot fail to attract (after marriage) your esteem and regard, into wch. or into disgust, sooner or later, love naturally resolves itself; and who at the sametime, has a claim to the respect, and esteem of the circle he moves in. Without these, whatever may be your first impressions of the man, they will end in disappointment; for be assured, and experience will convince you, that there is no truth more certain, than that all our enjoyments fall short of our expectations; and to none does it apply with more force, than to the gratification of the passions. You may believe me to be always, and sincerely Your Affectionate.”
33 Ibid., vol. 3, 4-3-1773. “Dear Sir: I am now set down to write to you on a Subject of Importance, and of no small embarrassment to me. My Son in Law and Ward, Mr. Custis, has, as I have been informed, paid his Addresses to your Second Daughter, and having made some progress in her Affections has required her in Marriage. How far a union of this Sort may be agreeable to you, you best can tell, but I should think myself wanting in Candor was I not to acknowledge, that, Miss Nellie’s amiable qualifications stands confess’d at all hands; and that, an alliance with your Family, will be pleasing to his. [Note: Eleanor Calvert. She married John Parke Custis Feb. 3, 1774, and, after his death, Dr. David Stuart. By her first husband she had Eleanor Parke (Nellie) Custis, two other daughters, and George Washington Parke Custis.]
“This acknowledgment being made you must permit me to add Sir, that at this, or in any short time, his youth, inexperience, and unripened Education, is, and will be insuperable obstacles in my eye, to the completion of the Marriage. As his Guardian, I conceive it to be my indispensable duty (to endeavor) to carry him through a regular course of Education, many branches of which, sorry I am to add, he is totally deficient of; and to guard his youth to a more advanced age before an Event, on which his own Peace and the happiness of another is to depend, takes place; not that I have any doubt of the warmth of his Affections, nor, I hope I may add, any fears of a change in them; but at present, I do not conceive that he is capable of bestowing that due attention to the Important consequences of a marriage State, which is necessary to be done by those, who are Inclin’d to enter into it; and of course, am unwilling he should do it till he is. If the Affection which they have avowd for each other is fixd upon a Solid Basis, it will receive no diminution in the course of two or three years, in which time he may prosecute his Studies, and thereby render himself more deserving of the Lady, and useful to Society; If unfortunately, (as they are both young) there should be an abatement of Affection on either side, or both, it had better precede, than follow after, Marriage.
“Delivering my Sentiments thus, will not, I hope, lead you into a belief that I am desirous of breaking off the Match; to postpone it, is all I have in view; for I shall recommend it to the young Gentleman with the warmth that becomes a man of honour, (notwithstanding he did not vouchsafe to consult either his Mother or me, on the occasion) to consider himself as much engaged to your Daughter as if the indissoluble Knot was tied; and, as the surest means of effecting this, to stick close to his Studies, (in which I flatter myself you will join me) by which he will, in a great measure, avoid those little Flirtations with other Girls which may, by dividing the Attention, contribute not a little to divide the Affection.
“It may be expected of me perhaps to say something of Fortune, But, to discend to particulars, at this time, may seem rather premature. In general therefore I shall inform you that Mr. Custis’s Estate consists of about 15,000 Acres of Land, good part of it adjoining to the City of Williamsburg, and none 40 Miles from it; several Lotts in the said City; between two and three hundred Negroes; and about Eight or ten thousand Pounds upon Bond, and in the hands of his Merchants. This Estate he now holds Independent of his Mother’s Dower, which will be an acquisition to it at her Death, and upon the whole such an one as you will readily acknowledge ought to entitle him to a handsome Portion in a Wife; But, as I should never require a Child of my own to make a Sacrifice of himself to Interest, so, neither do I think it incumbent on me to recommend it as a Guardian; but as I know you are full able, I should hope, and expect, if we were now upon the point of Settling these Preliminaries, that you would also be willing to do something genteel by your Daughter.
