"You do?"

"Who?"

"She went with Noah." "You're sure?" "Absolutely."

I smile and nod. "Yes, she did," I say softly, and she smiles back. Her face is radiant.

I pull out her chair with some effort. She sits and I sit opposite her. She offers herhand across the table, and I take it in mine, and I feel her thumb begin to move asit did so many years ago. Without speaking, ! stare at her for a long time, livingand reliving the moments of my life, remembering it all and making it real. I feel

my throat begin to tighten, and once again I realize how much I love her. My voiceis shaky when I finally speak.

"You're so beautiful," I say. I can see in her eyes that she knows how I feet about herand what I really mean by my words. She does not respond. Instead she lowers hereyes and I wonder what she's thinking.

She gives me no clues, and I gently squeeze her hand. I wait. With all my dreams,I know her heart, and I know I'm almost there.

And then, a miracle that proves me right.

As Glenn Miller plays softly in a candlelit room, I watch as she gradually gives into the feelings inside her. I see a warm smile begin to form on her lips, the kindthat makes it all worthwhile, and I watch as she raises her hazy eyes to mine. Shepulls my hand toward her.

"You're wonderful... ," she says softly, trailing off, and at that moment she falls inlove with me, too; this I know, for I have seen the signs a thousand times. She saysnothing else right away, she doesn't have to, and she gives me a look from anotherlifetime that makes me whole again. I smile back, with as much passion as I canmuster, and we stare at each other with the feelings inside us rolling like oceanwaves. I look around the room, then up to the ceiling, then back at Allie, and the wayshe's looking at me makes me warm. And suddenly I feel young again. I'm no longercold or aching, or hunched over or deformed, or almost blind with cataract eyes. I'mstrong and proud, and the luckiest man alive, and I keep on feeling that way for a longtime across the table.

By the time the candles have burned down a third, I am ready to break the silence.

I say, "I love you deeply, and I hope you know that."

"Of course I do," she says breathlessly. "I've always loved you, Noah."

Noah, I hear again. Noah. The word echoes in my head. Noah... Noah. She knows, Ithink to myself, she knows who I am .... She knows ....

Such a tiny thing, this knowledge, but for me it is a gift from God, and I feel ourlifetime together, holding her, loving her, and being with her through the best yearsof my life.

She murmurs, "Noah... my sweet Noah..." And I, who could not accept the doctor'swords, have triumphed again, at least for a moment. I give up the pretense ofmystery, and I kiss her hand and bring it to my cheek and whisper in her ear. I say:

"You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

"Oh . . . Noah," she says with tears in her eyes, "I love you, too."

If only it would end like this, I would be a happy man.

But it won't. Of this I'm sure, for as time slips by, I begin to see the signs of concernin her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and her answer comes softly.

"I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of forgetting you again. It isn't fair... I just can't bearto give this up."

Her voice breaks as she finishes, but I don't know what to say. I know theevening is coming to an end, and there is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable.

In this I am a failure. I finally tell her:

"I'll never leave you. What we have is forever."

She knows this is all I can do, for neither of us wants empty promises. But I can tellby the way she is looking at me that once again she wishes there were more. Thecrickets serenade us, and we begin to pick at our dinner. Neither one of us ishungry, but I lead by example and she follows me. She takes small bites andchews a long time, but I am glad to see her eat. She has lost too much weight inthe past three months.

After dinner, I become afraid despite myself. I know I should be joyous, for thisreunion is the proof that love can still be ours, but I know the bell has tolled thisevening. The sun has long since set and the thief is about to come, and there isnothing I can do to stop it. So I stare at her and wait and live a lifetime in theselast remaining moments.

Nothing.

The clock ticks.

Nothing.

I take her in my arms and we hold each other. Nothing.

I feel her tremble and I whisper in her ear. Nothing.

I tell her for the last time this evening that I love her. Andthe thief comes.

It always amazes me how quickly it happens. Even now, after all this time. For as sheholds me, she begins to blink rapidly and shake her head. Then, turning toward the

corner of the room, she stares for a long time, concern etched on her face. No! mymind screams. Not yet! Not now... not when we're so close! Not tonight! Any nightbut tonight.... Please!

The words are inside me.

I can't take it again! It isn't fair.., it isn't fair.... But once again, it is to noavail.

"Those people," she finally says, pointing,

"are staring at me. Please make them stop." The gnomes.

A pit rises in my stomach, hard and full. My breathing stops for a moment, then startsagain, this time shallower. My mouth goes dry, and I feel my heart pounding. It isover, ! know, and I am right. The sundowning has come. This, the evening confusionassociated with Alzheimer's disease that affects my wife, is the hardest part of all.

For when it comes, she is gone, and sometimes I wonder whether she and I will everlove again.

"There's no one there, Allie," I say, trying to fend off the inevitable. She doesn'tbelieve me.

"They're staring at me."

"No," I whisper while shaking my head. "You can't see them?" "No,"

I say, and she thinks for a moment.

"Well, they're right there," she says, pushing me away, "and they're staring at me."

With that, she begins to talk to herself, and moments later, when I try to comforther, she flinches with wide eyes.

"Who are you?" she cries with panic in her voice, her face becoming whiter. "Whatare you doing here?" There is fear growing inside her, and I hurt, for there is nothingI can do. She moves farther from me, backing away, her hands in a defensive position,and then she says the most heartbreaking words of all.

"Go away! Stay away from me!" she screams. She is pushing the gnomes away fromher, terrified, now oblivious of my presence. I stand and cross the room to her bed. Iam weak now, my legs ache, and there is a strange pain in my side. I don't know whereit comes from. It is a struggle to press the button to call the nurses, for my fingers arethrobbing and seem frozen together, but I finally succeed. They will be here soonnow, I know, and I wait for them. While I wait, I stare at my wife.