“I’ve had enough of that, too. Think I’ll go prospectin’.”

“What do we tell your family—Esther, Zeke, and the others?”

“I’ll visit ’em sometime. Maybe next spring.”

Before he left Klamath, Mac also wanted a word with Lt. Col. Drew. The morning after the expedition returned, he sought the officer out in his quarters. “Might I have a moment, Colonel?”

Drew looked up from paperwork, then stood and held out his hand. “You’re Caleb McDougall, William’s father?”

“I am.” Mac shook his hand, then sat when Drew gestured to a chair across from him. “I’m here to inquire why you took two underage boys with you on a military expedition.”

“They told Captain Kelly they were eighteen.”

Mac raised his eyebrows. “And you took them at their word? Did Joel Pershing confirm his younger brother’s age?”

“I always take my men at their word until they give me reason not to.” Drew took two cigars out of a drawer and offered one to Mac.

Waving his hand, Mac declined the cigar. “Will says you learned he was underage.”

“Not until we reached Fort Boise and I learned of your telegram. That was far too late to send him home, Mr. McDougall. It was safer to keep the boys with us.” Drew lit his cigar and leaned back in his chair. “Your boy has fine potential. Did he tell you he acted as my scribe for much of the journey?”

“Yes.”

“He’s intelligent, quick on his feet, and willing to follow orders,” Drew said. “Well, most of the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Will first came to my attention when he ran after his horse.”

“Shanty?”

Drew chuckled. “Is that the horse’s name? His mount and others were stolen by a gang of prospectors who thought they were stealing Indian ponies. I gather the horse has some Indian blood.”

Mac nodded. “His dam was an Indian pony.”

“Young Will acquitted himself well and came to no harm. When I learned he had some education, I asked him to take my dictation. It relieved my sergeants of that duty and my hand to hold my glass of whiskey. I called it Will’s punishment for disobeying orders, but I suspect he enjoyed the task.” Drew paused to puff the cigar. “Because I thought he liked the scrivening, I stopped it when I needed to punish him further.”

“And why did he need punishment?” Mac had mixed opinions about Drew’s leadership skills, and it still upset him that no one had questioned the boys closely before taking them into the wilderness.

“Because I learned he was only sixteen.” Drew took another puff. “Though I understand he had a birthday a few weeks ago.”

“I see,” Mac said. “So as punishment for being too young, you ended the oversight you provided him while he scribed for you.”

Drew shrugged. “This is a military operation, not a boys’ school. I need to show discipline to my troops. And Will lied to Captain Kelly.” He leaned forward toward Mac. “Despite his occasional lapse in judgment, your son would make a fine Army officer, if you care to support him in that direction.”

“I’ll have to talk to his mother.” Jenny’s father had been an Army officer, but Mac didn’t think she wanted Will to pursue a military career. And certainly not while the War in the East continued. It would ultimately be Will’s choice, of course, but Mac wasn’t about to push the lad toward an undertaking Jenny didn’t condone. “I’ve been encouraging him to study at Harvard, as I did.”

“Harvard?” Drew grinned. “Will mentioned you’d gone there. How’d a Harvard man get to Oregon?”

“There are plenty of us in the West,” Mac said. “Even Harvard men relish the challenge of creating a civilized society out of wilderness. As it is, you kept Will on the trail too late for him to start in Boston this fall. When can the boys leave your command?”

Drew shrugged. “I have no more need of them. They can check out with the quartermaster and draw their pay. You can leave tomorrow.” He rose behind his desk. “And now I must present myself to my superiors to explain my delay in reaching the Indian treaty negotiations.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, I do not have high hopes that the government will make good on its promises to the tribes.”

Mac could tell when he was being dismissed. He stood, gave a curt nod to the colonel, and left.

That afternoon, Will listened to Mac berate him for leaving home. Mac no longer used the softer approach he’d taken the day before. Will supposed he deserved the admonishments. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Mama, but he’d known she would worry. At the least, he should have left a note.

But the note wouldn’t have said anything about the Owyhee Expedition, because Will had known nothing about the militia when he and Jonah left Oregon City. All he would have told Mama was that they were on their way to see Joel.

And if he’d told Mama they were searching for Joel, Mac would have been on their tails within hours. He and Jonah wouldn’t have made it to Jacksonville, they wouldn’t have found Joel, and they wouldn’t have gone on Drew’s expedition.

Will listened to Mac lecture him with half an ear. Mostly, he reflected on the past few months. Was he glad he’d gone on the expedition? It hadn’t been enjoyable, but he’d learned some things about himself. He’d learned he had the physical stamina to keep up with grown men like Joel and the quartermaster. He could do his superiors’ bidding and keep them satisfied with his performance. He had the courage to make decisions on his own when necessary—he’d rescued Shanty. He could think as well as a career military officer—he’d kept up with Drew and debated with him on occasion.

He heard Mac ask him again for the thousandth time, “Why’d you do it, son?”

“I’m not your son,” he answered. “I did it to find out who I am.”

Will’s response silenced Mac—the boy still didn’t see him as his father. That part of his answer was startling enough. But the other part of his answer surprised Mac even more—that Will sought to discover who he was.

At some point, every man had to look within and decide what kind of person he wanted to be. For Mac, the answers had come later than for Will, assuming Will had learned something over the last several months. Mac left Boston in forty-seven ashamed of himself, remorseful over lives he’d destroyed. Finding Jenny and rescuing her from the Johnsons and her stepfather felt like redemption. But after he took Jenny away from her home, Mac hadn’t known how to extricate himself from his responsibility for her. It took him years to discover his attachment to Jenny was no encumbrance. He came to welcome his care of Jenny and their children as his best path to salvation. And his salvation they had become.

Now, Mac asked Will, “What did you find out about who you are?”

Will shrugged. “I can do more than I thought I could. I can think for myself. Do for myself. Match wits with men around me.”

Mac nodded. “Those are excellent lessons for a man to learn.” He paused, then continued, “I asked you yesterday if you’d come home with me. Are you ready to do for yourself back home?”

Will sighed. “I’m still not sure where my home is,” he said, then added, “But I don’t have anywhere better to be. And I want to see Mama.”

Chapter 59: Returning Home

The next morning, Will and Jonah got in line to draw their pay. Will would have preferred to remain at the fort a while longer before leaving for Oregon City, but he was sure Mac wouldn’t agree to any delays.

“We’ll depart as soon as you’ve settled up,” Mac told Will. “I don’t want to be away from our family any longer than we must.”

Still, as he stood in line with other packers, the men shouting profane goodbyes as they headed in various directions, Will wished he had a goal in mind, something to look forward to, a plan. He wished he didn’t have to hightail it home with Mac like a small child.

The boys returned to Mac and Daniel, coins and bank drafts in hand. “They only paid us part in coin,” Jonah complained. “The rest we need to get from these drafts.”

“I’ll honor them,” Mac said. “When we reach Oregon City, I’ll exchange your drafts for coin. Face class, no discount.”