“At all times when you, Mrs. Calvert, or the young Ladies can make it convenient to favor us with a visit we should be happy in seeing you at this place. Mrs. Washington and Miss Custis join me in respectful Compliments and I am, dear Sir, etc.” Ibid., vol. 3, 4-25, 1773. To Burwell Bassett, “Mrs. Washington, in her letter to Mrs. Bassett, informs her of Jack Custis’s engagement with Nelly Calvert, second daughter of Benedict Calvert, Esq., of Maryland. I shall say nothing further therefore on the subject than that I could have wished b e had postponed entering into that engagement till his studies were finished. Not that I have any objection to the match, as she is a girl of exceeding good character; but because I fear, as he has discovered much fickleness already, that he may either change, and therefore injure the young lady; or that it may precipitate him into a marriage before, I am certain, he has ever bestowed a serious thought of the consequences; by which means his education is interrupted and he perhaps wishing to be at liberty again before he is fairly embarked on those important duties.”
34 Ibid., vol. 3, 2-15, 1773. To Burwell Bassett. “Our celebrated fortune, Miss French, whom half the world was in pursuit of, bestowed her hand on Wednesday last, being her birthday (you perceive I think myself under a necessity of accounting for the choice) upon Mr. Ben Dulany, who is to take her to Maryland in a month from this time. Mentioning of one wedding puts me in mind of another, tho’ of less dignity; this is the marriage of Mr. Henderson (of Colchester) to a Miss More (of the same place) remarkable for a very frizzled head, and good singing, the latter of which I shall presume it was that captivated our merchant.”
35 Ibid., vol. 11, 3-11-1778. WGW, vol. 9, 8-18-1777. To Capt. Thomas Nelson, Jr. Ibid., vol. 23, 2-8-1782. To William Fitzhugh. Ibid., vol. 27, 10-2-1783. To Lt. Col. Tench Tilghman. Ibid., vol. 28, 9-1-1785. To Marquis de Lafayette. Ibid., vol. 28, 8-10-1786. To Charles Armand-Tuffin. Ibid., vol. 37, 12-27-1780. To Lt. Col. Alexander Hamilton. Ibid., vol. 3, 2-15-1773. To Burwell Bassett. Ibid., vol. 3, 12-15-1773. To Reverend Myles Cooper. Ibid., vol. 2, 9-30-1757.
36 Ibid., vol. 5-23-1785. To Burwell Bassett. Cf. Ibid., vol. 27, 9-20-1783.
37 Fitzpatrick, Diaries of George Washington, Nov. 17, 1751. vol. 1, p. 25.
38 Fields, Worthy Partner, p. 152-153.
39 Fields, Worthy Partner, p. 153-154 footnote. “Mrs. Washington is alleged to have written a sentimental letter to Eleanor Calvert Custis. The text of the letter first appeared in Lossing, Mary and Martha, the Mother and the Wife of George Washington, p. 126, New York 1886. The text as given by Lossing is as follows: “My dear Nelly: God took from my Daughter when June Roses were blooming. He has now given me another daughter about her age when winter winds are blowing, to warm my heart again. I am as happy as one so afflicted and blest can be. Pray receive my benediction and a wish that you may long live the loving, wife of my happy son and a loving daughter of your affectionate mother, M Washington.” Martha Washington did not attend the marriage ceremony, since she was in mourning and did not wish to detract from the gaiety of the occasion. Lossing states George Washington was instructed to present the letter to the bride immediately after the ceremony....”
40 Cf. Willard Sterne Randall, George Washington A Life (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1997) p. 256.
