“I hope I will. The dough did seem all right this morning, but you never know what might happen in there.” Sally eyed the large oven warily.

“I’m sure they’ll be delicious.” Katherine turned towards Mrs. James. “Is there anything I can do to help while I’m waiting for the scones to come out?”

“Not a thing. In fact, your tea’s just about ready. Let me pop a cozy over the pot, and you can take it on up. And I’ll bring your scones up to you when they come out.”

“Sure.” Katherine said brightly, trying to hide a little prick of disappointment. She had hoped for a few minutes to talk things over with Mrs. James, but she could see that this wouldn’t be a good time. She put on a smile. “Thank you. I can come back down for the scones if you like. It doesn’t seem fair to make you come all the way up just to bring me food.”

“Nonsense.” Mrs. James said, giving her shoulders another quick squeeze. “It’s your day off, and since you’re stuck indoors, you’ll just have to let me pamper you a bit.”

Katherine wrapped her friend in a hug, flour and all, then took the tray and started up the stairs to her room. It was nice to be appreciated, but the nagging hurt hadn’t gone away overnight. Leaving the door ajar, she set the tray down on a little table near the window seat and poured herself a cup. A smile spread over her face as she recognized the aroma of her favorite blend.

Sally’s tirade at Rosie had held one true thing: Mrs. James was indeed the kindest woman she’d ever met, and so thoughtful. Looking down at her teacup, Katherine had no doubt she was loved. She let out a long breath. So why do I still feel afraid?

* * * *

Katherine sat curled up in a blanket on the window seat, Bible in her lap and fingers wrapped around a warm cup of tea when a soft knock on the door made her look up.

“I’ve brought your scones,” Mrs. James said gently, stepping in and closing the door behind her. “And I can tell you’ve something weighing on you. Do you need to talk?”

Katherine hesitated, “But the shop…the first of the dailies will be in soon.”

“I told Sally to come up and fetch me if it gets too much for her. She really has improved the past few days, and a little responsibility won’t hurt. Besides, there won’t be many brave enough to venture out in all this rain.” Mrs. James moved a pillow off the other end of the window seat and asked, “May I?”

“Of course.” Katherine smiled, curling her feet closer to make room

“Now, this thing that’s weighing you down, does it need talking out, or is it something you just need to take to the Lord?”

“I don’t know.” Katherine said, frowning. “Part of me feels like I should be able to figure this out myself, but I honestly don’t know how.”

Mrs. James gestured to the open Bible on Katherine’s lap. “Well, it looks like you’ve got a good start anyway.”

“I’m trying.” Katherine ran her thumb absent-mindedly over the corner of the pages.

“Would this have anything to do with Sally being here, and things being different?”

Katherine’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“Just a little educated guess, Dearie.”

Katherine drew in a long breath. “It’s just… for so long I didn’t really have anyone. I mean, I had my parents, but I’d pushed them out of my heart.”

Mrs. James nodded, a look of sympathetic understanding in her eyes.

“I’ve been so enjoying being loved by the people I love, but now there’s this fear, that… I don’t even know exactly what I’m afraid of, but I am.”

Mrs. James sat still for a moment, gazing out at the driving rain. Then without turning, she said sofly, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” She smiled at Katherine and gently took the Bible from her lap.

Placing the ribbon marker where Katherine had been reading, Mrs. James flipped the pages quickly. She handed it back, and put her finger on the page. “Here, 1 John 4:18. It’s a verse I’ve had to cling to much over the past two years.”

Katherine looked up, eyes wide with surprise. “You have?”

“Yes. You see, Katherine, God designed us to love as He loves, but human love falls short every time. We so often base our love solely on emotions, and fixate on how we feel. But feelings are fleeting, so this kind of feeling-based love creates fear, and that fear torments us. The more we fear, the more selfish and self-centered we become, and that in turn intensifies our fear, and so it goes, on and on.”

“So, what’s the answer?”

Mrs. James reached over and gently tapped the page. “This. You need to get to know God’s love so that you can tell true from false. Then, when you are tempted to fear or jealousy or envy, you can recognize that love doesn’t envy, it isn’t jealous or self-seeking. It doesn’t doubt or fear, but believes and hopes.”

“That’s from 1 Corinthians, isn’t it?” Katherine kept her place with one finger while flipping back the pages.

“Yes, chapter 13.”

A faint clatter sounded from downstairs, and Mrs. James stood reluctantly to her feet. “I suppose I should go check how Sally’s getting on.” Squeezing Katherine’s hand, she said softly, “Don’t forget to eat your scones while they’re warm, Dearie.”

Katherine returned the squeeze, eyes shining with tears. As her motherly friend gently pulled the door shut, Katherine settled further into her nest of blankets and pillows and began to read about God’s love, and to talk to Him about how her own love had fallen short.

* * * *

“Why, Katherine, I didn’t expect a visit on yer day off.” Captain Braddock said as Katherine came through the door of the Harborside later that day. He helped her with her jacket, hanging it on the coatrack and saying with a wink, “Of course, I can’t say I’m at all displeased.”

Katherine smiled, and again felt how wrong she had been to be jealous the day before.

“I thought today might be a good day to look through some of the sea chests in the tower, like you had talked about the other day.”

“Ah, yes. It’s just the day for it. I’ll fetch the key from my desk and we’ll go up.” He stopped to check the thermometer and adjust the door of the wood stove on the way to his desk. “Mind bringing an empty box from the storeroom in case we want to bring anything down to sort where it’s warm?”

Katherine’s hand was on the door handle by the time he had finished his sentence. “Of course! I’ll be right back.”

The storeroom was dark and cold, the air filled with an odd combination of mustiness and fragrance. It had been used to house shipments of tea ever since the Harborside was expanded by an enterprising Braddock in the Victorian era.

In the old days, the tea business had occupied the whole block-long brick building, but over the years business had declined to the point that the family was forced to sell all but the three small rooms on one end. In more recent days, the decline had become so severe that the shop was almost lost altogether.

Katherine shuddered as she remembered how much Captain Braddock had been willing to give up in order to save the place. She was so thankful they had found a way to save both the shop and Captain Braddock’s retirement savings.

Katherine scanned the dark corners of the room. She had never seen the storeroom even close to full. She sighed and walked down the stairs. One day, she thought, perhaps the Harborside will need all this space, and even be able to gain back the rest of the building.

She shook her head at her own optimism. Even with the recent upturn in sales, that seemed too much to dream. She grabbed an empty box from a pile near the door and headed back up the stairs.

A thrill of excitement ran through her as she neared the spiral staircase. The room at the top had been kept a secret for so long, Katherine never lost the feeling of entering a hidden world when she walked through the doorway at the top of the stairs.

Today it seemed otherworldly, indeed, with a pale blue light flooding the space, dimly contrasting with the cozy glow of lamps in the shop below. She stood a moment on the threshold, the box dangling from one hand, gazing with anticipation at the sea trunks, resting securely beneath the rain-pelted windows.