I sat up against my headboard, amused.

Me: Can I call you?

Justin: I mean, yeah. 651-314-4444

For a moment I debated calling from a blocked number. He was nice, but I still didn’t know him. But I figured it was just as easy to block him later if he got creepy. I dialed and he picked up on the first ring. “Emma.”

I don’t know why, but his deep voice gave me a little flutter in my stomach for some reason.

“I don’t believe in this whole magical good luck charm thing,” I said without preamble.

“Neither do I.”

“I’m not superstitious.”

I heard him suck air through his teeth. “I’m a little stitious.”

I let a laugh out through my nose. “It’s just a coincidence,” I said. “You realize that, right?”

“I agree.” He paused. “But…”

“But? But what?”

“But what if it isn’t? I’m just playing devil’s advocate here. What if it isn’t? Brad said that everyone I’m serious enough to date more than twice is cosmically destined for someone else.” He went quiet for a beat. “Does nobody feel right to you? Like, there’s just enough there to give it a little go, but then the bottom falls out? Is that just me? Or is it like that for you also?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s like that for me too. But I just don’t think I’m meeting the right people.”

“Yeah, but maybe this is why,” he said. “It’s exhausting, starting over all the time, again and again. Like there’s no point. Like I’m trapped in some loop, partnered over and over with people I’m just supposed to redistribute down the line to someone else. I’m starting to wonder why I even bother. You know what Brad said that made me think? That when he saw Faith for the first time, it was like he got hit by a truck. It was that big.” He paused. “I haven’t had that moment. With anyone. I’m twenty-nine. I should have had that with someone by now, right?”

“I’m twenty-eight and I’ve never had a truck moment either,” I admitted.

“Do you want that?”

“Of course I want that. Who wouldn’t want to get hit by a love truck?”

“Look,” he said. “I know the idea’s a little out there. But if this is actually a thing, we’re in a pretty low-risk/high-reward situation. We’d just have to hang out a few times and then stop. That’s it. If what Brad said is true and we can’t find our person because everyone we’re interested in is meant for someone else, I would actually really like it if it stopped.”

I bobbed my head. “Okay, I’ll bite. So we what?”

I pictured a shrug. “I don’t know. We go on some dates, split up after. See if we can’t break the cycle. How many dates trigger the thing for you? It’s three for me.”

“It’s not dates for me. It’s length of time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to be seeing someone for at least a month for it to happen,” I said.

“Okay. And what does that look like? Do you have to see them every day?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s having contact every day. Texting or talking on the phone. And seeing each other at least once a week.”

He seemed to think about this.

“So me going out there wouldn’t work unless I stayed a month or I flew back and forth every week.”

“I think so.”

“That’s not really doable for me. Hawaii’s pretty far and I’ve got some family stuff going on. I can’t take off for that long.”

“Well,” I said. “I’ll be back on the mainland in three and a half months.”

“Yeah. Maybe then?”

“Sure. Sounds like fun.”

I couldn’t be sure, but I thought there was disappointment in the silence.

Maddy knocked on my doorframe. “Ready?”

I nodded and put up a finger. “I’ve got to go,” I said into the phone. “Maddy wants to watch a movie.”

Justin and I hung up, and I went out to the living room to watch Forrest Gump.

This movie always bugged me. Maybe because watching Jenny—Forrest’s beautiful, tortured love interest—reminded me too much of Mom.

Maddy must have been thinking the same thing. When the credits began to roll, she put the TV on mute and looked over at me. “Have you talked to Amber recently?” she asked.

“No,” I said.

“Do you know where she is?”

I paused a moment. “No. Her phone’s disconnected. Again.”

Maddy looked annoyed. “Probably didn’t pay the bill. You know, for someone who asks you for as much money as she does, she sure ends up in collections a lot. God, I hate her.”

I looked away from her. My relationship with my mother was complicated. It wasn’t complicated for Maddy though, she knew exactly how she felt about it.

“I called the cafe,” I said. “They said she quit three months ago. Just stopped showing up for work.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course.”

I’d stopped calling jails and hospitals years ago when this kind of thing happened. Filing a missing person’s report was a waste of time. Amber moved too fast, was too impulsive. She’d go to a concert and climb onto a tour bus and end up across the US. Or she’d meet a guy at a bar and get invited to live on his boat for four months in Florida.

The only time I knew for sure where my mother went was when she’d resurface suddenly. Then I’d get a little peace of mind for a few weeks until she vanished again.

Maddy shook her head. “I wouldn’t worry about it. She’s like black mold, she always comes back.”

She was right. She always did.