41 See John Corbin, The Unknown Washington: Biographic Origins of the Republic (New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1930), pp. 51-75. Corbin writes, “In 1877, two love letters written by Washington to Mrs. George William Fairfax were published for the first time and caused a sensation which, though masked for decades by biographers, has steadily increased. They had been found among Mrs. Fairfax’s papers upon her death in England in 1811, and her kinsfolk in America had treasured them through two generations in the awed silence of Victorian propriety. The Fairfaxes were Washington’s nearest friends until shortly before the Revolution, their house, Belvoir, being five miles down the Potomac from Mount Vernon and in full view of it. Though George Fairfax was eight years older, the two men had been intimate, surveying electioneering and fox-hunting together, from the time Washington, aged sixteen, came to live with his brother Lawrence. There is abundant evidence, notably in Washington’s diaries, that Mrs. Fairfax and Mrs. Washington were neighborly always, dining and visiting with each other, and were the first to offer sympathy in illness and bereavement. The letters were written in 1758, when Washington, aged twenty-six, was engaged to Martha Custis. Though they are reticently worded and indeed seem intentionally vague and obscure, they are now generally accepted as showing that he was passionately in love with Mrs. Fairfax. One of them speaks of the ‘the recollection of a thousand tender passages that I could wish to obliterate, till I am bid to revive them’—and what follows, as we shall see, is proof enough that these passages were not with Martha. In two later letters, one of them written only nineteen months before he died, he declared that the moments he had spent in her company were ‘the happiest in my life.’ We have here, obviously, something very different from the legend of idyllic love which the Victorians wove about the lives of George and Martha Washington. Whether it is in the way of scandal depends upon the nature of the ‘thousand tender passages.’ That question has obsessed recent biographers.” Pp. 51-52. Corbin then adds, “Every record of Washington’s married life bespeaks affection and happiness, a loyal and unflagging co-operation in the high art of living—but also bespeaks, though in the highest sense of the word, a marriage of convenience. Knowing what we do of his instinctive wisdom and integrity, we may well believe that, so far as he as in honor bound, he did not conceal or embellish the state of his heart. It was literal truth that their lives were ‘inseparable’; nor can we doubt that he cherished her always as ‘another self.’ In a very different view are his two letters of the following September to Sally, letters which she treasured to her death. Paul Leicester Ford’s objection that the evidence of their authenticity ‘has not been produced’ is scarcely worthy of consideration. In writing the first daft of his little biography, Captain Cary, a devoted antiquary and genealogist, had access to Sally’s papers and copied them. The final draft was prepared as an answer to Ford, but was still in manuscript when Captain Cary died...In such matters family tradition is of great weight, and in this case it is of the clearest and most substantial. It is sustained, moreover, by evidence both external and internal, which is beyond the power of the cleverest impostor to invent. The letters as also that written in 1757 on Washington’s return from the front to Mount Vernon fall in perfectly with all the evidence as to his mood and movements, most of which is now for the first time assembled; and they bear the stamp of his character and habit down to the unrevised sentence-structure and elaborate punctuation. The autograph originals could scarcely be more convincing.” P. 64.
42 Howard F. Bremer, George Washington 1732-1799: Chronology—Documents—Bibliographical Aids (Dobbs Ferry, N. Y.: Oceana Publications, 1967), p. 1. Bremer writes, “December 17, 1748, “George William Fairfax married Sarah (“Sally”) Cary. George Washington, two years her junior, fell in love with her and probably remained so all his life.”
43 Hughes, George Washington: The Human Being vol. 1.
“The Reverend Doctor Moncure D. Conway makes a statement that is impressive in view of the emphasis unjustifiably laid on the imaginary doctrine that Washington was brought up in an atmosphere of intense religion: “In his many letters to his adopted nephew and young relatives, he admonishes them about their morals, but in no case have I been able to discover any suggestion that they should read the Bible, keep the Sabbath, go to church, or any warning against Infidelity.”
44 An important consideration that we must consider is why Washington did not do what his mother and various others of his progenitors had done, namely, placed a testimony of trust in Christ in their last will and testament. Washington did not do this. From this, some would infer that he was not a Christian, and that it thus stands as a proof of a belief in Deism. And as to his death without the presence of a clergyman, and thus the reception of the Eucharist, we find that this question was raised by Washington’s grandson, George Washington Parke Custis. GWP Custis in Recollections asks the question, “It may be asked, Why was the ministry of religion wanting to shed its peaceful and benign luster upon the last hours of Washington? Why was he, to whom the observances of sacred things were ever primary duties throughout life, without their consolations in his last moments? We answer, circumstances did not permit. It was but for a little while that the disease assumed so threatening a character as to forbid the encouragement of hope; yet, to stay that summons which none may refuse, to give still farther length of days to him whose ‘time-honored life’ was so dear to mankind, prayer was not wanting to the throne of Grace. Close to the couch of the sufferer, resting her head upon that ancient book, with which she had been wont to hold pious communion a portion of every day, for more than a half a century, was the venerable consort, absorbed in silent prayer, and from which she only arose when the mourning group prepared to lead her from the chamber of the dead. Such were the last hours of Washington.” p. 477.
