“I know, but it’s also called the Mad King’s Castle,” Phoebe says. “Or, the Neuschwanstein Castle.”
“Well, I don’t know what it’s really called,” Lila says. “We just called it the Walt Disney Castle because Gary told me it was the castle that Disney used as a model for Sleeping Beauty’s. And Gary knows that I love all things Disney. So he planned to rent a car, drive us to the castle, and then propose outside the front doors. But we had been driving this stupid shitty rental thing that wouldn’t go above like sixty, and we were going to be late and miss the last tour of the day. So Gary stopped at a BMW rental place on the side of the Autobahn and picked up a new car that could go super fast.”
“There’s no speed limit on the Autobahn,” Lila adds. “It was exhilarating.”
Phoebe can see them so clearly. Gary, whoever he is, with his only-faintly-receding hairline blowing back in the wind, and Lila, her mouth big and full, laughing, eyes toward the sky.
“And when we got to the castle, he proposed,” Lila says with a smile. “I was actually really surprised. We had only been dating six months.”
“That’s so romantic,” Suz says
“He really is so wonderful,” Nat says.
But something isn’t sitting right with Marla. “Why is it also called the Mad King’s Castle?”
In the rearview mirror, Phoebe sees Lila’s eyes roll and Juice’s flicker up in interest.
“Because people thought the king who built it was insane,” Phoebe says.
“But why?”
“Because he built the castle using all his money, even though he had already built two other castles. He went into debt building this elaborate third castle just for himself, and so there were rumors that the king must be going mad.”
“Was he?” Marla asks.
“Eventually they found him drowned in the pond outside the castle.”
“He was murdered outside the Disney castle?” Lila asks.
“Actually, they suspect he killed himself,” Phoebe says, and meets eyes with Lila in the mirror.
“Of course he did,” Lila says, and leans back, defeated.
So Phoebe adds, “But not in front of the Disney castle. It was actually at one of his other castles.”
“Well, that’s good then,” Suz says, and like a loyal bridesmaid, she won’t let them linger on the Mad King’s suicide. “He went to Cornell, right?”
“The Mad King?” Marla asks.
“Gary!”
“Yale,” Lila says.
“He must be really smart,” Suz says.
“He is,” Lila says. “So smart.”
“He’s not that smart,” Marla says. “You know how many idiots get into Yale every day?”
Phoebe is irritated by Marla’s desire to ruin everything, even though Phoebe was the one ready to ruin Lila’s wedding last night. But there is something awful about doing it right in front of Lila’s face, in the middle of the afternoon.
“So wait, what’s your point?” Phoebe asks.
“My point is, Gary is not this Yale doctor hero. Sometimes Lila talks about him like he’s this god,” Marla says. “But I’ll have you all know that once, Gary lit our house on fire.”
“He lit your house on fire?” Lila asks. “How did I not know that?”
“He doesn’t lead with that,” Marla says. “Burned the entire kitchen down by accident and we had to live in a Marriott for a month. Best month of my life, to be honest. But don’t tell my brother that.”
The sun feels very hot above Phoebe. Marla starts covering herself with sunscreen.
I’m stroking it right now, Robert writes. Where are you?
Phoebe feels a twinge of delight, thinking about how embarrassed Marla will be at some point later when she realizes that Phoebe saw the messages.
“I really think we should put the top up,” Marla says.
“But it’s a convertible,” Suz says. “We got the convertible so that we could put the top down.”
“I’ve already had skin cancer and survived, twice, thanks. I don’t feel like dying because I got stuck in traffic,” Marla says.
“You’ve had skin cancer twice?” Nat says. “Holy shit.”
“Okay,” Lila says. “Fine. Let’s put the top up.”
In the enclosed car, in traffic, everything feels too quiet. There is something wrong here. People who are supposed to be bonding are not bonding.
“There’s never any traffic in The Gilded Age,” Suz says.
