My mind and heart struggle to accept that a legend I wanted to believe in so desperately is nothing more than a myth. A magic that simply never existed.
A devastating truth I now must face.
*
As Ellie became lost in her grief, she never considered that some magic happens over time, especially one as powerful as love. She also had no idea that Gunnar felt something immeasurable that night, something that would later change his perception of true love and its existence.
Ellie
Sixteen Years Later
The afternoon sun warms my skin as I walk down Main Street, heading toward the only mechanic shop in town. One that just so happens to be owned by my very best friend.
My hands are full of takeout from Gunnar’s favorite restaurant and the flower arrangement I made just for him. I changed things up this time, using mostly greens and avoiding any pink, hoping he will find it a little less girly.
Every month I make an arrangement for his shop, much to his dismay, but he puts up with it because he knows I love to do it and it’s free advertising for me. Not that I need it since I own the only flower shop in Passion Falls, perks to living in a small town. Still, it’s nice to have my creations be seen elsewhere.
It’s also a good reminder for all the men who walk in there to treat their loved ones from time to time because a thoughtful gesture can go a long way. Even a single flower can brighten someone’s day. It sure brightens mine, which is why I love what I do. A dream that would have taken much longer to happen if not for the money Paw left me.
Now, let’s hope all of this will brighten Gunnar’s day and butter him up for the bombshell I am about to drop. Though, I am not sure anything can prepare him for what I am about to say.
How do you tell your best friend of seventeen years that you have decided to have a baby by artificial insemination, and then ask if he would like to be the sperm donor?
God, it sounds crazy even in my head. Not the baby part because that is the one thing I am certain about. I have always wanted to be a mother, and I have always wanted a big family, something I never had growing up.
As much as I loved life with Paw, it could get lonely at times, and if I’m being honest, it’s still lonely, especially with Paw being gone. He was the only family I had and I miss him dearly.
Sure, I have the flower shop and my friends to keep me busy, but it’s not the same, especially when it’s time to go home to an empty house.
I always thought I would be married by now and have the white picket fence, but my dating life has been pretty much nonexistent. Actually, it’s downright pathetic. Being a virgin at twenty-four years old proves it.
Unfortunately, the pick of men in Passion Falls has always been slim. The good ones are either already taken or I’m too good of friends with them to cross that line. I suppose asking Gunnar to be the father of my child could technically be crossing a line, but it’s not like I’m asking him to have sex with me for heaven’s sake.
Though I’ll be honest and say the thought has crossed my mind a time or two, just so I could say I am not a virgin anymore, but I quickly decided against it. I’m not willing to risk our friendship. Sex complicates things. At least, I think it does. Guess I can’t be sure since I’ve never done it before, but I’m assuming it would …
In the end, it doesn’t matter because I have decided I do not need to be in a relationship to have a baby. There are other options available. One specifically that I have been exploring for the last several months and there is an opportunity this Friday to start the process. I just need to see if Gunnar is willing to be the donor or if it will be a complete stranger.
I’m hoping for the first option because I think raising a child with my best friend would be pretty awesome. It would also be convenient since we are already so entwined in each other’s lives, even working right down the street from each other. It doesn’t get much more convenient than that.
That said, I am willing to settle for the second option if it means getting to have a child of my own to love and care for. I also know Gunnar will be a part of our lives no matter what because he’s my constant, the one person who has been by my side through it all, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. How involved he will be and what role he will play, we will soon find out.
The mechanic shop comes into view, sending a mixture of nerves and excitement dancing in my belly. Nerves because I know this is going to catch him off guard, but also excitement because he will be the first person I share this with. I haven’t even told my closest girlfriends.
It’s been hard to keep this to myself, but I haven’t wanted to say anything until I was sure this was the route I wanted to go. Now that I am, I’m ready to share it with the world, but first … Gunnar.
I enter through the open overhead door only to be greeted by the usual sounds of loud machinery and blaring rock music. The familiar smell of spilled oil and burning rubber penetrates my senses, a scent I will forever associate with Gunnar.
Looking around, I find Mitch, Gavin, and the new apprentice, James, all hard at work, but I see no sign of Gunnar. I do, however, spot Ryland in the far back corner, my heart lighting up at the sight of him working under the hood of a car.
So much for retirement.
As if sensing my presence, he looks my way, a jovial smile smothering his aging yet still very handsome face. If it wasn’t for the soft lines etching his features or the gray mixing with his sandy brown hair, you’d never know he just turned sixty. “Well, look who it is.”
Everyone glances up from their task, greeting me with a smile and a wave. “Hey, Ellie.”
“Hey, guys.”
Ryland gestures me over. “Get your cute butt over here, young lady, and lay one on me.”
Giggling, I walk over, lift to my tiptoes, and plant a loud smooch on his stubbly cheek.
His arm curls around my waist, pulling me in at his side. “How’s my girl doing today?” he asks, warming my heart.
Next to Paw, Ryland Brooks is the best man I’ve ever known. He’s a little rough around the edges, being former military and all, but his kind heart and fierce love for Gunnar overshadows it.
“I’m good. How about you? I see you’re enjoying retirement,” I tease.
He chuckles good-naturedly. “Well, you know what they say, you can take the man from the job, but you can’t take the job from the man.”
Gunnar and I knew he wouldn’t walk away, at least not completely. I think he only announced retirement early because he wanted Gunnar to finally have this place as his own. Something Ryland started just for him.
Woof.
I turn at the old, raspy bark and find the sweetest fur creature in all the land.
“Bear!” I squeal his name, greeting him the same way I always do.