45 Humphreys, Life of George Washington, p.6-8
“By a domestic tutor (which was then generally & is now frequently the mode of education practiced in that part of the Continent) he was betimes instructed in the principles of grammar, the theory of reasoning, on speaking, the science of numbers, the elements of geometry, & the highest branches of mathematics, the art of mensuration, composing together with the rudiments of geography, history & the studies which are not improperly termed “the humanities.” In the graceful accomplishments of dancing, fencing, riding & performing the military exercises he likewise made an early & conspicuous proficiency. In short, he was carefully initiated into whatever might be most useful to him, in making his way to preferment in the British army or navy, for which he was designed.
“Though he was rather unsure & reserved in his appearance; he was frequently animated & fluent in conversation & always descreed in conduct. & In the performance of any business committed to him, he was active, indefatigable, persevering. [He was noted for] His tall stature, for he was clear six feet high without his shoes; his gentiel deportment, for he had something uncommonly noble in his manners; his modest behaviour, which, without being the result of ill-becoming diffidence.
“[He was] remarkably robust & athletic. I several times heard him say, he never met any man who could throw a stone to so great a distance as himself; and, that when standing in the valley beneath the natural bridge in Virginia, he was thrown one up to that stupendous arch.
“[H]unting & Surveying – the first gave him activity & boldness – the second the means of improving the Coup d’oeil in judging of military positions & measuring by the eye the distance between different places. – Patience & perseverance in reconnoitering – how often he spent whole days on horseback, braving the ravages of the most violent heat & cold that ever was experienced in our climate.
“As it was the design of his Father that he should be bred for an Officer in the British navy, his mental acquisitions & exterior accomplishments were calculated to give him distinction in that profession. <GW note: it was rather the wish of my eldest brother (on whom the several concerns of the family devolved) that this should take place & the matter was contemplated by him – My father died with I was only 10 years old.> At 15 years old, he was entered a midshipman on board of the [blank] & his baggage prepared for embarkation: but the plan was abandoned in consequence of the earnest solicitations of his Mother.
46 Custis, Recollections p. 131.
47 Willard Sterne Randall, George Washington A Life (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1997) p. 256. Sterne writes: “Washington was not a deeply religious man. Once he left his Bible-thumping mother’s household he may never have taken Anglican communion again.” We believe Sterne is wrong on all counts in this unsubstantiated, but characteristically dogmatic remark.
48 Sawyer, Washington, pp. 166-168.
49 WGW, vol. 1, 5-6-1755. To Mary Washington.
50 http://memory.loc.gov/mss/mgw/mgw2/014/0190013.jpg
51 Ibid., vol. 29, 8-15-1787.
52 Sawyer, Washington, Vol 2 p. 157.
53 WGW, vol. 2, 9-30-1757.
54 Ibid., vol. 29, 2-15-1787.
55 Washington was much concerned for the financial welfare of his mother, and made it clear in this letter to Benjamin Harrison that her children would ensure that she was taken care of, even to their own personal detriment: “ ...confident I am that she has not a child that would not divide the last sixpence to relive her from real distress. This she has been repeatedly assured of by me; and all of us I am certain would feel much hurt, at having our mother a pensioner, while we had the means of supporting her; but in fact she has an ample income of her own. I lament accordingly that your letter, which conveyed the first hint of this matter, did not come to my hands sooner; but I request, in pointed terms, if the matter is now in agitation in your Assembly, that all proceedings on it may be stopped, or in case of a decision in her favor, that it may be done away and repealed at my request.” (to Benjamin Harrison, New Windsor, March 21, 1781) Ibid., vol. 21, 3-21-1781. One of the traditions of Mary Washington’s impact on George’s adult life from childhood training is the anecdote entitled, “Let The Pen-Knife take the place of the Hatchet.” This is again unable to be substantiated, but it has been preserved as part of the legends of Washington’s childhood. Reverend Littell writes,
Unquestionably, a truth-loving disposition was imparted this child “virtuously brought to lead a godly and a Christian life,” though we discard the story of the hatchet and the cherry tree. But there is a story of a pen-knife which illustrates at one and the same time his filial affection, his military spirit, and his good Christian hope in the final success of his country’s just cause.
