“I’m getting dinner with Duncan and Chance. I told them I wanna go somewhere instead of hanging at my house, so I have time to get a shower in first.”

“Good deal.” Micah’s fingernails grazed under my belly button and over the edge of my hip bone, teeth nipping at my shoulder. “Well, better make best of our time, right?”

He pressed up against my back. He was already hard. I braced my hands on the tile and groaned, pushing toward him. “Jesus, please tell me you’re chill with topping.”

Micah ran his nails running up and down my sides. “Yup, down for anything. But since you’re on a time crunch, let’s do this instead.”

His cock slid over my crease, pressing against my entrance but not taking it any further. It was the sexiest thing Micah had done to me, but it was also the most intimate. He kept his movements slow, like he was trying hard not to let it be over before it even got started.

I curled my hand on the tile, trying to hold off too, so I took in the way Micah’s fingers traced shapes along my chest, around my nipple, how his mouth sucked and licked a spot on my back. I was certain would that would leave a mark.

Impatience took control, and we rutted against each other, Micah’s hands gripping hard on my hips, while I braced my hands on the tile. It was messy and slippery, our moans echoing off the walls the best sound I’d ever heard.

“I’m gonna—fuck,” Micah said, gritting the words out between his teeth as warmth spilled over my bowed back. He shivered against me as he rode through his orgasm before spinning me around and slamming our mouths together. Micah’s hand fisted my cock, and in two pumps, I was crying out into his kiss, quickly grabbing his shoulders to keep myself upright.

We kissed a little longer until Micah pulled away. He reached for the bar of soap and said, “Let’s get cleaned up. You have dinner to get to.”

It was moments like this I loved the most. Micah was more touchy-feely more after sex. He always had a hand on my shoulders or back as I cleaned up or was combing his fingers through my hair, until we shuffled around each other so he had time to wash up too.

After we got out, we got dressed. Micah handed me a T-shirt and joggers to borrow. We didn’t even talk about it. I didn’t know when things had shifted like this, when wearing each other’s clothes and waking up together became a natural part of our lives.

I’d wanted to spend more time with Micah before meeting up with Chance and Duncan, but I was close to running late. I barely got to the restaurant on time and saw they were already sitting at a table.

“Sorry,” I said, taking a long swig of the water waiting for me. “I got caught in traffic on the highway.”

“It’s cool, we just got here,” Chance said, pushing a basket of tortilla chips toward me. “How did the training go yesterday?”

I slammed through a couple of chips, not realizing how hungry I was until I got going. “Really good. I think I’m going to do more of them as they come up. I brought Micah along because he’s got some stuff going on with his sister, and I think it helped him out a lot.”

I didn’t know if I should tell them that Micah had asked me out on a date. It was totally outside of my comfort zone to talk about. I was gearing up to tell them when I caught Chance’s shoulders shaking with laughter. He pointed to the tortilla chip I packed with salsa sitting halfway to my mouth and said, “Eat the food or put it down, bro. You’re making a mess on the table.”

I set the chip down on a small plate nearby, shaking my head. “Okay, this is awkward as fuck, but here goes. Micah and I are going on a date this week, right? But I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not like I’ve had a ton of opportunities because I was busy getting loaded.”

“You’re not the first person who’s ever gone through that,” Duncan said. “Lots of recovering addicts have never been with someone without being high or drunk, and it’s scary to try to connect sober. Fortunately, there aren’t rules on how dating works. Everyone’s different. Every couple is different.”

“Seriously,” Chance said. “And if this doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean you have to give up, y’know?”

The terrifying part was, I didn’t want what I had with Micah to end. I wanted sleepy mornings, and quiet evenings, and shower sex. I could see us making dinners together that were more than just heating food for fuel to fuck again.

“I didn’t expect that I would end up catching major feels for the dude. And that’s scary as fuck,” I said, staring down at the table. It was insane how much it meant to me that Micah was still into me, even though he now knew about my sketchy past. But I wasn’t gonna just sit here over tacos and talk about how he made my heart do wild things, how I always reached for him when I woke up.

“Yeah, it is. And what you’re feeling is going to change a lot of things, but it’s good because it shows you’re growing,” Duncan said, like he understood all the things I was feeling without me saying a single word. “I’m so happy for you.”

Chance snapped his fingers and pointed to Duncan. “Oh, by the way, don’t forget to invite them to your birthday before Destiny bugs them.”

I looked at Duncan like he’d lost his head. Duncan hated having any attention on him on his birthday, always choosing to do something low-key with a few friends. Even at work he got all embarrassed when someone surprised him with a cake. “Yo, since when do you have birthday parties?”

