"No. And I won't. That's between you and him. But knowing him, I'm sure he'll findyou here if you stay. All it takes is a couple of phone calls to the right people. Afterall, I was able to find you."
Allie, though obviously worried, smiled at her mother. "Thank you," she said, and hermother reached for her hand.
"I know we've had our differences, Allie, and that we haven't seen eye to eye oneverything. I'm not perfect, but I did the best I could with raising you. I'm yourmother and I always will be. That means I'll always love you."
Allie was silent for a moment, then: "What should I do?"
"I don't know, Allie. That's up to you. But I would think about it. Think about whatyou really want."
Allie turned away, her eyes reddening. A moment later a tear drifted down her cheek.
"I don't know... ," she trailed off, and her mother squeezed her hand. Anne looked atNoah, who had been sitting with his head down,listening carefully. As if on cue, hereturned her gaze, nodded, and left the room. When he was gone, Anne whispered,
"Do you love him?"
"Yes, I do," Allie answered softly, "very much."
"Do you love Lon?"
"Yes, I do. I love him, too. Dearly, but in a different way. He doesn't make me feel theway Noah does."
"No one will ever do that," her mother said, and she released Allie's hand. "Ican't make this decision for you, Allie, this one's all yours. I want you to know,though, that I love you. And I always will. I know that doesn't help, but it's allI can do."
She reached in her pocketbook and removed a bundle of letters held together withstring, the envelopes old and slightly yellowed.
"These are the letters that Noah wrote you. I never threw them away, and theyhaven't been opened. I know I shouldn't have kept them from you, and I'm sorry forthat. But I was just trying to protect you. I didn't realize..." Allietook them and ran her hand over them, shocked.
"I should go, Allie. You've got some decisions to make, and you don't have much time.
Do you want me to stay in town?"
Allie shook her head. "No, this is up to me." Anne nodded and watched her daughterfor a moment, wondering. Finally she stood, went around the table, leaned over, andkissed her daughter on the cheek. She could see the question in her daughter's eyesas Allie stood from the table and embraced her.
"What are you going to do?" her mother asked, pulling back. There was a long pause.
"I don't know," Allie finally answered. They stood together for another minute, justholding each other.
"Thanks for coming," Allie said. "I love you." "I love you, too." On her way out thedoor, Allie thought that she heard her mother whisper, "Follow your heart," but shecouldn't be sure.
Crossroads
Noah opened the door for Anne Nelson as she went out.
"Good‐bye, Noah," she said quietly. He nodded without speaking. There wasn'tanything
else to say; they both knew that. She turned from him and left, closing the doorbehind her. Noah watched her walk to her car, get in, and drive away without looking
back. She was a strong woman, he thought to himself, and he knew where Allie gotit from.
Noah peeked in the living room, saw Allie sitting with her head down, then went tothe back porch, knowing that she needed to be alone. He sat quietly in his rockerand watched the water drifting by as the minutes passed.
After what seemed like an eternity he heard the back door open. He didn't turn tolook at her just then‐‐for some reason he couldn't‐‐and he listened as she sat in thechair beside him.
"I'm sorry," Allie said. "I had no idea this would happen."
Noah shook his head. "Don't be sorry. We both knew it was coming in some form oranother."
"It's still hard."
"I know." He finally turned to her, reaching for her hand. "Is there anything I can doto make it easier?"
She shook her head. "No. Not really. I have to do this alone. Besides, I'm not sure whatI'm going to say to him yet." She looked down and her voice became softer and a littlemore distant, as if she were talking to herself. "I guess it depends on him and howmuch he knows. If my mother was right, he may have suspicions, but he doesn't knowanything for sure."
Noah felt a tightness in his stomach. When he finally spoke his voice was steady, butshe could hear the pain in it.
"You're not going to tell him about us, are you ?"
"I don't know. I really don't. While I was in the living room, I kept asking myselfwhat I really wanted in my life." She squeezed his hand. "And do you know what theanswer was? The answer was that I wanted two things. First, I want you. I want us.
I love you and I always have."
She took a deep breath before going on.
"But I also want a happy ending without hurting anyone. And I know that if I stayed,people would be hurt. Especially Lon. I wasn't lying when I told you that I love him.
He doesn't make me feel the same way you do, but I care for him, and this wouldn'tbe fair to him. But staying here would also hurt my family and friends. I would bebetraying everyone I know I don't know if I can do that."
"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, evenif it hurts some people you love."