“When Washington was about fifteen year old, his brother obtained for him a midshipman’s warrant in the British navy. The boy’s kit had been carried aboard, and he himself was on the point of following it, when a messenger from his mother overtook him and brought her final word that he was not to go. He went back home- back to school and mathematics which he did not like. In reward for his obedience, his mother presented him with a good pen-knife says, ‘always obey your superiors,’ All his life he carried that gift and from time to time he was accustomed to tell the story to some of his friends. One day at Valley Forge, when the half-naked men had eaten no meat for many days, and when once more Congress had failed to provide or even suggest a way for getting food and clothes, Washington wrote out his resignation as Commander-in-Chief of the Army. Among the generals present was Henry Knox, who spoke out reminding him of the pen-knife. ‘What has that to do with it?’ asked Washington. ‘You were always to obey your superiors,’ answered Knox; ‘You were commanded to lead this army. No one has commanded you to cease leading it.’ Washington paused and then answered: ‘There is something in that. I will think it over.’ Half an hour later, he tore his resignation to pieces.” Reverend John Stockton Littell, D.D. George Washington: Christian Stories of Cross and Flag No 1 (Keene, N. H.: The Hampshire Art Press, 1913).
56 WGW, vol. 21, 3-21-1781. To Benjamin Harrison, “My Dr. Sir: Upon my return to this place last night, I met your private and friendly letter of the 25th. of February. I do not delay a moment to thank you for the interesting matter contained in it, and to express my surprize at that part which respects a pension for my mother. True it is, I am but little acquainted with her present situation, or distresses, if she is under any. As true it is, a year or two before I left Virginia (to make her latter days comfortable, and free from care) I did, at her request but at my own expence, purchase a commodious house, garden and Lotts (of her own choosing) in Fredericksburg, that she might be near my Sister Lewis, her only daughter; and did moreover agree to take her Land and negroes at a certain yearly rent, to be fixed by Colo. Lewis and others (of her own nomination) which has been an annual expence to me ever since, as the Estate never raised one half of the rent I was to pay. Before I left Virginia, I answered all her calls for money; and since that period, have directed my Steward to do the same. Whence her distresses can arise therefore, I know not, never having received any complaint of his inattention or neglect on that head; tho’ his inability to pay my own taxes, is such I know, as to oblige me to sell negroes for this purpose; the taxes being the most unequal (I am told) in the world, some persons paying for things of equal value, four times, nay ten times, the rate that others do. But putting these things aside, which I could not avoid mentioning, in exculpation of a presumptive want of duty on my part; confident I am that she has not a child that would not divide the last sixpence to relieve her from real distress. This she has been repeatedly assured of by me: and all of us, I am certain, would feel much hurt, at having our mother a pensioner, while we had the means of supporting her; but in fact she has an ample income of her own. I lament accordingly that your letter, which conveyed the first hint of this matter, did not come to my hands sooner; but I request, in pointed terms if the matter is now in agitation in your assembly, that all proceedings on it may be stopped, or in case of a decision in her favor, that it may be done away, and repealed at my request.”
57 Ibid., vol. 29, February 15, 1787.
58 Lossing, Mary and Martha, pp. 64 - 65. When Lafayette praised the illustrious character of her son affirming the plaudits that he would receive from future generations, she characteristically responded with “I am not surprised at what George has done, for he was always a good boy.”; Sawyer, Washington vol. 2 p. 155. Ibid., vol. 28, 5-10-1786. To Marchionesse de Lafayette. “My Mother will receive the compliments you honor her with, as a flattering mark of your attention; and I shall have great pleasure in delivering them myself.”
