“Is it that obvious?”

Stranna nibbles at the crust on her sourdough. “You know you can stay here, Cain. We’ll take care of your body.”

My throat constricts, and I barely manage to swallow the final blueberry. Why would they do that? It’s kind of Stranna to offer, but I can’t picture Erik or Jules picking up the mantle to feed me broth while I’m in an eternal coma. I won’t wake like they do if I get killed. My life would depend on their deaths because they’re only in this house once they’ve died in the Nightmare.

“I know all of this is crude, but it works.” Her face flushes, and she fiddles with the bowl of blueberries, digging through them and picking off random tiny stems.

Does she want me to stay?

I want to stay. This place feels similar to what I experienced in the golden wheat field. Safe. Warm. But I can’t count on them to keep me alive—I can’t expect that of them. And I want the cure.

She’ll understand someday.

She glances up at me. “Stay, Cain.”

I almost cave. But my body’s location won’t make a difference. In less than two hours I will fall asleep for good. Whether in a LifeSuPod or here in the Adelphoi house, I’ll forget all about the Real World until we enact the cure. To stay would strain the resources of Stranna and the other Adelphoi.

So I might as well be in a LifeSuPod.

But I can’t risk Stranna following me or trying to stop me if she learns my real plan.

“Thank you, Stranna. That’s more than I ever hoped.”

Her face breaks into a full-out grin. “Good. Well, if you’re going to stay—no matter how long you’re awake—you need to pull your weight.”

I play along. Maybe because I want to imagine I am staying, at least for a moment. “Command me, oh gardener.”

“Do you know what weeds look like?”

It’s such a simple question that a child should be able to answer. “Not really, but I know chickens. When’s the last time someone cleaned the coop?”

“If you’re volunteering for chicken-poop duty, you got it. Not that respectable, but fairly admirable.” She grins again.

“A guy can try.” You’re about to admire me a lot less. I wash my plate and put it on the drying rack, fully aware of Stranna watching me.

“Stranna.” Jules pops her head into the kitchen. “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay, be right there.” Stranna slides gingerly off her stool. She stops, one hand on the doorframe. “There’s a shovel in the shed and we should have some leftover straw for their nesting boxes. But first, overalls and T-shirts are in a closet upstairs. Unisex. Find your size.”

“Overalls?” I glance down at my clothes. The hem is torn and flopping with every step, blood soaks through different sections of the denim, and a few gashes in the material make me look like I’m trying way too hard to be cool and edgy. I’m lucky these clothes are still hanging on to my body.

But overalls? I don’t think I’ve ever worn overalls in my life.

“Baggy, sturdy, and way easier for different body types to fit into.” She hooks her thumbs in her own overall straps and whistles a short bit of “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” as she leaves the kitchen.

I smile, but my heart isn’t fully in it.

Jules is already deep into the garden, the vigor with which she gathers fallen sticks from the trees surrounding the backyard reveals her tension. Stranna lays a hand on her shoulder and Jules relaxes, then straightens with a deep breath.

Then their conversation begins.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to the glass door.

I head upstairs. It took mere minutes to get enraptured with the Adelphoi life of gardening and clean clothes and a full belly. Do I really think I can save Galilei and get my LifeSuPod with the time I have left? Might it not be better to give up on that and stay here, where an enticing life is being offered and is tangible?

But it would mean giving up on the cure. And I’ve already sacrificed so much to get this LifeSuPod. I can’t stop now.

Still, something in me tells me to let it go. To stay here in the Adelphoi house. Is this how Stranna felt when she left to get Olivia a cure? Did she feel a prompting or nudge and then ignore it?

I come to a full stop on the stairs, as if moving another foot will make the decision for me before I give my head a chance. I want to shovel chicken poop. I don’t want to go save the old, dying father of the Emperor-boy who’s about to murder Stranna’s friends.

But the LifeSuPod. The cure. I take in a breath. I’m not going to follow some subtle faith-nudge that Stranna mentioned. God can’t possibly want me to give up now. That would mean He’s allowing this Nightmare to win. And no matter how tenuous my relationship is with Him, I can’t believe that to be true.

Besides, the Adelphoi aren’t loyal to me. Only Stranna seems interested in helping me. Jules saved us from the desert because Stranna was with me. I doubt they’d have come for me if I’d been alone.

My hand grips the banister so tightly I’m surprised the wood doesn’t crack. I have to go. I have to leave Stranna and her chickens. Maybe I can explain it to her inside Tenebra. At the very least I’ll be able to do more to help her and the other Adelphoi.

So why does this feel like I’m betraying her?

The Adelphoi are the ones who cut power to Galilei’s high-rise. They tried to kill him. I’m about to save him. That’s why.

I’m undoing their work. But their work held the intent of murder.

I take the steps two at a time and trip on the torn hem of my jeans. On the balcony, I yank open the closet door and get what I need. I change quickly and then head back downstairs. I peek out a window to make sure Stranna is still working the garden. She and Jules are talking close and intense, but moving through the garden as they speak. Stranna sets a shovel and straw along the outside of the shed for me and gives a brief glance toward the house. I turn away quickly and don’t look again.

I explore as quietly as I can and perk up at a hanger of keys on the wall behind the door near the base of the stairs. Before touching any of them, I peek through the door into a garage.

A small pickup truck, a rickety SUV, and the smell of gasoline. The best perfume I could have encountered. I grab the lone Ford key from the wall, slip into the garage, and give the key a half turn in the ignition of the pickup.

The gas gauge bounces upward until it points toward Full.

I can’t believe they’d leave it full. That they’d leave the key right here. I suppose it makes sense, that way any of them can access it if needed. They’re too trusting.

I head back inside and tuck the key to the SUV inside one of the shoes by the door. They’ll find it eventually, but that search will buy me enough time to get away without being followed. I don’t want to leave them stranded. On a whim I snag the candle from the bathroom. After rummaging through the drawers, I find a plastic lighter and go back to the garage.

I punch the garage door button.

Nothing happens. Of course not, there isn’t electricity. It takes a minute or two before I find the lock on the garage door, then I haul it open. It creaks and groans, screaming my betrayal to the silent cul-de-sac.

I jump into the pickup truck, turn the key, and back out. It’s an automatic. My right hand misses the tangibility of a stick. But without The Fire Swamp on the back, I feel like I’m flying backward out of the garage and down the driveway.

As I crank the wheel to turn around, I see her. Stranna stands in the open door of the garage. Not running after me, not hollering, just standing. With crossed arms and a furious look.

“Sorry,” I mouth.

Then I drive away.