Jen’s mind filled with possibilities. “Do not ask Mike to fund a Stradivarius or any other rare instrument. Hear me, Emily? Do not. Enough is enough! And that’s way beyond a normal expense.”
“I might not be-be worthy of one anyway.”
“Do you want to be?” asked Doug.
“More than anything.”
“Then you’ll get there. First, however, make the most of the summer. You’ll be with true professionals, and they’ll have some good advice.”
“I can’t wait to see Maestro Perlman again,” said Emily, addressing Doug directly. “He really wanted me to go to Julliard in New York, where he teaches master classes,” she told him, shaking her head. “But I was too scared to leave Boston.”
Silence resonated for a moment. “Sounds awfully familiar…” The deep voice next to Jen offered thoughtfully. “Staying home seems to run in your family.”
“You had lots of options, Em,” said Jen. “But The New England Conservatory is a fabulous school, too. You’re not being cheated.”
“The Maestro said the same thing when I told him at music camp last summer.
He understands me, and he said when I was ready to fly, I should let him know.”
“I have a feeling,” said Doug slowly, “that when the time comes, your violin issue will take care of itself.”
“Doug’s probably right. And I’m beginning to feel like the most ordinary person in this car!”
The bit of levity lightened the mood, but Jen continued to think about her sister’s dream. The “violin issue” wouldn’t take care of itself. Nothing ever resolved itself, except a common cold. She had to come up with a future plan.
##
“Your sister is going to have a fabulous summer,” said Doug as he and Jen headed back to the car after waving goodbye to Emily.
“I think so, too. At least she can’t complain about the campus. Hundreds of acres surrounded by scenery an artist would paint. I just hope it’s everything she
dreamed it would be.”
“Dreams take a lot of work. And sometimes, as the song tells us, we get what we need instead of what we want.”
“I suppose. But none of us are willing to settle…at least not yet. And that includes you!” Jen took out the car keys and offered them to Doug. “Feel like driving? Suddenly, I’m wiped.”
He took the keys and kissed her. “Sometimes being a big sister is hard work. I don’t think I gave Eve an ounce of concern compared to how you guys act.
Guess I wasn’t a great big brother.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. From what you’ve told me, you were trying to cope with some family dynamics yourself.”
“You may have a point,” he said, kissing her again. This time she blushed, and his heart filled. “Let’s go. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to reevaluate.”
With her hand on the door, she tilted her head back to see him. “What do you mean?”
“Want to take a little detour to chez Collins?”
Her eyes widened, a grin started. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
They headed east and left the Mass Pike at the next exit. Doug had no expectations, but felt his stomach tighten. Despite his protestations to the contrary, was it possible he still sought approval from the people who should have been his natural cheerleaders? He’d thought he was beyond caring about his folks’ opinions.
“They might not even be home,” he muttered.
Jen massaged his shoulder. Sweet. “It’ll be fine,” she said. “Either they’ll confirm your beliefs, or you’ll have a happy surprise. Regardless, you won’t have to wonder anymore.”
True. “I love your analysis,” he said, “realistic with a hint of optimism. And I hope you still feel that way if this is a total bust.”
And there was the crux. He wanted Jen to know the good, the bad and the ugly.
He’d been honest in all other ways—school, career, relocation—but somehow, his family had remained hidden. He reached for her hand, and she tucked it into his.
“This time around,” he began, “I want everything in the open. Maybe you’ve never given my family a second thought. But I’m in deep with you, Jen, and now I want no secrets.”
She pulled her hand away. “I hear you, believe you, but Doug…I’m not quite ready. You’re moving too fast.”
His breath caught; his thoughts spun. Jen’s mind continued to rule her heart. Fear still nipped at her, and she clung to a safety zone. In total contradiction to when he held her in his arms. In her bed, she’d received him lovingly, with heart and soul. He breathed again.
“Take all the time you want, Henny-Penny. I’m not going anywhere.”
##
Doug drove down one of the town’s main streets, turned right for several blocks and approached the neighborhood of one-story, wood-sided homes where he grew up. He gazed at the familiar setting. As usual, some front lawns were well-tended, uniformly green and trimmed; others needed weeding. And yet other homes needed a paint job.
“It all seems both familiar and strange,” he said. “I know every street, but basically, I feel like an outsider, evaluating the area like a Realtor would. And yet, I lived here for eighteen years. A long time.”
He felt Jen’s hand on his thigh.