Duncan rolled his head toward the ceiling and exhaled a tired sigh. “I don’t, but Destiny is insistent. Something about how being in my forties means I gotta have at least one party. I tried to hold her off for a couple more years, but she wouldn’t have it. Consider this your invitation. Two weeks. Saturday. I’ll tell Destiny you’re coming so she doesn’t hound you about it.”

“Right on. Now that we’ve gotten through that incredibly awkward convo, let’s talk about literally anything else, like ordering tacos,” I said, flagging down the server.

The rest of the dinner went on as it usually did when I hung out with Chance and Duncan, just with different scenery. I expected at some point I’d have the urge to bail, but it never came. Afterward, while walking to my car, I saw a text from Micah about a time to meet at the skating rink.

To anyone else, these changes wouldn’t be a huge deal. For me, knowing that I didn’t have to rely on a schedule to keep myself above water was uncomfortable, yet it felt good. Really good.

MICAH

Istared out into the half-empty rink, the floor a spectacle of neon glittery lights, trying to ignore the electric hum of worry under my skin. Nik sent a text earlier saying he’d let me know when he was on his way.

He was ten minutes late.

I checked my phone again. The only message waiting for me was from Mom asking me to come to a dinner they were hosting next week. Mom and I hadn’t hung out in almost three weeks, both of us still too sore from what happened with Ada. We’d suffered through a couple stiff phone calls to catch up, but this was something else.

This was an olive branch.

I sighed and opened my text chat with Nik, staring at the looming time stamp. A sinking mixture of dread cemented in the pit of my stomach, and I slumped back against the wall. For once, I got invested in a hookup, and my head went flying into the clouds, getting filled with a bunch of ideas about getting more serious with Nik.

Who could control where their heart ventured? I couldn’t. At least if this ended now, I wouldn’t have to endure the humiliation of making a complete fool of myself.

Okay, it was time to stop standing at the entrance waiting. With a resigned sigh, I grabbed my in-lines and pushed off the wall. I headed toward an open seat, figuring I may as well make use of my time here since I’d paid for it.

“Micah!”

Nik’s voice pitched over the pounding music near the rink. My pulse kicked up in hope, and I turned around to find Nik jogging to me. Even in a bland pair of joggers and a worn T-shirt, it still made me want to throw him against the wall and kiss the hell out of him.

Nik caught up to me and pulled me into a hug, which was unexpected. Still, I relished the relief of seeing him and wound an arm around his waist, closing my eyes at the familiar feeling of his body against mine.

“Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered against my ear, slightly out of breath. “My therapy appointment went over, and then my phone died, and I was already on the road, and I didn’t want to fish for a charging cable.”

“No worries,” I said, pushing aside my earlier freak-out. Nik stepped back, and now that he was less hidden by the dimmed lighting, I saw the deep circles settled under his red-rimmed eyes, his lips rolled into a thin line. Worry wormed its way back into my stomach again. Something was off.

Nik scrubbed a palm over his face and looked off to the side, his eyes shiny, fingers running over the inside of his elbow. “One of my coworkers has been having a hard time with life, and he quit yesterday. He’d been working hard since he got out of rehab, but then some shit went down, and he wasn’t doing good. All it can take is one bad week and—” He sucked in a breath between his teeth with a sharp shake of his head. “All downhill from there. That’s my worst nightmare. I ain’t got time to mess around with that, so I made an appointment with my therapist.”

I turned away, overwhelmed by the tenderness that swelled in me, slowly raising a dormant part of my heart. Fate was a mischievous jester, but it could be merciful, and it seemed to have been with me finding Nik. He’d been to the rockiest bottom and somehow had clawed his way back to stable ground.

He took that wisdom and gave his time to people who were also struggling. Could there be someone like Nik out there who was that for Ada, who could let her know she wasn’t alone? Would they be able to plant the seed of hope she needed to climb out too?

“Hey,” Nik said, his hand bumping against mine. I turned to him, finding a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry I showed up looking like I walked out of a dumpster fire. We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to. I can switch shifts with⁠—”

I tapped my finger against his lips and shook my head. “Chill. Thinking about how badass you are doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here with you right now. It’s just hard to think when I’m around you, sometimes.”

Nik’s resulting smile was a resplendent light that could pierce through any wall, and I knew it could because it vanquished any doubt I had about how far gone I was about him.

This feeling wasn’t raw attraction. It wasn’t a driving desire that made me mad to touch and sink my teeth into him.

It was love.