A half-hour later, Katherine descended the stairs in a long skirt and her coziest sweater, wet curls pulled into a messy bun. She found Mrs. James and Sally in the kitchen.
“Good morning, Dearie. Glad you came down.” Mrs. James wiped her hands on her apron before giving Katherine a quick one-armed squeeze. “I’m covered with flour this morning, else I’d give you a proper hug. Any nice plans for your day off?”
“Not exactly. I had thought of going on a walk, but this rain…”
Mrs. James nodded, glancing out the small window over the sink. “It sure is wet out there today.” She eyed Katherine for a moment. “Tea and a book, then?”
Katherine grinned. “You know me so well! Yes, I was hoping for a pot of tea to take upstairs.”
“I already have one brewing for you. And Sally’s just about to pull a batch of her scones from the oven, so you can take a plate of those with you, if you like.”
“That would be perfect!” Turning to Sally, Katherine asked, “You made the scones yourself?”
Sally smiled nervously. “Yes. Aunt Harriet has been teaching me. My first batch wasn’t very good, though.”
“Neither was mine. I forgot a step, and they turned out almost inedible. I did get the hang of it after a while, though.”
“I hope I will. The dough did seem all right this morning, but you never know what might happen in there.” Sally eyed the large oven warily.
“I’m sure they’ll be delicious.” Katherine turned towards Mrs. James. “Is there anything I can do to help while I’m waiting for the scones to come out?”
“Not a thing. In fact, your tea’s just about ready. Let me pop a cozy over the pot, and you can take it on up. And I’ll bring your scones up to you when they come out.”
“Sure.” Katherine said brightly, trying to hide a little prick of disappointment. She had hoped for a few minutes to talk things over with Mrs. James, but she could see that this wouldn’t be a good time. She put on a smile. “Thank you. I can come back down for the scones if you like. It doesn’t seem fair to make you come all the way up just to bring me food.”
“Nonsense.” Mrs. James said, giving her shoulders another quick squeeze. “It’s your day off, and since you’re stuck indoors, you’ll just have to let me pamper you a bit.”
Katherine wrapped her friend in a hug, flour and all, then took the tray and started up the stairs to her room. It was nice to be appreciated, but the nagging hurt hadn’t gone away overnight. Leaving the door ajar, she set the tray down on a little table near the window seat and poured herself a cup. A smile spread over her face as she recognized the aroma of her favorite blend.
Sally’s tirade at Rosie had held one true thing: Mrs. James was indeed the kindest woman she’d ever met, and so thoughtful. Looking down at her teacup, Katherine had no doubt she was loved. She let out a long breath. So why do I still feel afraid?
* * * *
Katherine sat curled up in a blanket on the window seat, Bible in her lap and fingers wrapped around a warm cup of tea when a soft knock on the door made her look up.
“I’ve brought your scones,” Mrs. James said gently, stepping in and closing the door behind her. “And I can tell you’ve something weighing on you. Do you need to talk?”
Katherine hesitated, “But the shop…the first of the dailies will be in soon.”
“I told Sally to come up and fetch me if it gets too much for her. She really has improved the past few days, and a little responsibility won’t hurt. Besides, there won’t be many brave enough to venture out in all this rain.” Mrs. James moved a pillow off the other end of the window seat and asked, “May I?”
“Of course.” Katherine smiled, curling her feet closer to make room
“Now, this thing that’s weighing you down, does it need talking out, or is it something you just need to take to the Lord?”
“I don’t know.” Katherine said, frowning. “Part of me feels like I should be able to figure this out myself, but I honestly don’t know how.”
Mrs. James gestured to the open Bible on Katherine’s lap. “Well, it looks like you’ve got a good start anyway.”
“I’m trying.” Katherine ran her thumb absent-mindedly over the corner of the pages.
“Would this have anything to do with Sally being here, and things being different?”
Katherine’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“Just a little educated guess, Dearie.”
Katherine drew in a long breath. “It’s just… for so long I didn’t really have anyone. I mean, I had my parents, but I’d pushed them out of my heart.”
Mrs. James nodded, a look of sympathetic understanding in her eyes.
“I’ve been so enjoying being loved by the people I love, but now there’s this fear, that… I don’t even know exactly what I’m afraid of, but I am.”
Mrs. James sat still for a moment, gazing out at the driving rain. Then without turning, she said sofly, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” She smiled at Katherine and gently took the Bible from her lap.
Placing the ribbon marker where Katherine had been reading, Mrs. James flipped the pages quickly. She handed it back, and put her finger on the page. “Here, 1 John 4:18. It’s a verse I’ve had to cling to much over the past two years.”
Katherine looked up, eyes wide with surprise. “You have?”
“Yes. You see, Katherine, God designed us to love as He loves, but human love falls short every time. We so often base our love solely on emotions, and fixate on how we feel. But feelings are fleeting, so this kind of feeling-based love creates fear, and that fear torments us. The more we fear, the more selfish and self-centered we become, and that in turn intensifies our fear, and so it goes, on and on.”
“So, what’s the answer?”
