The way she speaks about it, as if she is already carrying my baby, ignites another wave of panic through my chest.
Shoving from my chair, I begin pacing the room, needing to expel these overwhelming emotions trying to suffocate me.
“I wouldn’t ask you to do this with me if I didn’t think you would be an amazing father,” she says. “I know you, Gunnar. I know your heart. Just look at the way you have taken care of me all these years.”
I come to a hard stop, gaping at her in disbelief. “You’re a human being, Ellie!”
“So is a baby.” She laughs. “They grow into children then become adults just like we did.”
“You know what I mean,” I counter, refusing to show any humor in this. “Have you thought this through, Elle? I mean really thought about it?”
Annoyance sparks in her gaze. “No, Gunnar, I haven’t. I just woke up this morning and thought, ‘Gee, I think I want to be a mom. I wonder if Gunnar will be the father. I’m going to bring him lunch and ask’,” she mocks sarcastically. “Of course I’ve thought about it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, but since I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin, I figure it’s time to assess my options!” Her voice pitches at the last part, loud enough that it trails out of the office and draws Mitch’s attention as he walks by.
He stops in his tracks, his eyes flaring wide as he looks over at us.
“Mind your fucking business.” I slam the door shut in his face before turning back on Ellie. “You’re the one who needs to keep it down. No one needs to know you’re a damn virgin.”
“Oh, please,” she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Considering my lack of dating life, I’m sure it doesn’t come as a shock to anyone.”
Maybe not, but I know what it does to a man to hear that, and I don’t need to be firing anyone for getting hard for her or even worse, trying to be the one to take it from her … I quickly shove the thought away before I really lose my shit.
“What about your business?” I ask, thinking about all the hard work she has put into it.
“What about it?” She shrugs. “I can be a mom and have a business. Women do it all the time.”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.”
Anger sharpens her features. “I’m not stupid, Gunnar. I know what this is going to take, and I am prepared to put the work in.”
I drop my head, frustrated that I am not getting through to her.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to take in,” she says, making the biggest fucking understatement of the century. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you. I thought I would have more time.”
“That’s just it, you do, Ellie,” I press, wondering why she doesn’t understand that. “You have all the time in the world.”
“Actually, I don’t,” she murmurs, her voice barely audible.
A fresh wave of panic infiltrates my chest. “What are you talking about?”
Her tongue flicks out, nervously wetting her lips. “The clinic I’ve been seeing had a cancellation, and I took the slot.”
Every muscle in my body locks up tight, including my breath. “When?” I croak, barely managing that one word.
She hesitates, her silence unbearable.
“When, Ellie?” I growl, my tone rough.
She straightens, finding her resolve. “Friday.”
“Friday!” I roar, my voice reaching a level I never knew I had. “Are you fucking insane? No! Absolutely not. I forbid this.”
She jerks back, eyes wide. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’re not doing this.”
She lunges from her chair, jabbing a finger into my chest. “You listen to me, Gunnar Brooks. No one tells me what I can or can’t do, and that includes you.”
I meet that challenge head-on. “Wrong, sweetheart. You need me for this, and I say no.”
Her eyes blaze as she glares up at me from beneath the brim of my cap. “You’re the one who’s wrong, sweetheart. I already have a donor lined up. I’m here because I want to be, not because I have to be.”
That revelation punches me in the gut, making me feel as though I might get sick. “What are you doing, Elle? Why are you rushing into this?”
“I’m not. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Her expression softens along with her voice. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and exploring all of my options. I’ve always wanted children, you know that. It might not be the way I planned for it to happen, but sometimes life throws us curve balls, you know that better than anyone.”
My jaw hardens, hating that she brings my past into this.
“I’m ready for this, Gunnar,” she continues, pressing further. “Ready to bring a child into this world to love and share my life with. I’m tired of being alone.”
“You are not alone,” I fire back. “You have me, and you damn well know it.”
“It’s not the same,” she chokes out, adding salt to the wound. “You’re not at my house when I come home every night. Or there in the morning when I wake up. It’s lonely.”
“Then get a dog,” I snap. “Hell, borrow Bear for a while if you want, he’ll keep you company.”
Woof. He barks at the sound of his name.
“You don’t have a kid because you’re bored.”
