“Yeah. Really.”
“Aren’t you guys supposed to break up though?” Brad asked.
That whole thing felt so unimportant to me at the moment, I’d almost entirely forgotten about the reason she’d come here. My goal had officially shifted. This was not a woman I wanted to end things with after four dates. I was already thinking of ways I could make our dates more special, things I could bring her or places I could take her.
I set Brad down on the floor and leaned over my keypad to send Emma an exit interview I made for her. “Hey, what do you think about Glensheen Mansion in Duluth,” I asked. “You think she’d like it? Should I take her there?”
Brad ate the rest of his sandwich. “Sure. That place is cool. So what does she think of you taking the kids in a few weeks?”
I felt the high from today evaporate. She didn’t know about the kids.
I didn’t tell her at first because I didn’t like to talk about it. And anyway, it wasn’t really going to matter since it wasn’t going to affect her. I never thought she’d come to Minnesota. In fact, I’d been pretty sure I wasn’t ever going to meet her at all. And now I had, and meeting her was bigger than I thought and I did have to tell her.
I wouldn’t have the kids forever, but it’d be long enough to matter. I wondered if that would change things for her.
I was getting ahead of myself. We’d been on one date. I didn’t even know if she liked me, and as of right now she was scheduled to leave in six weeks. I just had to focus on showing her a good time and getting to know her, and maybe, possibly, getting her to stay a little longer than she planned. I’d worry about the rest when I had to.
“I haven’t told her yet,” I said. “I haven’t gotten around to it.”
“Well, you better hurry. That shit’s coming up.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”
He wiped his fingers with a napkin. “Hey, I saw your mom earlier.”
I kept my eyes to the screen. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I think you need to spend more time with her,” he said.
My jaw flexed. “No.”
“Why?” he asked.
I turned to him. “Because I don’t want to?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think she’s doing great, man. She’s your mom. She needs your support.”
“I do support her. I’m dropping my whole life in a week to pick up the pieces she’s leaving. There’s not one thing she’s asked me to do that I haven’t done.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”
I looked away from him.
“Look, I get that it’s hard,” he said. “It’s shitty and fucked up. Nobody likes it. But she can’t undo it, man. She would if she could.”
“Yeah, well she can’t.”
Brad let the silence stretch out between us. It was useless arguing about this. Nothing he said would change how I felt. I could not forgive her for this. I didn’t want to spend more time with her or pretend like any of this was okay.
“I’m playing nice,” I said. “I do what she needs me to do. I’m polite and I’m speaking to her. And frankly that’s more than she deserves.”
I saw him give up the argument. He knew me well enough to know the conversation was over.
He pulled away from the counter. “All right. You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.” He knocked a knuckle on the granite. “I’ll see you.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you.”
He let himself out.
I dragged a hand down my mouth and swiveled to face the balcony. The Toilet King leered into my apartment.
If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy.
I couldn’t. At this point anger was all I had.
I got up and closed the blinds.
CHAPTER 13 EMMA
I swear to God, I smell like rust,” Maddy whispered, sniffing her arm. “Do I smell like rust? That water at the cottage is so gross.”
We were walking through the halls of the surgical floor of Royaume Northwestern behind the charge nurse, Hector, assigned to give us a tour. We’d done paperwork, gotten our badges, trained on Royaume’s electronic medical record system. The tour was the last part of the day, then we’d get our schedules and go home. Our first real shift was tomorrow.
“I can’t tell if you smell like rust because I probably smell like it too,” I whispered.
“We need a third party to confirm. Do you think Justin would have told you if you smelled?”
I thought about it, and our new agreement to be brutally honest with each other. “Yeah, I actually do.” I sniffed the inside of my shirt. I couldn’t smell it, but maybe I was used to it? “We’re probably okay. Though I’m showering in the locker room whenever I can.”
