APPENDIX ONE

The Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation

George Washington, sometime before the age of sixteen, transcribed these Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation. Most historians of Washington see a great deal of consistency between his life and these rules for “civility and decent behaviour.” The evidence is also clear that Washington’s father, Augustine, and his two older half brothers were exposed to these rules as well, since they were part of the basic education of the Appleby School in England, where both boys had been educated. Rules 108 to 110 lay the groundwork for a life of exemplary piety. (Original errors in numbering have been corrected; original spelling is unchanged.)¹

1ST: Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2ND: When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered.

3RD: Shew Nothing to your Freind that may affright him.

4TH: In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

5TH: If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkercheif or Hand before your face and turn aside.

6TH: Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

7TH: Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Drest.

8TH: At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

9TH: Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

10TH: When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

11TH: Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

12TH: Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.

13TH: Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.

14TH: Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.

15TH: Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Shewing any great Concern for them.

16TH: Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.

17TH: Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play’d Withal.

18TH: Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unask’d also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.

19TH: let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.

20TH: The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.

21ST: Reproach none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.

22ND: Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23RD: When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.

24TH: Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.

25TH: Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.

26TH: In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

27TH: Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it’s due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask’d; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.

28TH: If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.

29TH: When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.

30TH: In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the middest Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

31ST: If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

32ND: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who ‘tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33RD: They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.

34TH: It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.

35TH: Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

36TH: Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.

37TH: In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

38TH: In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.

39TH: In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

40TH: Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.

41ST: Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.

42ND: Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.

43RD: Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

44TH: When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

45TH: Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.